Only Bout Hey 8...

Friday afternoon into the evening:1

The rain was falling and falling hard. Tiffany sat in the veranda and watched it come down. She was bored. Extremely bored. Outside was dark and gloomy. The heavy rainclouds made the four thirty sky look like a six thirty. Her aunt called for her.2

Tiffany sighed and ignored her. She pulled her jacket tighter and pulled the hood over her head. Opening the gate, she walked out into the downpour. She walked to the top of the gap and across the pasture towards the main road.3

"I can tell you int got nuffin to do." a fella told her as she came up by the standpipe. Tiffany looked at him and shook her head. He motioned for her to come under the shed. He was wearing a black t-sirt and a long white jeans pants. Tiffany went to him but kept near a post so she could lean on it.
"So part you live?"
"Nowhere around here." Tiffany answered as two other fellas came under the shed.
"Wait, Jason, this you new woman?" the first one asked.
"No I ain't like you, Jesse." Jason answered.
"No you a whole lot worse." the second one cut in.
"Man, yogi, go and fu-"
"Wuheva. So wa the lil red name?" the one called yogi asked.
Tiffany shrugged,"I may not have a name."
"You int got nuh name, nuh-"
"That you need to worry 'bout." Tiffany finished.
"You always this difficult when talking to fellas??" Jesse asked.
Tiffany shook her head,"I'm naturally this difficult."
"You man gotta line you up proper yuh." Jesse said coming to stand beside her. Tiffany rolled her eyes,"So why you assume that I got one?"
"I would expect some one as good looking as you to got a man."
"Oh hooo I see." Tiffany said, dully.
"You still int tell me part you live, yuh know." Jason said, interrupting Jesse. Tiffany looked up at him,"Jackson"
"Shite." the three of them chorused.
"Wa you doing out hey?" Jason asked
"My aunt."
"Safe." Jason said,"Part of Kingsland you now come from?"
"Crystal." Tiffany answered looking up just as a van was going down the road.
"Wait...Jason she from by you," Jesse said looking up to watch what Tiffany was looking at.
"So I see."
Tiffany watched the van that had stopped at the top of the road. She had to blink twice when she saw Simmone, a girl who went to school with her, stepping out of the van. She and Simmone didn't speak much because she was always with Danielle, Ava and Katrina. A smile came across Tiffany's face as she remembered when Elizabeth's best friend Simmone cursed her for starting a rumor about her.Her smile deepened when she tried to figure out why some one living in St. Andrew would be in Christ Church.
"Jasonnnn, you woman..." Jesse said. Tiffany raised a brow as she stared blankly between Simmone and Jason.
"Shut up, Jesse." Jason said.Simmone ran under the shed to avoid getting wet. She stared at Tiffany then at Jason.
"Wuh I in' know that you know she." SImmone said to him.
Jesse smiled and sidestepped over to Tiffany,"The two of wunna does talk?"
"Me and Jason or me and Simmone?" Tiffany asked raising a brow.
"You and Simmone."
"Basic conversation." Tiffany answered. Jesse shook his head,"Andre, come here."
"Wappen?" the one called 'yogi' asked.
"You tell Jason bout she?"Jesse asked, nodding to Simmone. Andre glared at Jesse,"Fuh wuh? If he wanna get he self involved with school girls he can go ahead."
"Boy I would hate to got you as a friend then." Tiffany said. Andre looked at her,"Shut up."
"My man, show some sorta respect to the girl yuh." Jason said. Simmone looked at him,"Wait das you woman that you getting on so fuh she?"
"You look, behave you self or go to hell long part you live."
"You gine off?" Simmone asked hands on hips.
Jason looked at her,"I ain't gotta justify my actions to you yuh know. You could carry your arse and go to hell long back home."
"Look wuheva. We gine cross by you or not?"
Jesse choked back his laughter and and shook his head.
"So you wanna walk through the rain?"Jason asked becoming frustrated.
"So wait you int walk through the rain?"
"I look foolish?" Jason asked ignoring her and walking through the rain.
Tiffany rolled her eyes as she watched Simmone call after him. Jesse smiled at her.
"What?" Tiffany asked.
"Nothing." Jesse answered.
"What?" She repeated.
"Nothing."
"Keep telling me so then." Tiffany said convinced something was wrong.Her phone rang. She looked at the caller Id, when she realised it was her aunt she pressed the ignore button and placed it back in her pocket. The rain held up for a while and Simmone took the opportunity to go after Jason. Andre also left, leaving Jesse and Tiffany alone.
"You int leffin?"Tiffany asked looking across at him.
He shrugged and shook his head,"For what and leff you by you self?"
Tiffany rolled her eyes,"You making it sound as though I can't take care of myself."
"I ain't trying to make it sound na' way babes."
"If you say so." Tiffany said glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. He wasn't a bad looking fella, Tiffany noted. He had a pair of sexy eyes.. hazel from what she could see. He was muscularly built and wore a blue jeans and a gray t-shirt.
"So do you really got a man?" he asked when she looked away. Tiffany shrugged,"You said I should got one cause of how I look so I assume so."
Jesse sighed,"You still int answer my question."
"Yes I got one."
"Want another?" he asked, watching as she stared across at him to see if he was serious. She shook her head when she saw he was.
"So you gine tell me join the waiting list?" he asked head on a side.
"If you wanna but um int na' guarantee."
"I hear you."

Author notes

yeh well this dun get read aredy but i jus putting things in order and such and such. I int see na reason to change nain but i might change sain so look fa that too.

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Comments


  • Raeyle
    October 8, 2008

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    Sorry people i gots to mek myself known and i disagree. Cause I think she was writing exactly how bajan people normally speak. And we do mix bajan wid english all the time, at school, at work amongst we selves, when talking to family and what. We talk rank bajan when agitated, when trying to make a point to tourists or when in de alley or by de shop.
    So I think it works but hey DAH IS MY OPINION.

  • Brian Balzer
    October 7, 2008

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    Here I am LuckyK.

    On your prompt I came to create an account and found all I needed to do was log in because this is another sister account with All Poetry. Now even though it may make it even more difficult for folks like me to read I'm going to agree with cadburry. If this is your native dialect and more slang would sound more natural for everyone you know I'd use it. Then if you chose to you could put a short glossary or translations for some of the slangs you don't think the general readers would get. dah ca mek sense! Doesn't that mean that can make sense? Or does it mean that mixing the slang with the proper english can't make sense? Either way I think she's right. Not everyone is going to take the time to read it anyway. Those who do will probably be willing to check a cross reference to clarify something they don't understand. To be honest at first I thought you were attempting to write in another dialect and wanted to tell you that some spots didn't sound right because the english was to crisp compared the other dialect. But I didn't want to step on your toes. Now here's where I was left wondering because she says he can join the waiting list but there isn't any guarantee. He says he understands. I guess sometimes that is where the chapter ends but I was left wondering is that where the conversation ends? Did she leave and go back to her aunts house or what? I guess it just seemed like a big jump to the next chapter where she was dealing with the boyfriend issue. Does that make sense? I definitly think you should keep going with it. Bye the way thanks for prompting me. Now that I'm here I think I going to post a story I wrote a long time ago and enter it in a new writers contest. Why not right? Take care.


  • Cadburry melted
    October 7, 2008

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    my girl ya got cant take of myself missing the care. i tryin my best to read this in our dialect. u cuddah put in lil mo slang n stop tryin ta mix it wid proper english. lol. dah ca mek sense! thats bajan dey. but u this bashy yeh. we gine cross by u or wa! bup bup

  • Raeyle
    October 6, 2008
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    lol. Girl I could see this happening. This sound so i aint know half van rattish fuh real. And u got de men down to a t ya dread. Cud see u did bored, but still I wud like to see where u gwine go wid dah. Sound cool doh doh.
    Doan kno wha u be worrying bout.
    pshshs gal