Butterfly

Music connects us all; I had heard that before a million times. I had never put it into context before though, and I never would have believed just how connected everything is, and how our music could show us that...
The street was coming up a lot faster than I thought it would, the air flying past me, whistling in my ears, and I could still hear the beat of my heart. It was louder than anything. The last thing I saw was Lance, his face serious, even sad, staring down at me from the building we were both standing on a minute ago. It's an interesting story how I got caught up there with him...1

The street, which was supposed to impact with me and smash me with the dangerous weapon of gravity, disappeared. I fell right through it and landed in total darkness. I was on a ground, on a wall, ceiling... It felt like I was everywhere and no where at the same time. I could see everything around me, but that everything was nothing, so I couldn't see anything. I tried calling out, only to find out I had no voice...
And as suddenly as it had started it was over. I was on the street I was supposed to be on, standing there, as bewildered as ever. I looked around, the only light coming from a flickering lamp post overhead showing a dismal alley between two brick business buildings. I was frantic; what had happened? Why was I alright, standing here like I had walked to this place instead of being thrown off a building? I kept searching, looking, here a pile of splintered wood, there a couple of torn flyers blowing in the wind that funneled down the alley… The adrenaline that was coursing through my veins was ebbing away, and only frustrating confusion remained. I looked up, to where Lances face was last, and saw nothing.
And then I looked down at my feet.2

“Ohh, the pretty man! You’re the first one to arrive here… Welcome.” The eerie whisper had come from the darkness of the alley I was standing in, as had the random little man it belonged to. He had explained what had happened to me. As I stared at my own body, in a pool of blood on the floor, he had told me I had almost passed on, but that I wasn’t yet ready to go. So this is what it felt like, being dead…
As I was staring at my body, my own existence, whatever I was at the moment, started to burn all over. “I wouldn’t stare to long if I were you pretty Carrot man. It’s like finding a cut you never knew you had. It only hurts once you’ve looked at it.”
The creepy little man told me this, hunched over, rags of many different clothes hanging off his body, laughing in fits of hysteria. He never told me his name; In fact, he only said one more thing to me: “This is your world now Carrot. You can pause, fast forward, rewind… You are in control. Now stop the others from joining you.”
I never even bothered asking why he called me carrot…3

*****4

I stared over at the table where Lily sat, obviously not talking to me at the moment. She sat with some of her friends, leaving me to sit with my friends, Dave and Alex, something I hadn’t done since Lily and I started dating. We had met in art class a couple weeks ago. She loved to draw and I loved to write, we had the artistic ambition in common, so we hit it off.
It felt like I was missing a piece of me. Just two weeks, and she already had a good hold on me… I slid in next to Alex, my usual spot before my two week excursion, and without a word started chomping down on an apple. “Well look who decided to show, what’s up man?” Alex sat a good foot above me even while slouching, with brown curly hair that he straightened every morning. The black t-shirt he wore had a picture of my favorite band on it. “Nothin much, where’s Dave?”
“Still waiting for lunch. Man, math class was a bitch, don’t you think?”
“Wasn’t really paying attention…” I said through a bite of apple, and it was true. I had spent most of the day thinking about how I had yelled at Lily when she didn’t deserve it…
“Holy… Look who decided to grace us with their presence. Where the hell have you been, man?” Dave had finally showed up.
“Hey man, sorry, I’ve been hangin out with Lily…”
Alex nodded his head. “I heard about the fight. People are saying they heard it all the down your street…”
“Yeah…” I didn’t want to talk about this…
“Man, cant you see he dosnt want to talk about this?” Dave punched Alex in the arm. “Dude, you know what you need? A party; and a club just opened up down town.”
I protested of course, I would’ve loved to just go home after school and spend the weekend sulking in my room, but my reasoning told me Dave was right. It was because of this that I found myself crammed between Alex and Dave in the back of Jordans car, With Ashley, Jordans girlfriend, in the front with him, music blaring from the cars speakers, creating an environment where I didn’t have to look or talk to anyone. I enjoyed the small amount of sad aloneness I was allowed before we hit Starlight, the new club. Lily wasn’t with us…
I wondered around the club, vaguely noticing the darkened room with green and blue spot lights, strobe lights, a big dance floor, no Lily…
I absently followed my friends around, getting a drink here, going to the bathroom there… Listening to the band.
A slow, sad song started to play, one that fit my mood perfectly, and as the melody started crashing through my body I looked up at the band, something finally peaking my interest. I looked first at the Guitarist, ripped clothes draped over his body, playing a melancholy tune that the singer was syncing his voice to. I looked back at the drummer, and stopped. There was something about this girl that I couldn’t quite grasp. She played a fast, soft beat on the drums, her face turned toward the ceiling, a green light moving over her throwing her features in and out of proportion. I saw her and everything stopped. Then it exploded. She wasn’t very attractive, but I felt a greater pull to her than anyone else in my life. I almost dropped to my knees, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
She looked so sad…5

*****6

I gasped for air, throwing myself up into the air, into the clouds. I had been dreaming; dreaming without sleeping. This was going to take some getting used to. I had already figured out that the normal rules for Earth no longer applied. I could move up or down, up into clouds, where I was now, or into the earth; through house walls, anything. I could go as fast or slow as I wanted, merely thinking of a place and being able to be there. The creepy man had said to stop the others from joining me. He would probably go after the cheerleader next…
Just thinking about her and I was standing right there, right behind her. She was sitting on her bed in yellow pajamas, getting ready for bed. A notebook was in front of her, on the bed, and she was sucking on the end of a pen, thinking about what to write next. The world changed, it suddenly blurred around the edges, like looking at a memory. I saw a brief glimpse of Kate, the cheerleader, dressed in her uniform, getting ready for cheer practice. Lance came up to her, handing out flyers for some school dance…
And I was back in the room again. The once empty paper in front of her was now filled. The beginning read, “Lance came by today, he wanted to ask me to the dance…” Before I could read on, she closed the journal, put it in a drawer, and left the room. For some reason I needed to see what was in that journal, I could feel a pull to it coming from my gut. I reached for the journals hiding place, and my hand went right through the dresser. 7