Jean Ramoire: All 100

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1. Jean Amelia Ramoire2

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2. I was born in Alamosa, Colorado. I was born in my own house, as my mother knew few people who would take her to the hospital on such short notice (my father having died just the week before), and they were so far away. I was born in the year 1992. 4

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3.  My mother's full name is Catherine Rowena Ramoire. Her last name before she was married was Grey. She's thirty-eight. She has long auburn hair, like me, and hazel eyes. She's unemployed and looking for work so she can support us two. She's an extremely kind person, and she often cries because she feels guilty that she can't provide well for me. However, her insistence that I socialize with children my own age can be irritating. My father's full name is Daniel Camille Ramoire. He was killed in military training when my mom was pregnant with me. According to my mom, he was a 'wonderful person.' I inherited my green eyes from him. Had he been alive, he would have been forty this November, as my mom keeps reminding me. 6

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4.  I'm an only child. My mom never went looking for a new husband after my dad died. I asked her why when I was twelve. She said that once you're truly in love you can't give your heart to anybody else.8

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5. I still live in Alamosa in a small cottage-like house on a dusty road. It's white and very plain, but that's okay because just me and my mom live there. We really don't need much space. I prefer to be outdoors anyway.10

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6. I'm a sophomore at Keyward High School. I don't hold a job and have no desire to do so. Besides, my mom insists that she can handle the finances on her own.12

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7. I am five foot six, and weigh a what I consider healthy weight of 124 pounds. I have waist-length auburn hair and green eyes. I try to dress as inconspicuously as possible, with black sweaters and jeans being my favorite. I really don't care much for style. I don't really care what people think of me anymore, anyway. I am whole and unscarred, physically anyway. Emotionally is another matter, but that's for a different question.14

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8. I suppose I am lower middle class. I'm not living in a seat of luxury but I'm not living out of a box neither. I don't always get to have whatever I want, but I'd rather live this way than be like one of those spoiled brat girls that scoff me in the halls at school.16

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9. I don't really have any diseases, unless you count the synesthesia, which is more of a condition than a disease. Synesthesia is a condition in which I see letters and shapes in color. My numbers even have personalities. For example, three is violet-red and fussy. It's pretty bizarre, and everyone at school, including my former friends, avoid me because they think I'm crazy or have mental disabilities or something, which isn't true. Synesthesia is rare, but it doesn't impair me in any way. In fact, I can't imagine life without it.18

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10. I'm left-handed, a defining-characteristic in a lot of people with synesthesia.20

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11. My voice is crackly in a pleasant way. Not really like I have a sore throat, but like I just went to a concert the a few nights before and screamed my head off.22

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12.  I don't talk much to other people, but when I do I am constantly asking questions or giving simple one-worded responses, unless I'm around someone I really like. In that case I tend to talk in an elegant manner, which is more reflective of my actual personality. I also speak to my cat this way. I use words like well, actually, do so, entitled, of that nature, etc. I also use a lot of figurative language and use do no instead of don't when I'm talking to those people I like.24

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13. In my pockets I always have a pencil on me, as I love to draw and write. I almost never have money or anything like that. I might also have random objects like stones or papers, because I don't like going inside to put things away. It drives my mom crazy when she does my laundry because I always forget to empty them before I take off my pants.26

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14. I tend to be either sarcastic when I'm in a good mood or negative when I'm in a bad mood. I also talk to myself and animals, as well as leave random things in my pockets (as stated above). 28

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15. My childhood in general was pretty normal up until I was ten years old. From then on, however, I became isolated from my friends when they found out about my synesthesia. From then on I was anti-social.30

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16. My earliest memory is of my mom looking through her photo albums, showing me pictures of my dad and telling me about them until she inevitably started crying.32

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17. I've had nine years of schooling and am currently a sophomore. I intended to continue with my education before I found Leanonn, a world where my written word is more powerful than anything else. Since no time elapses on Earth when I'm in Leanonn, I might very well go back home and continue my education. I doubt it, however.34

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18.  All in all, I have never liked school. The whole affair with homework and useless subjects was a bore, but I absolutely dreaded school when people started avoiding and making fun of me in the fourth grade.36

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19. I taught myself how to draw and write at home. I don't really have any special abilities other than those that I can think of. I'm not really all that special. I only have power in my pen. However, Nathan tells me that on Leanonn earthlings can discover abilities that they don't have on earth. In terms of Leanonn, I discovered that I was able to transform into a hawk like Nathan, but have yet to exploit any other abilities I may have in such a world.38

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20. I never grew up around many people that I respected enough to be a role model. The closest thing to would have to be my mom. I don't necessarily want to be her, but I respect her for her determination and her kindness. I wouldn't mind inheriting her tenacity, but the kindness is something I'm more weary of. Being too nice is like being a sitting duck, in my opinion.40

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21. For the most part I've always gotten along with my mom, but there are times when she insists that I socialize with the neighborhood kids and I have to argue with her over it. She wants to be a good mom, but I don't think she really grasps the concept that most teenagers are jerks and that I have as little chance as socializing with one than I have the chance of turning mud into oatmeal.42

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22. As a very small child I wanted to be an artist, but as I discovered what a wonderful picture words can paint I moved into the ambition of being a writer.44

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23. I always liked running through the abandoned Abbin yard. I would sit there and just watch things for hours. I loved being around nature too much to leave at a reasonable hour, and it wasn't until it was too dark to see my surroundings that I would trudge home, away from the cats and the overgrown flowers. 46

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24. As a young child, I was curious and imaginative. I loved to think in my own world and ask questions about everything I saw or heard.48

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25. Again, I was horribly isolated and treated as a pariah starting at the age of ten. However, before then I was never very popular, but I fit in relatively well. I had several friends. My best friend was Kate, a blonde haired girl that loved being outside like me. She loved my crazy ideas, but too abandoned me when she found out about the synesthesia.50

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26. My first kiss occurred at the age of fifteen, with a boy from Leanonn called Nathan Hawthorne. He's from earth like I am, and trains me to fight in the war against East Leanonn. He and I can each turn into a hawk, a trait unheard of in any of the other earthlings living in Leanonn. He's set to be candidaten, something of a vice president in Leanonn, but deeply resents his position. He was a loner in his old life like me.52

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27. Yes54

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28. I first learned that I was part hawk soul when I witnessed Nathan transform. He tricked me into believing that every person from earth could transform into a certain animal. After trying unsuccessfully every animal in the book, I copied Nathan and tried for hawk. He was awestruck that I could actually transform, into the same animal as him, no less. To this day we have no idea how or why, but I have my theories...56

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29. The discovery of Leanonn.58

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30. My own thoughts and the bitter aftermath of my unpleasant experiences.60

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31. My greatest achievement is being able to put aside my own selfishness and fear and join a truly noble cause, fighting for West Leanonn against the East alongside Nathan, a select group of other earthlings, and my own characters from my numerous novels. 62

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32. My greatest regret is dragging Sasha, a girl that moved in the day I found Leanonn, into my mess. In a rage I climbed the wall that separated the field across the road from a stream, a wall that I was forbidden to cross. Little did I know that Sasha, the first person I was on semi-friendly terms with for years, would follow me to where, unknown to either of us, lay one of the seven portals to Leanonn.64

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33. The most evil thing I have ever done would probably be seeing a shooting star as a thirteen year old and wishing the brutal death of each of the classmates that mocked me on a daily basis.  66

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34. I'm not a criminal, I don't think. However, I am fairly sure that the group I have joined in Leanonn is breaking some law by going against the King Arthero's law.68

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35. I was most frightened when I first came to Leanonn, and woke up in the middle of a stories high plateau in the middle of a grassy field. I had no idea what had happened or where I was, yet I knew it was too real to be a dream and too beautiful to be real.70

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36. The most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me would have to be when I was in the first grade, and I was supposed to play a donkey in the school christmas play. It was so late, and I fell asleep backstage. When it was my turn to go on someone grabbed me and pushed me on stage, thinking that I merely had stage fright. When I was awoken by one of my fellow students I groggily and loudly asked, "What's for breakfast?", interrupting Mary's final line.72

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37.  I would change my revealing that I had synesthesia. If I had kept my mouth shut, things might have turned out different for me. Then again, I would probably have never found Leanonn either, so I guess I wouldn't change that. I suppose I would then have to change ever being friendly to Sasha. I still regret dragging her into this mess of Leanonn. She's not suited for it at all.74

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38. My best memory is that of my first kiss with Nathan.76

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39. My worst memory is that of the ridicule and teasing that shortly accompanied my discovery that I was different from everyone else in my synesthesia.78

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40. I am pessimistic. Most things are worse than they seem. It's a basic fact.80

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41. My greatest fear is that of me having to make the inevitable choice between staying in Leanonn and going back home. I will have to make that choice someday soon, and either way I know I'll be horribly miserable.82

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42. I believe that there is a god and a heaven and a hell, though I'm not sure about the other stuff that comes with it, like the ten commandments and all that. I don't have a specific religion, but of those simple facts I'm sure of. If there wasn't a god or heaven or hell than what would be the point of life?84

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43. I'm anarchist against pretty much any form of government. I hate politics, and love anything rebellious.86

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44. I'm not sure about that. I've been thinking about it a lot, ever since I've met Nathan, but I'm pretty sure he's too much of a gentleman to ever try anything without me asking. And even then, I don't think he would, because he knows that it would make my decision a whole lot harder. 88

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45. I can kill with my written word in Leanonn, though I have never tested it. I would never kill unless it was against a truly evil person, and then they would probably have to harm someone I cared about, like Nathan or my mom or even Sasha. Then again, once this war starts, all bets are off.90

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46. The most evil thing any human could do would be to murder a person that was in love with someone else, like true love. Like what's between me and Nathan. Kill us both, but never separate us.92

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47. Yes I do. I didn't though, until I met Nathan. He made me realize that true love does exist, though it's not at all what you'd expect.94

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48. A successful life involves doing something worth while for someone or something you care about. Leaving the world a little bit better because you've been there. I can only hope that I will be able to live through this war to enjoy any sort of success.96

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49. I hide my feelings from everybody except Nathan. He breaks through my armored shell and digs out my emotions and a surprising honesty streak that I never knew I had. Other than around him, though, I am a locked chest. Feelings are dangerous and foolish to expose. There's no reason for anyone else to know what goes on inside my contaminated head.98

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50. I can't help but mistrust politicians and despise popular girls with no minds or wills of their own.  100

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51. I refuse to ever do anything that would harm Nathan. It sounds corny and mushy, but I just can't. No matter what the stakes are. I physically am not able to harm him. He's too perfect.102

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52. I would die for Nathan, and I suppose Leanonn, in the war that is sure to come.104

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53. I treat people with emotional distance. I talk as little as possible to them. I open up with people I get to know and like, acting relatively normal. Or as normal as a girl like me can be. Only with Nathan can I completely open up and take the bars off my cage of isolation.106

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54. Both my mother and Nathan are important to me. My mom is so... and Nathan is just... I can't even describe something as deep as a mother daughter bond and Nathan is unable to describe, period. That's why I'm having such a problem with my inevitable decision.108

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55. I respect my mother, who has never once given up on herself or stopped trying to provide for us the best she can.110

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56. I am friends with Sasha, I suppose. Though she is over-talkative and not really my kind of person, she was the first one to ever be kind to me in years. I felt so guilty for having to leave her in the Castle of the Stones so that I could go and join the group of earthlings in the forest. I couldn't drag her into a war, too. I am friendly with the people I have written about and that have been reborn in Leanonn, though it's hard to become close with these people as they are in essence figments of my imagination.112

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57. Nathan is my significant other. He is the kindest, most patient, and wisest person I have ever met. He has brown hair and hazel eyes. Since no one ages in Leanonn, he is still fifteen and looks accordingly, though he has been in Leanonn for fifteen years as well. This may seem creepy, but since no one ages it is as if his mind were frozen in his fifteen year old self as well, so has been the same person for fifteen years rather than gaining fifteen years maturity.114

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58. Yes, with Nathan. It wasn't love at first sight, but rather a growing, breathing creature. We melded into each other closer and closer every time we were together.116

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59. I cannot answer, as I have already found Nathan.118

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60. I am extremely close with my mom, though in my own way. I would not pour my heart out into her, but the way it is I feel as if I don't have to.120

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61. I don't know if I want to start a family in the future. I'm only fifteen, after all. It depends on if I even survive this war or if I even choose to stay in Leanonn, as horrible as that may seem.122

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62. I would turn to Nathan, naturally. If I was in earth I would turn to my mother.124

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63. I trust Nathan, because he's always seemed indestructible. I know that if push came to shove, he would do everything in his power to protect my life.126

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64. I would be missed by my mother, Sasha, all those characters that I inadvertently wrote into Leanonn, and Nathan, the most of all of them.128

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65. I despise Ferard, a man that took fancy of me the first day I was in Leanonn. He has been trying to force me away from Nathan ever since.130

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66. I have a tendency to argue. 132

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67. I don't prefer to lead. It's not in my nature. I don't really care if anyone else does what I say, or if they even listen. I wouldn't know what to say to anyone, anyway. I don't have anything to say. I have no business leading anything. It's too much like politics to appeal to me.134

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68. No, because other people tend to dislike me. I am better kept to myself, where nobody else can hurt me. I have been through too much hurt to be foolish enough to surround myself with people that could hurt me more.136

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69. I really don't. I've had people talking about me for years, thinking I'm crazy and insane and stupid. I'm too used to it for it to bother me anymore.138

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70. My favorite pastimes are writing, drawing, and just letting go and flying wherever I please as a hawk.140

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71. My most treasured possession is a rock I found in Arizona when I was staying with my uncle because my mom was ill. When you hold it up to the light a cascade of colors that you didn't even know existed emerge, like a layered sunset in a stone. I don't know why it's so important to me, except for it's absolute beauty and uniqueness.142

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72. My favorite color is green.144

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73. My favorite food is the rare treat of chocolate ice cream. Pretty much anything that's not tuna will do, though.146

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74. I love to read fantasy. It's an escape to lives crazier than mine.148

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75. Good entertainment is a good piece of art, something that's not too abstract but still speaks from the soul.150

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76. No.152

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77. On earth, at home, reading or writing a book. On Leanonn, something with Nathan usually, like perusing some forest or sitting by the lake.154

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78. Anything that reaches a level of sarcasm or ridiculousness wacky enough to beat my own sense of humor.156

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79. People that are so narrow minded that they would call anyone a freak. 158

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80. I would probably turn into a hawk and spy on people I knew. I've never been bored or spiteful enough to do this yet, but it's a tempting idea.160

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81. I draw, and just let my emotions flow on the paper. 162

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82. I'm pretty spontaneous. I'm too disorganized mentally to ever think of a plan, and I don't have enough motivation to follow through on one.164

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83. I can't stand it when people repeat themselves when you don't acknowledge them, or ask 'what?' when you tell them something they don't want to hear. 166

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84. I don't have a routine. Life in Leanonn is too unexpected. Everyday brings something new, and the only things that are the same are waking up and going to sleep, and sometimes even those things are scattered.168

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85. My greatest strength is my ability to hide any weakness.170

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86. My greatest weakness is my love for Nathan.172

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87. I would be more strong when it came to Nathan. But when he talks to me I melt into his eyes, and I can't think properly. I let myself become too vulnerable when I'm around him.174

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88. I am introverted. 176

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89. Definitely messy. 178

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90. I'm very good at hiding my true feelings around most people, writing, and drawing. I'm very bad at hiding my true feelings around Nathan, making decisions, and following through on anything.180

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91. Yes. I may not be perfect, but there are a lot more things that can be wrong with me. In fact, being slightly egotistical, there isn't much I'm unhappy with myself about, except for a few regrets.182

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92. I was forced into this adventure. I stumbled into it completely by accident and it swallowed me whole. I try to explain this to others, but they tend not to listen.184

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93. I want to be able to look back on my inevitable decision and be happy about it. 186

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94. It's unclear. Down one road, I could be fighting in an immense war here, with Nathan at my side, or I could be starting college at home, my mom proud and glad that I'm her daughter. It all comes down to my decision to stay or go.188

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95. Fighting for Leanonn, at the same time as Nathan is killed.190

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96. I would apologize to Sasha for getting her into this mess, do one last thing with Nathan, whatever it would be, and if possible, go to my mom and say goodbye to her properly, thanking her for all she's done to me. I have to get rid of my debts.192

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97. For never backing down.194

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98. Tenacious, hardened, imaginative.196

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99. Reserved, odd, unchanging.198

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100. "My own head, please don't make any choice you wouldn't regret. I know you have to make one choice, but give it some thought. But don't over think it. Just do what you think is right, please. I know whatever decision you'll make it will hurt me, but if you choose the right choice maybe it won't hurt so much. Then we can both be at peace, finally."200

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