Thy Eternal Summer (9/15)

They made their way back to base camp, arms filled with canned food. Jack dropped his in a pile near the back of the Jeep; Jezebel set hers down and began arranging the acquired cans in a neat pile. 1

Jack listened to the countryside. He could hear the song of birds, a somewhat pathetic sound in the rearranged order of things; if the earth could be so wantonly destroyed, what was the point of the birds to be singing and carrying out their lives of quiet instinct?2

A sharp pain flashed across the back of his head. He saw Jezebel's grinning face, inches from his own. “You coming, city boy?” She ran off, up the side of the nearest crater. Jack ran up it and pushed her in. She rolled freely down, laughing.3

“You hit hard,” he called.4

She sat up at the center of the crater, her hair a mess, eyes flashing wildly. “At least I don't take cheap shots at people from behind.”5

He climbed down the side of the crater, splaying his legs and waving his arms so he wouldn't fall. When he got in arm's reach, Jezebel grabbed him by the ankle and yanked. He fell face first into the dirt.6

“That's what you get, city boy,” she said. He got up to see her scrambling up the side of the crater. He grinned, and scrambled after her.7

When the sun was high in the sky, they dropped their armfuls of cans at base camp and Jezebel got out a dangerous looking multi pronged instrument. 8

“You stay away from me with that,” said Jack. 9

She grinned and picked up one of the cans. Looking him in the eye like a tiger stalking its prey, she applied the instrument to the lid of the can, which slid off. She tossed the can and a spoon to Jack.10

Jack looked at the gray ish interior. “Oh,” he said. “I think being murdered would have been more pleasant.”11

She grinned, opening her own can. “Serve you rabbit once, and it spoils you for anything else?” she said.12

They spent another hour or two hauling cans, before deciding that they had quite enough, and probably wouldn't even be able to take home what they did have. So Jezebel began arranging the cans into a massive concentric pyramid, and while she did so, she and Jack talked. Their conversation was aimless, wandering over their lives, their homes, their family, their friends. Jack never mentioned Ava, though she was still there, a little needling pinprick in the back of his mind. He didn't know if he was still supposed to be loyal to her, if he owed her anything still. How did you fulfill the kinds of promises he had made, if you were both dead? For Jack was dead, for all intents and purposes, and Ava... well, she had presumably been in town when that missile hit.13

But was she dead? He found himself unable to be sure. His parents were dead; he knew this for certain, somehow. He had worked it out, perhaps, in the dark recesses of his mind, but it was yet too awful to think on consciously. They worked in the industrial part of town, and surely if the enemy were to target anything... He shook his head. It was indeed too much to think about. But Ava... He had a feeling about her. Just a feeling, but it was enough to disturb him. 14

Ava...15

He called to her, in his mind. There was no answer, never an answer, just an echo of pain and loneliness and desire. She was out there, somewhere, alive or dead, and she was without him. There was something wrong with that. But... what could he do?16

“Hey! Head case!” Jezebel's sharp shout brought him back to reality. 17

He looked around. “What? Sorry.”18

She gestured to the west, where the sun was setting in a flare of pink and red and dark gold. “Sun's going down. It gets cold at night. It would help to have a fire.”19

“Er... yeah,” said Jack. He cast about. The wood was there... now, what did you...?20

She stood watching him, hands on her hips, head shaking in dismay. “Tsk, tsk,” she clicked. “You don't know how to make a fire, do you?”21

“Um...” said Jack, wondering how he could stall and figure this out. What had that Jack London story said? Oh, that guy had died. Well, nothing for it. “No,” he said. “I don't. They, er, didn't have a lot of kindling lying around the school. Probably a good thing, too, come to think of it.”22

She rolled her eyes. “All right,” she said. “You come over here.”23

Gently and patiently, after the initial bombast, she taught him how to make a fire. It helped when you used a lighter, apparently. But he learned the subtleties of stacking and piling, of kindling and building up, and a thousand other things, his clumsiness matched by her graceful skill.24

Took out a roasting stick then, and punctured a can of processed meat with it. She gave it to him, and had him hold it over the fire. She did the same. They took the cans off the fire after a while, and she used the can opener on them. The meat, or faux meat, tasted better hot, he discovered.25

After supper, she got out sleeping bag and laid it out. Deciding he felt useless, Jack beat her to the back of the truck and got out his own sleeping back and laid it down. He lay in his sleeping bag and looked at her. She was staring at him pensively, but then shook her head, seeming to shake off whatever she had been thinking. 26

“Well, goodnight,” she said.27

“Goodnight,” Jack said.28

She didn't go to her sleeping bag immediately. She knelt by the fire and bowed her head. The dimming fire cast a soft orange light on her face, throwing it partly into shadow. It looked very pretty, Jack thought. He thought he could see her mouthing something. Suddenly, he knew what this was. He'd heard it described as a primitive backward hate instilling superstition, and as one of the most beautiful acts a human being could engage in: this was prayer.29

He watched, fascinated, as she spoke earnestly to this entity, this great super being in the sky, this dead and dusty wall. He wondered how she could have complete faith that someone was hearing her, someone caring about what she had to say or thank for or confess or request. Could there really be a Supreme Orderer, with all the disorder evident on every front? How could you believe in Him, if he had the power to reach down and right all the wrongs but didn't?30

She opened her eyes, and Jack quickly lay down and pretended to be asleep, hoping she hadn't seen him staring. He closed his eyes, and suddenly realized that his old room was gone. There was no appliance in the wall above his head that would make soothing noises in time to his breathing, nothing to read his body patterns and make sure the air temp was right and the bed soft enough.31

The ground was hard under him, solid and unforgiving. He rolled around, but no matter what position he lay in, something hurt him somewhere. Then the cold started creeping in. He pulled the bag tight around himself, curled up in a ball (fetal position, he remembered from school), and still the cold wrapped itself slowly around him, cold fingers scuttling down his back. He began to shiver. 32

After a while of this, a shadow fell across him. He knew, because the light from the fire reflecting on his eyelids was dimmed.33

“This is ridiculous,” came Jezebel's voice. Slowly, Jack opened his eyes. She was standing before the fire, hands on hips, looking down at him. “I mean,” she said. “I assume you're cold? I'm cold.”34

Jack nodded. “Yeah, I'm freezing.”35

“Right,” she said. “Move over.” Jack sat up and moved aside, a bit shocked, as she climbed into the sleeping bag next to him. He was still making up his mind what to think when she turned to him, raised a finger, opened her mouth, then closed it again. Finally she said, “You behave and I will.”36

Jack nodded, deciding this sounded as good as anything. Besides, they would probably freeze otherwise.37

They arranged themselves as chastely as possible while still being close enough to benefit from the collective body heat. It felt good, to have her pressed against him, he had to admit. Something about it felt wrong, though, as well. He didn't have time to think about that, before he drifted off to sleep...38

“Wake up, love birds!” the voice was entirely cheerful, entirely too cheerful (Jack thought) to wake up to. Then he remembered his position, and his eyes opened like a shot. He found himself looking into Jezebel's face, which was grinning at him. It was framed by her dark hair, which was soft and wavy and glowed a little in the morning light. As he became more aware, he realized they were fairly close together, their arms more or less wrapped about each other.39

He turned his head, looking up wards, and saw Will grinning and shaking his head.40

“Just a good thing I found you two,” he said. “And not Peter. Or... God forbid... Blake.” He shuddered, as if this were one of the worst things he could think of. 41

Jezebel rose, dusted herself off, and glared at her uncle. “It was for survival, uncle Will. There was nothing backward about it.”42

“I'm sure,” said uncle Will. She continued to glare at him. “I'm serious. I believe you. But Blake or your father wouldn't, just because of the look of the thing.” He extended the mild chastisement by glance to Jack.43

Jezebel shrugged. Jack could tell by the look on her face that she knew her uncle was right. 44

“Quite a haul you've got here,” said Will, looking at the stacks of cans. “You do this all by yourself?”45

“I made the pyramid,” Jezebel said proudly. Her smile was little girl-ish, Jack thought, and very pretty.46

“I see,” said Will.47

They ate breakfast out of cans, and began loading some of the others into the Jeep. Blake drove in as the sun began to climb in the sky. Will looked at him inquisitively, but Blake just shook his head.48

When they finished loading the Jeep, Blake looked at Jack. He seemed to be taking his measure. Jack returned the gaze, wondering what the other was thinking. Then Jack said, “I don't suppose you ever learned to shoot a gun, back at the city school.”49

Jack would have laughed had Blake not looked so serious. Jezebel did laugh. “No,” Jack said. “I don't suppose I ever did.”50

Blake reached into the Jeep, and Jack could see the black gleam of a rifle barrel inside. But he was interrupted by Will. “And he's not going to learn now.”51

Blake turned on him. “Why not? He's going to need it, if he wants to stay alive.”52

Uncle Will gestured to the land around them. “Those guns shoot a long ways. Your parents are out there somewhere. Also, there could easily be the type of person out there who would take gunshots as an imminent threat.”53

“Enemies, you mean,” said Blake, a bit annoyed, it seemed. 54

“Yes,” said Will. “Enemies, of various kinds.”55

Blake looked disgusted for a minute. He looked at Jack again. “Fine. We won't learn you to shoot yet, but we'll learn you to fight.”56

He came and stood in front of Jack, feet planted, shoulders squared. “Hit me.”57

Jack, deciding it would be better to follow orders than to question, pulled his fist back and swung for Blake's chin. The other dodged aside, grabbed Jack by the arm, and twisted it behind him. Jack ended up bent double, biting back a cry for mercy.58

“Now,” said Blake, still holding Jack's arm behind his back. “Why did you swing for my jaw? Why swing for my face at all?”59

“Because...” Jack held back his first thought, That's what they always do in movies. He somehow didn't think it would impress Blake. He tried thinking of why it was always that way in movies. “Because it's your most vulnerable spot?”60

“Wrong,” said Blake. “You swung at my face because you only seen fights on WV, and never actually been in one.”61

Jack found this hard to argue.62

“The face isn't too bad a spot to be hit, unless you're worried about your looks,” Blake said. He looked closely at Jack's face. “Nah, you got nothing to worry about.” Jack didn't see the humor in this, but Jezebel laughed. “No,” said Blake, continuing on his instruction, “The places you want to go for are here, here, and here. Also, if you're desperate, and fighting a man... well, I'll let you work the rest of that one out for yourself. It's a pretty cheap tactic, but hey, if it helps you stay alive...”63

Jack nodded. 64

Blake spent the afternoon teaching him fighting techniques. At one point he instructed him on mindset. 65

“When you're in that hand to hand fight,” Blake said. “You've got to remember. You dredge up all your old resentments, all your old fears, anything that's ever bugged you or annoyed you or especially anything that's ever pissed you off, and any thing you're mad about, and any time your daddy and mommy gave a sucker to your sister and wouldn't let you have one, any mortal enemies or arch rivals or guys who stole away the girls you had a crush on... anything at all like that, dredge it up, and use it, take it out on whoever you're fighting. Got it?”66

“Yeah,” Jack said.67

Blake grinned. “Good. Hit me.”68

He did, aiming for the solar plexus. Blake took his fist and flipped him on to the ground. Blake's head appeared above him.69

“Good job,” he said, and grinned. “You're getting better.”70

“Great,” muttered Jack.71

Blake continued to teach Jack to fight—most of which involved what Jack considered abuse—until Peter and his wife returned to camp. They walked slowly, and dropped their back packs heavily by the fire. 72

“Find anybody?” Will asked softly, as Jack and Blake came and sat. 73

Peter answered quietly, “No one who we could save, or who would let us save them.”74

Will's face fell, as did Blake's. Jezebel's didn't seem to change perceptibly, but she looked enormously sad all of a sudden.75

“Let us offer a prayer,” said Will. 76

He got to his knees, clasping his hands together. The others around the fire bowed their heads, one by one. Jack put his hands together and bowed his head, last of all.77

“Dear Lord,” said Will. “You are the God of heaven and earth, the creator of all living things. You give life, and you take life away. You have seen the innumerable ages of the earth rise and fall and pass away and repeat themselves. You have seen the struggles of men, great and small. You have seen how the mighty have fallen, and how the pathetic have struggled along as ever. 78

“And yet, you still interest yourself in the concerns of each one of us, and extend your loving care through natural means and supernatural. Help us then, Lord, we pray you. Watch over us and all those who have lived through this horrible attack. And use the six of us, your instruments and willing servants, to provide your care to those who need it. All this we ask in your name, in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.”79

The others said “Amen,” Jack last. There was silence, and Jack caught several side long glances cast in his direction. He knew what he had to say, but he didn't know how to say it.80

Typical, it was Jezebel who brought the thing out in the open.81

“So Jack,” she said sweetly, far too innocently, “Do you have a judgment to pass?”82

Jack snorted, laughed a little. “I... Well, I know what I'm supposed to say about you people. At least, according to the government, or... or the government that was, I suppose. According to them, I should judge you, and harshly. I should think of you as backward farm folk, caught up in the same superstitions your ancestors were for generations, the same superstitions that caused so much of the world's famine and drought and natural disasters and war and death and hate. 83

“According to the school I attended, you are the type of people who are opposed to progress, in favor of raising children without guidance from the type of people who are trained in how to raise children. You are the type of people who believe in allowing children to think for themselves, perhaps even—supernatural deity that ignorant people believe in forbid—allowing people to control their own destinies.84

“But let us look at other things this system has taught me. I have been taught to avoid, say, works of great literature, to read (if at all necessary) for fun, mindless tales of mindless people mindlessly throwing themselves in front of danger. Or, if I actually wanted to improve myself, to read of stock futures or crop outlooks or the latest debate among the economists. But never, never read works of literature; those awaken feelings, desires, thoughts of better ways of life. They make you dissatisfied with your lot, and make you question the authority of those above you. And we can't have that!85

“This is also the system that taught me that I was crazy, even though I didn't know it, even though I was perfectly happy the way I was. That I did not know myself. An old man who could barely remember my name knew me better than I knew myself. 86

“So forgive me, if I suspend judgment. What am I to trust from this institution, if thus far it has betrayed me?” He fell silent. “Sorry, that was more than I meant to say. More than I ever think I've said at once, actually.”87

There was a great silence around the fire then. Each stared into it, thinking his or her own thoughts. Jezebel, smiling proudly, reached over and squeezed Jack's hand. After a while, when all had eaten their canned suppers, they set about making up their sleeping sacks. The men all slept together, and Jezebel and her mother slept in the same sleeping bag. Jack lay awake a while, lost in thoughts and feelings and sensations. So much was new, so much changed, it was hard to comprehend it all, impossible to think of it all at once. 88

Soon, the even breathing of the men around him lulled Jack to sleep.