Journel Entries Of The Restless

January 2nd, 2008 1

Today was somewhat boring, as I thought to myself 'how have I come to be here?' and 'Am I even Important' 2

While I was thinking these thoughts I started to draw, my eyes were so tired and yet I felt that I could let myself just die of fatigue right then and there. Quite sad notion really. As I looked down suddenly as to what I had just been doodling along on the page, I realized I had drawn what was probably to be my certain death. 3

It's important that you, whoever you may be, know what has happened in my life. Especially since this journal will probably be the only evidence of my pitiful existence. I suppose I should start with a somewhat dreary look on life and continue as to why the gun in my father's study has begun to look so kind lately. 4

If you want to know, I guess you'll just have to turn the page. 5

Gia6

January 5th, 2008 7

Well, hello again, beautiful day well not really since it seems to rain every day I'm alive and just so happens to stop when I leave a room and sleep. Every chance the world gets it takes as a chance to torture me. Birds fly over my head, circling me, dive bombing me all in attempts to run my soul as futile. Water comes to form a puddle right in front of my car door, somehow my window is always open even when I don't remember opening it and if that's not enough then this will be, as I cooked myself breakfast this morning I slowly began to realize that everything in my refrigerator was rotten. 8

Yes, it seems life has taken quite a shining to me. Anyway, enough of my whining and back to my life and why it sucks so badly. 9

When I was six my dad became an Alcoholic, he thought it was fun to beat me and my sister. Of course he always beat me harder than her, mostly because I was older. He said "You can take it, you're a woman now and if you can't take a beating from a man then you'll never get anywhere in this world."
You'd think a man who lived in this modern age of ours would have realized it was not okay to beat his kids. However, my father was a stubborn man and didn't like to listen to reason. In fact, he hated it so much that when my mother told him how stupid and abusive he was, he quickly took a shovel to her head. He threatened me and my sister, if we talked we'd go through the worst hell and then he'd kill us. That was enough to keep me and my sister quiet. 10

Slowly through the years I have changed, past events have made me the way I currently am. There's nothing I can do to change it, nothing I can do to stop it, except one very small thing... 11

Click, twirl, "Good bye whoever you are"
BOOM12