Numb and Broken

1

Lying in bed,2

Feeling so numb,3

I can’t take away the pain.4

Drowning in memory,5

Falling and fading,6

Seems like that’s all I do,7

Running off to you,8

Chasing my freedom around the courtyard,9

I have no place to go. 10

It wasn’t my intention to see this aggression.11

I didn’t mean to run away from you.12

I was afraid,13

You had my heart,14

You tore me down.15

I trusted you,16

You broke me apart.17

I just wanted to be like you,18

But now there is nothing left to say19

I have nothing left to do.20

Comment you fiends! comment or I'll shank your grandma!!!!!!!!

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Living.Disaster
    October 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i loved it my favorite lines were;
    "You Had my Heart
    You Tore Me Down"
    Awesome!


  • SquirrelRaiders
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Touches so many phases of life

    You are freaking brilliant. I can't believe how freaking amazing this short piece is. I read it three times fast and then again over and over but much slower, chewing over each line and at first there could be one common theme but maybe a lot of different things mixing in... like this could be about a lost lover but at the same time, it could just be LIFE hitting you where it counts and everything falls on your head at once and WHAM! You are on the freakin' floor. You're numb, but at the same time, so much going on beneath the surface. Bravo--love this poetic piece. Beautiful in its telling, so eloquent, so gripping, so intriguing.

    Thanks for sharing your writing.

    • Asonine
      October 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Wow, your guys' comments mean alot to me, you don't even know, I really, for a long time, thought I sucked eggs, but I guess going through shit like I have.... kind of helps, glad I could give you a few words to mull over.lol.

      Thanks


  • DaniCM
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW you are amazing! i've ben there i know that feeling! readign these words took me back. you are really good! congrats
    -Dani

    • Asonine
      October 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Cool, glad you liked it, thanks for the comment, glad you could relate, I don't see the point in writing if I'm the only one that knows what I'm talking about.lol.


  • TNTrouble
    October 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ahhh...I can completely relate to the words and emotions that you express here mate. Your writing is very intense and good and speaks to Me...just as if you were in My head. For some reason this part really touches Me...
    You tore me down.
    I trusted you,
    You broke me apart.

    • Asonine
      October 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Good, I'm glad. Good to know my work is noticed and liked. Though I don't know if being in your head is creepy or not.lol. JK, no, but thanks, mate. thanks alot, nice to know someone is listening and feels the same.


  • MsAlee gold member
    October 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very sweet and emotional. I know the feelings well.

    • Asonine
      October 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Aye, I hear a lot of people do these days. Thanks for the comment, makes me feel like someones actaully listening when I know someones read my work.

1 - 10 of 10