One day when I was at home, a parcel was left at the door I opened it and there was a box. Inside there were puzzle pieces. I didn't think much of it and left it at that. Later that night when I was in bed and I heard noises outside my window. Scared, I decided to solve that strange puzzle to keep my mind off of the spooky noises. As I was putting it together I realized that the puzzle was of my bed room scared and yet curious I continued to solve the puzzle. Until I noticed that I was in the puzzle solving a puzzle and that there was a tall dark man outside my window holding a knife!! Totally freaked and dazed I looked slowly up at my window and there he was the man from the puzzle looking at me!!1
I screamed as loud as I could and ran into the lounge and tried to tell mum what had happened. She completely ignored me like I was invisible or something. That was when I realized she COULDN'T see me. Horrified I ran outside only to feel a sharp pain right in my back I turned expecting the man from the puzzle. As soon as our eyes met, i fainted. 2
The next day i woke up and realized that i was no longer home. I was in a strange, dark room. As i looked around i noticed the tall, dark man from the puzzle staring at me with tension in his eyes. Scared, i ran. A window was cracked open. With no time to spare i opened it, and jumped out not noticing that we were five stories up. I landed in the grass. With my head bleeding, I stood up and ran towards the car that was sitting out front. It wouldnt start. I went to open the door when the man with the knife stood there. I quickely locked the doors and cried. He suddenly dissapeared. Then he reappeared on the roof of the car and took the roof of the car off. Dead. I ly there as a dead, swollen thing. I cant even be put under the category of a person.
A contest entry
- Halloween Contest for Kids - 14 and under by whichcraft.
175 points, ended October 20, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
How did you like the story? It took forever to type but i did it! Dont be too harsh please! xD
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i didnt enjoy iy as much as i hoped
why udnt mom c er????
+ u totally put puzzle lots in that 1st prgraph.
I ToTaLlY wud NT PlAy A PuZzLe ThAt SPooKed mE
innit
that is just common sense
rightous maan
U cUd TotaLy ImProVe The PlOT mAkE iT thike And GooEY
MOOR DISCRIPTION
Sum SpeLLiNg mIStakEs
Moi pet HATE
( I SOUND 80 THERE)
but Wot Eva
Pweees dont Take Ths harsh!!!!!!!!
u Shoould Re WRite in more discription.
Georgiaz
xxx
p.s. pleaase dnt b insultd
im only 12 n dnt want to b mean
Innit
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Good and creepy, a puzzle killed you? I don't think the girl or boy would know that a man would be hidden inside. Instead of always using the same words to describe the man, you could describe him more detaily, like how old do you think he is? His appeareance? What clothes was he wearing? THe plot of the story was good though. But there are spelling mistakes and some puntuation is gone. In 'a parcel was left at the door I opened it and there was a box.' It should be 'a parcel left at the door, I opened it and there was a box'. In 'my bed room scared'. It should be 'my bedroom, scared'. In 'and there he was the man from'. It should be 'and there he was, the man from'. And also I should be capital. Congradulations on your win of a silver trophy.
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wow that was really a good story
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This was an interesting story. It seemed like you were describing a distorted dream but it was good enough for me to keep reading. There were a few sentence structure mistakes but they can be easily fixed. I liked how you put the story together so keep up the good work. Thank you for entering the contest.
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not much suspence, even though I'm not that big on horror.
You should describe some more on why your mom couldn't see you, and what the man with the knife looked like. Or like all scary movies, start the begginning off slow and normal, then just as slow ease into despair.
Loved the plot though.....
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