I always knew she was the crazy one i just couldn't prove it. All the time she would forget stuff, make things up. And when we kids didn't agree with her, she erupted. I guess i always though that it was my job to keep the others from becoming crazy as well. They had room to grow. I was unfortunately already fucked up as it was.1
Potter looked up into the rafters of the church. She had no business being there and she knew it. Her mom had told her time and time again not to step foot on holy ground, or a bad girl like her would be smited. Potter grimaced. "Smited" was such bullshit. The only thing willing to smite her was the truancy officer and the only one capable was the judge. Both of whom would never find out that Potter was skipping school. 2
The girl rolled over on to her stomach to finish her report. No one would pitch a fit if she kept up her school work. So far Potter had managed to pull a low B in course study and a low A in ancillaries. If the truant officer wanted to book her, he'd have to put up a good case, plus find her. Like mom will ever tell them where I am. She's deathly afraid of anyone in a suit, much less a badge as well. Potter sent her stuff to her history teacher and rested her cheeks on the cold plastic of her beat up lap top. 3
She had stolen it a couple years ago. Not out right. She maybe poor and a hoodie, but Potter still had her pride. No she had lifted it off some jerk one day in the park.4
Monica, her mother, had wanted to spend time with the kids and open their minds to the supernatural world around them. Potter commented that their world was "super" natural enough without adding ghouls and warlocks. Monica had slapped Potter then. Yea, me and my big mouth. Wouldn't have been so bad if her "friends" didn't feel the need to slap me too. The woman and skinny men had always felt an odd disturbance around Potter. She's different, Monica...Naturally, she's the oldest by a good six years...She'll never be able to function in green society. Potter always laughed at this. She wanted nothing to do with "green society". But then again, according to her mom, she get it form her father. Whenever Potter tried to steer her siblings the right way, Monica would come storming about and shouting nonsense words and "warding" against evil. She had often beat Potter senseless to get her point across. Every time, Monica tried to make amends by taking her children to a healing tree.5
One such "tree" existed in the main park. A large maple tree stood remnant of an earlier time. Monica said that all the lost souls in the world could be healed just by seeing it. Likewise, according to the woman, all the evil in the world stood at bay because of it.6
Potter thought that this was pig's turd. If evil were scared of a tree then we wouldn't live in a two room shack! Dad wouldn't have left you for a younger woman and we wouldn't be standing here praying to a TREE! Inside her head Potter waged a full fledged argument against her mother. But she uttered not a word. She knew the consequences of speaking when Monica was in a "mood". And the longer they were a way from the house, the longer Potter evaded her punishment; The worse it would be, for all of them.7
That day had been like any other healing ritual. They all expelled negative energies in order to feel welcomed by the tree. They had just been about to climb into the boughs when a very official looking person stopped them.8
"Sorry, unless you own this tree. you are not allowed to climb it." 9
Monica face contorted when she noticed the man. Her face flushed and she took on a rather haggish expression."You can't own trees. this is a park. It is free for all."10
"Well, unless you buy that tree, you're not allowed to step near it."11
Potter's eyes looked about her. She evaluated all the exits. Her mother was about to make a scene and scenes brought cops. If the court got a hold on her and her siblings their lives would change drastically. She could save her brothers and sisters. Momma is on her own.12
Potter slowly edged the youngest one away and made her way to Daisy. After everyone was a good ten yards away, unable to be mistaken for being connected, Potter returned to her mother. Both the businessman and Monica Wilson were shouting, hell bent on making themselves heard.13
"Look lady I told you this is private property!"14
"Private property my arse! You can't do this!"15
"yes, I can cause I own this tree!" 16
Monica lost it and began to attack the man. She dug her toenails into his shins and ripped apart his jacket. She eyes were livid and her rage roared through the park. 17
"Evil! Evil! You will not dwell in this place. That tree is sacred, you are not to touch it!" The man dropped his case and began to defend himself, cruelly. His fist slammed into the woman even after she had fallen to the ground. Potter watched as her mother was pommeled in front of her eyes.Get the younger one's out. She brought this on herself. Potter scooped up the man's belongings and made her way home to her siblings in the car. The calm voice in her head told her that it was the right thing to do but it felt so wrong. Was it? Potter looked at her three siblings (Chrys had yet to be born). They don't deserve to see this. You don't deserve this. The voice had told her. So Potter walked on.18
But that's my Moma...if I don't help her...
She turned away but couldn't get rid of her mother's shriek for mercy. Potter gritted her teeth and ran full speed ahead, cursing all the while. Potter didn't know what she would do but she felt that all the power in the world rest on her shoulders and she knew just how to use it.19
"Geroff my Mom!" She jumped onto the grown man and latched her nails into his hair. She pulled with all her might but he didn't seem to notice. After much tugging and swearing, she managed to rip off his toupee and proceeded to dig her nails into his scalp. But her mother continued to get beaten. The man wrapped his fingers around Monica;'s throat and began to whisper the same nonsense sounding words Potter's mom always said. She's dying!Moma,no! In the end, Potter knew what to do. She took five steps back and gave herself a running start to remember what she had learned in kick boxing class. 20
"Kyah!" She jumped up and angled the side of her right foot in between the man's legs. He fell like a stone. Monica had been nearly impossible to drag home. 21
After cleaning her mother's wounds and feeding her siblings, Potter attended to the case. She hadn't really know what was in it but it proved very valuable in many ways. Inside had been a cell phone, laptop, PDA, paper, a wallet, and other stuff that she couldn't read. Potter had sold the phone and pda. But she kept the laptop for herself. It got internet when she was in public buildings and was hers to keep. If that hadn't been enough, the papers regarding the tree had been present as well. Looks like we both when Mom.22
<3<3<3<323
Potter grimace reminiscing. Her family hadn't seen the business man in since that day years ago, but Potter knew he would have been pissed to find his stuff missing. "I hope I never have to encounter him again." Potter thought out loud.24
"You might get your wish." A dark voice rang over the rafters. Potter sat up and looked behind her finding a a tall dark figure looming above her.
Potter looked up into the rafters of the church. She had no business being there and she knew it. Her mom had told her time and time again not to step foot on holy ground, or a bad girl like her would be smited. Potter grimaced. "Smited" was such bullshit. The only thing willing to smite her was the truancy officer and the only one capable was the judge. Both of whom would never find out that Potter was skipping school. 2
The girl rolled over on to her stomach to finish her report. No one would pitch a fit if she kept up her school work. So far Potter had managed to pull a low B in course study and a low A in ancillaries. If the truant officer wanted to book her, he'd have to put up a good case, plus find her. Like mom will ever tell them where I am. She's deathly afraid of anyone in a suit, much less a badge as well. Potter sent her stuff to her history teacher and rested her cheeks on the cold plastic of her beat up lap top. 3
She had stolen it a couple years ago. Not out right. She maybe poor and a hoodie, but Potter still had her pride. No she had lifted it off some jerk one day in the park.4
Monica, her mother, had wanted to spend time with the kids and open their minds to the supernatural world around them. Potter commented that their world was "super" natural enough without adding ghouls and warlocks. Monica had slapped Potter then. Yea, me and my big mouth. Wouldn't have been so bad if her "friends" didn't feel the need to slap me too. The woman and skinny men had always felt an odd disturbance around Potter. She's different, Monica...Naturally, she's the oldest by a good six years...She'll never be able to function in green society. Potter always laughed at this. She wanted nothing to do with "green society". But then again, according to her mom, she get it form her father. Whenever Potter tried to steer her siblings the right way, Monica would come storming about and shouting nonsense words and "warding" against evil. She had often beat Potter senseless to get her point across. Every time, Monica tried to make amends by taking her children to a healing tree.5
One such "tree" existed in the main park. A large maple tree stood remnant of an earlier time. Monica said that all the lost souls in the world could be healed just by seeing it. Likewise, according to the woman, all the evil in the world stood at bay because of it.6
Potter thought that this was pig's turd. If evil were scared of a tree then we wouldn't live in a two room shack! Dad wouldn't have left you for a younger woman and we wouldn't be standing here praying to a TREE! Inside her head Potter waged a full fledged argument against her mother. But she uttered not a word. She knew the consequences of speaking when Monica was in a "mood". And the longer they were a way from the house, the longer Potter evaded her punishment; The worse it would be, for all of them.7
That day had been like any other healing ritual. They all expelled negative energies in order to feel welcomed by the tree. They had just been about to climb into the boughs when a very official looking person stopped them.8
"Sorry, unless you own this tree. you are not allowed to climb it." 9
Monica face contorted when she noticed the man. Her face flushed and she took on a rather haggish expression."You can't own trees. this is a park. It is free for all."10
"Well, unless you buy that tree, you're not allowed to step near it."11
Potter's eyes looked about her. She evaluated all the exits. Her mother was about to make a scene and scenes brought cops. If the court got a hold on her and her siblings their lives would change drastically. She could save her brothers and sisters. Momma is on her own.12
Potter slowly edged the youngest one away and made her way to Daisy. After everyone was a good ten yards away, unable to be mistaken for being connected, Potter returned to her mother. Both the businessman and Monica Wilson were shouting, hell bent on making themselves heard.13
"Look lady I told you this is private property!"14
"Private property my arse! You can't do this!"15
"yes, I can cause I own this tree!" 16
Monica lost it and began to attack the man. She dug her toenails into his shins and ripped apart his jacket. She eyes were livid and her rage roared through the park. 17
"Evil! Evil! You will not dwell in this place. That tree is sacred, you are not to touch it!" The man dropped his case and began to defend himself, cruelly. His fist slammed into the woman even after she had fallen to the ground. Potter watched as her mother was pommeled in front of her eyes.Get the younger one's out. She brought this on herself. Potter scooped up the man's belongings and made her way home to her siblings in the car. The calm voice in her head told her that it was the right thing to do but it felt so wrong. Was it? Potter looked at her three siblings (Chrys had yet to be born). They don't deserve to see this. You don't deserve this. The voice had told her. So Potter walked on.18
But that's my Moma...if I don't help her...
She turned away but couldn't get rid of her mother's shriek for mercy. Potter gritted her teeth and ran full speed ahead, cursing all the while. Potter didn't know what she would do but she felt that all the power in the world rest on her shoulders and she knew just how to use it.19
"Geroff my Mom!" She jumped onto the grown man and latched her nails into his hair. She pulled with all her might but he didn't seem to notice. After much tugging and swearing, she managed to rip off his toupee and proceeded to dig her nails into his scalp. But her mother continued to get beaten. The man wrapped his fingers around Monica;'s throat and began to whisper the same nonsense sounding words Potter's mom always said. She's dying!Moma,no! In the end, Potter knew what to do. She took five steps back and gave herself a running start to remember what she had learned in kick boxing class. 20
"Kyah!" She jumped up and angled the side of her right foot in between the man's legs. He fell like a stone. Monica had been nearly impossible to drag home. 21
After cleaning her mother's wounds and feeding her siblings, Potter attended to the case. She hadn't really know what was in it but it proved very valuable in many ways. Inside had been a cell phone, laptop, PDA, paper, a wallet, and other stuff that she couldn't read. Potter had sold the phone and pda. But she kept the laptop for herself. It got internet when she was in public buildings and was hers to keep. If that hadn't been enough, the papers regarding the tree had been present as well. Looks like we both when Mom.22
<3<3<3<323
Potter grimace reminiscing. Her family hadn't seen the business man in since that day years ago, but Potter knew he would have been pissed to find his stuff missing. "I hope I never have to encounter him again." Potter thought out loud.24
"You might get your wish." A dark voice rang over the rafters. Potter sat up and looked behind her finding a a tall dark figure looming above her.
Author notes
tell me what you think. this is actually a free write so help me fix it. I like the way the story is going. I want anything. tell me what should happen next or if yo think the plot is bad tell me. And sorry for the spelling, like i said this is free write.
In a list
A contest entry
- Give and Recieve- OPTIONS!!!! by Friesian.
450 points, ended December 22, 2008, 26 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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There are a couple of spelling errors... but that is it. I would TOTALLY read on, if I wasnt leaving for Volleyball practice! Ill read more when I return!
Its really good, had me intereested the entire time.


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This isn't too bad. It's got a few spelling errors and confused me a bit at first, but I'm easy to confuse. Anyways, what's the significance of the tree?


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wow!
This is a freewrite!? Amazing!!! Really emotional and deep! It got to me...it made me think... Great job! For a freewrite, this is exceptionally good!

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From the first line i was hooked. I always love the screwed up innercity kid having to look after the family cause mommy and daddy are wackos.
Some bits did confuse me though. You jumped around alot but it was covered up by the intreasting memory.
i'm not gonna go on about grammar and spelling because i'm not perfect ethier, and i just proved it.
And i can honestly say the ending has turned me into a junkie for this story. Want...more...now...
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I liked it, though things seemed a bit vague at this point. You've got a strong character, and the story has potential. I like how it's generally teenage, though it seems there's a little bit of fantasy in there too. You were able to capture me completely with this right from the start, and I really enjoyed reading it. I had a bit of trouble picturing things though, because there aren't many descriptions in it. But apart from that it was a nice read *smile*
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okay i'm not very far in and this seems like a good story but you need to edit it. i presume you mean to say not a word instead of 'nit' a word (p.7)? there is quite a lot of typos in here.
oooh this is a really interesting story and well written!
really original and nice cliff hanger!
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its a good read i must say but fix up the little typo errors u've got do u have anymore by the way i sure would like to read.

1 - 7 of 7







