Graphic Sleep-Chapter Three: Travel On Electricity

Forget everything.1

For all has been redefined. My disease it nothing more than who I am. He is my trademark, he is my system, he is the disease I believe is final. Perhaps, I am just a ignorant soliloquy, a whore that stinks. Deep into low self-esteem..My excuse is: It's all a metaphor. And your solemn gestures upon reading this really piss me off. Relax and laugh a bit.2

A change in subject:3

You know the sound a door makes when it's quietly opened..that creek of secrets. Sneaking into dark complicated troubles that everyone hides from or runs into. Whether you are escaping the sanitarium or just a reason for a fresh breath of air?4

This time, I am out for good. This time is final. And along came no one. My disease, I believe, stayed behind. So I thought?5

As I creeked into a sneaking secret of disappearing, I found the lawn was dry. It was not green and it did move with that slight breeze. Everything I had thought was true was now false. It was as if it were that quote. "The grass is NOT greener on the other side." And surely, it was all a bit creepy and weird. One step, came the landing of my naked foot onto a dry weed, it stabbed me with a remembrance that, I am actually leaving. As each strand prickled in between my toes the more I came aware of what I was doing. Yet, no matter how much I wanted to go back and dream of the world I am in right now, I could not, at all, stop myself from continuing into the darkness.6

I found a spotlight. Where I chased off the cats so I was able to stand alone. That spotlight was nothing more than a street lamp a few feet from my house, on the corner of the sidewalk where everyone has walked. I remember now. This was the side walk that the mail man walked. Of coarse, I have not seen him in years. Or maybe I no longer notice him as much as I use to. It's when you get so use to things that you are no longer interested in noticing the new details. It's more of a daily schedule to see such things. You see it, but you don't. I call this..blindness. I am blind..and so are you.7

Awe, what the hell am I doing? Walking bare foot in the middle of the street?8

I am telling you what I am doing so that my thoughts seem more of value..I cannot tell you what I am wearing for I am not looking down at my clothes..yet. I could only speak and think, remember that I am blind and so are you at the moment. When the time comes, we will open our eyes to see who is there and what disease we were clenched into.9

For now, I think I will stand here in this spot light and wait for a spark of missions to give me a great work of exploring. And when it comes I will move on ward..or maybe backwards.10

He is noble and I am too. Since that is so, I can stab myself with bravery while it stings with slavery. He is my drive of creation.11

I thought I left him behind but it looks like he is coming along.12

I created him in oblivion's tumor.13