Chapter 11
The Insiders2
{Logan}3
I am lost.4
I know this city by the back of my hand, yet these walls and alleys are alien to me today. I feel like I’m a rat in an experiment, being forced to run through a maze in search of food. Only it isn’t food I’m searching for. 5
I speed around another corner just like all the others and am relieved to finally see something familiar. My heart rate immediately slows. It is my friend.6
I greet the mech by raising my hand. This is a sign of trust in the City, because on all our palms is the sign of the Insiders. There are people who treat artificial intelligence like slaves or tools. But I grew up with them. To me they are equals. 7
They’re designed to look like people anyway. They have two legs, two hands and faces like us; they’re just made of metal instead of flesh.8
I expect the mech to return my gesture with its own, but it just stands there. Frowning, I stare into the lenses that are its eyes. There’s something different about this mech. What is it? The mech moves its arm as if to touch its chest, but the shuddering metal limb jams before it can. I step back uncertainly; it looks as if it’s about to explode. 9
I mutter a string of words incomprehensible to normal people to the mech that should make it shut down. But it doesn’t listen. Mechs are always obedient. What’s going on?10
The lenses flash with an unsettling image of human eyes for a second and the machine trembles more violently. Its joints clatter and creak against the strain. I know there’s nothing I can do and that I should run before the mech hurts me, but I just can’t move. My eyes are glued to its chest. 11
The metal plate is turning black and burnt. The mech is by now shaking rapidly. There is a loud, high-pitched sound as its chest suddenly bursts open. I should be yelling or screaming or running away like everyone else would. But I don’t. I wish I did.12
The image burns into my mind, burying itself in me like an insect so that I’ll never be rid of it. Inside the mech’s chest amid computer chips, threaded with wires and steel, beats a bloody human heart.13
“Logan!”14
I can’t move.15
“Logan!” I’m kicked in the stomach. “Get up!”16
Warily, I open my eyes. Jonn is shaking my shoulders so hard that a sting of pain shoots through my neck. I push him off of me angrily. Satisfied that I’m awake, he growls one word, “Outsiders,” and I’m out of bed in a flash. He disappears out the doorway, loading his gun as he goes. I quickly throw on a shirt and a long dark jacket over my sleeping pants, grab my handgun from beneath the mattress on the floor, put my earpiece in and follow him outside, careful to seal my door before leaving. The Insiders have no need to steal, but if a bunch of Outsiders have managed to get into the City I’d better not take any chances.17
Outside I can see exactly what has happened. My home is on low ground, but this just gives me a good view of the other side of the City’s tall dark buildings on the rising ground. Stars dot the hill where people have left lights on. But I don’t need to look any further than the small orange blaze near the West wall. You can always find Outsiders wherever there is any disturbance or destruction.18
I jump onto my bike and start the motor, which makes a hissing sound as it starts to hover. I shift it into gear and lean forward in anticipation of the sudden speed. Soon I’m whizzing through the streets in the direction of the West wall. Anyone I pass would probably see nothing more than a white light shooting by. I love my job.19
Even in the quiet backstreets of the City where I live, people walk safely and freely. This harmony is the reason why Outsiders are always trying to get in. But if we did let them in, the streets would no longer be safe anyway. Outside the walls there is nothing but barren land where the savages fight amongst themselves. That’s why the City was built; to keep the better people safe. I realise how wrong that is. There’s definitely something wrong with the idea of leaving most of the population outside to survive on their own, but what else can we do? This is the only place left that is safe; we can’t risk it all. I spin around the corner into a long, narrow street. It’s dangerous to ride so fast through here but it’s the most direct route to the West wall.20
Before I reach my destination I see another bike coming toward me from the end of the street. My earpiece beeps twice and Jonn begins speaking. “Fancy seeing you here.” The two of us shoot past each other but he continues speaking. “There are a lot of them this time. About twenty outsiders all got past the wall somehow, which is supposedly impossible. They’re crafty, mate. That fire is where a General and his companions were meeting. Needless to say, they’re dead now. Think I’ll get a promotion?” he asked wryly.21
“So we’ve been betrayed?” I ask, though it’s not really a question.22
“Just be careful,” Jonn warns needlessly. “I was sent back because I’ve been injured.” I’m surprised. There’s no pain in his voice. Then again, Jonn is like that. “The mechs are holding up ok,” he continues, “but it could be better down there. Do us a favour and pull one of your miracles out of your arse, would you? If this fight lasts too long the Insiders will become unsettled, and that’s the last thing we need.”23
Jonn is stating the obvious. I know what to do. It’s the same thing I always do. When Jonn says ‘miracle’ it really doesn’t mean I’m particularly special. I just work well with the mechs. And so I should, considering my main job is actually to control them, study them and keep the technology up-to-date. I forget that it’s my turn to say something.24
“Logan?” 25
My bike takes me in an upward slope through the widening streets. I’m at the hill, so I’m not too far away from the wall now. “Go get fixed,” I say. “I’ve got this covered.”26
My earpiece beeps twice. I blink my short dark hair out of my eyes; it’s flicking in my face. It’s kind of important that I’m able to see whilst riding this bike because of the speed I’m authorised to go at. It doesn’t help that I’m not wearing a helmet or any protective gear. But I’ve never felt the need to. 27
Still a few streets away from the fire, I’m about to reach a corner when a disembowelled mech is thrown from behind the wall into my path. I slam on the breaks and let the back of my bike spin out a bit so that I reach the corner facing whatever is waiting for me. I already have my gun aimed with one hand.28
There is no one in the street. Cautiously, I look around. I’m yanked off the back of my bike by the shoulders and thrown to the ground. Someone takes my gun. Three rugged men with haunted looks in their eyes stand over me with guns pointed, one with two because he took mine. “Don’t think we weren’t waiting for you,” the one with my gun says in a gruff voice. But one of them, the somewhat softer looking one, is hesitant. 29
“It’s… just a kid,” he says. 30
This may be true; I’m no more than sixteen in a couple of months. Only my intelligence got me such a high rank here so fast, but I have no doubt these men are just assuming I stole the bike in an attempt to be a hero. The third man scratches his stubble. “He could serve as a hostage…?”31
The first man whacks him in the head with my gun. “No you idiot, we have to hide once we’ve finished off anyone who could give evidence against us. Taking a hostage will just get us kicked out of here again.”32
“But he’s just a kid…”33
“I don’t think he is just a kid. Look at him.” He pushes my hair out of my face with the point of his gun, but I don’t flinch. “He’s calm. Intelligent,” he says. “And he doesn’t look afraid.”34
Two mechs leap down from the roof of a building. One is partially on fire. They’re right on time. I can always trust them to come when I call. They aim their fists at us and guns pop out of their forearms. “Outsiders are a danger to the City,” they say in their tinny voices. “Surrender.” The trouble with mechs is that they’re predictable. They always follow the procedure and fight in the same way. Even if I give them specific orders they might not listen unless I tell them in their own language. The Outsiders hold up their primitive guns to shoot the mechs before they can reach us, but I hold up my marked hand so they know who I am and tell them what to do in their robot gibberish. They lower their guns. 35
The three outsiders peer down at me with narrowed eyes. I notice the orange-tinted smoke rising above the buildings not far away and know I must be quick. “You could be more useful than I thought,” the first man observes. “You’ve made them surrender, now make them help us.”36
I speak to the mechs without answering him. They assume a passive stance and walk forwards. The burning one’s shoulder is melting. The Outsiders lower their guns, an astonished look in their eyes. But the moment they’re close enough, the mechs extend the blades in their fingers and slash two of the men’s throats. I take the opportunity to snatch back my gun and shoot the last man in the head. He goes down.37
“Thankyou,” I say to them, wondering if I’m the only person who ever does so. I point to the burning one. “Find water and quench your fire, then you can help your comrade clean up this mess.”38
They make a small jerk of their heads to nod and we swiftly part ways. I get back on my bike and head to the fire. When I get there I squint in the sudden flickering light. The Brigade is being defended by the mechs as they hose down the burning building. Other mechs are coming out of the building on fire, with people in their arms. I’m surprised at how organised these Outsiders are; they’ve positioned themselves on the rooftops of adjacent buildings and the mechs are having trouble shooting them from the ground. A fireman falls to the earth as a bullet hole from a primitive gun pierces his back. The mechs are doing this all wrong. 39
I shout at them to let half of their numbers seek out the snipers on the rooves. A couple of them acknowledge that I spoke but they know that they should follow procedure and protect the main priorities. I take an impatient breath and use their language. Five of about twenty separate from the group and head to the surrounding buildings. They could probably only spare that many. I follow one of them. It recognises my help and kicks the door to the house, but it only dents the thick metal. It steps back and rams into it; pushing the door out of its hinges. 40
Inside we find two determined men aiming at us; two hostages tied to chairs beside them with fearful eyes and small whimpers. I leave the mech to do what it does best and climb the stairs up two storeys to their roof, listening to the sounds of its victorious clash as I go. Outside in the smoky air an Outsider kneeling behind a low wall with a gun spins around to face me. It’s a woman.41
She’s thin and starved, and has deep dark circles beneath her hardened eyes. She’s afraid. I freeze, not knowing what to do. Suddenly a spray of blood splatters from her chest onto the cement and she drops her gun, falls to her knees and lies still. She shouldn’t have stood up; a mech down below had shot her. Hesitating only briefly, I run back down the stairs where the mech is untying the hostages. “There’s also a body up there to clean up,” I inform it and leave the house. Outside, I see a mech and an Outsider fighting on a rooftop amid a river of yellow sparks. 42
A mech on the ground moves closer to me and shoots the man up there. Both mechs don’t even acknowledge each other; they just go back to their work. I head back to the fire which looks as if it’s gradually being quenched and scan the shadowed streets while the mechs are too busy scanning the rooftops.43
I wonder where all the human troops are. Was it just me and Jonn who came? Or… I realise with horror that the real invasion must be somewhere else. My fight is a distraction. It looks like the mechs have things covered here so I run back to my bike and press a button on my earpiece. “Sefton.” I hear two beeps.44
“What is it?” the man demands soon after. To think that I’m his superior. “Where are you? We need you down here.”45
“I would be there if someone had told me. What’s happened and where is it?”46
“Second Street,” he replies, and I hear a gun shot coming from his end. “The mechs have gone insane again. I don’t know what brought it on.”47
“On my way,” I tell him and hear two beeps in my earpiece as I start the bike and head off into the night.48
There are as many mechs in the City as there are people. Now I understand why there weren’t any more than there was at the fire. Occasionally, and more often lately, the robots of the City have had instances where they’ve gone insane for no reason at all. They have a minute or two where they do nothing and say nothing; just standing there, appearing to have shut down.49
That’s the only warning we get before they go out and destroy the place and kill any people they see. Considering we created the mechs to be superior fighters to most people, this makes them a worse threat than the Outsiders. Perhaps they were in fact the distraction so that the Outsiders could get in. But who would have the power to induce this? I think it must have something to do with some sort of radiation, but there’s so much radiation on this planet and in the City alone that there’s no way for me to pinpoint exactly what causes it.50
As I ride down a wider road, I sense the trouble ahead. I have a strange affinity with the world and the people in it. It’s not always a strong feeling, but I can often sense people’s emotions. Fights are full of fear and death. It makes it hard to concentrate sometimes while I’m fighting, but if I can sense someone coming I know if they’re an enemy or not. In this case however, I won’t be able to sense any mechs coming because they have no emotion.51
When I was young I thought everyone had this sense, but only a few years ago Jonn corrected me. I wonder still if I’m the only one, or if there’s someone out there like me. Who could know?52
The streets widen and the buildings get taller and more magnificent as I near the centre of the City. Soon the many storey, dark grey walls surround me. Second Street isn’t far away now. My earpiece beeps. “Nice of you to show,” Sefton says. I look around but can’t see him. Wherever he is, he can see me.53
“Perhaps if you were more capable you wouldn’t need me in the first place,” I argue and cut off contact.54
Something high on the wall of a tall building grabs my attention. I’m surprised to find that it’s a mech climbing the wall, like a big metal spider. It looks at me as I approach, and shocks me by releasing its grip on the wall and letting itself fall. But I’m already below it by the time I realise what it’s doing.55
The steel limbs clamp around me and I lose control of the bike, crashing into the base of the building the mech leapt from. By now a normal person would be crushed to death by the robot, not to mention the impact with the building, but not me. Seemingly frustrated, the mech extends its retractable claws into my shoulders, piercing both my black jacket and my flesh easily. I yell and, abandoning all inhibition, throw it off of me. It lands on the road, a loud crack informing me that something inside it has broken. It gets up, showing no notice of an unusable arm dangling uselessly at its side.56
“You landed badly,” I say, ignoring the blood streaming down my shoulders, the same way a mech would. “What are you doing without the rest of the pack? Bored with Second Street?”57
It doesn’t attack me. It’s probably running through its data files trying to figure out what I am and therefore what my weakness is. Funny how just yesterday I was in the labs wishing something interesting would happen so I could go running around with the soldiers. My reliable gun is fortunately still in tact on my belt. I point it at the mech. “You shouldn’t have left the pack. There’s no point in keeping a straggler.”58
It doesn’t even try to stop me as I pull the trigger, aiming for its vulnerable spot in the centre of its head. It’s unsettling sometimes the way mechs seem to have emotions when they’re berserk. With a tired sigh, I put my gun back in my belt. I’m losing a lot of blood by the looks of the red puddle on the ground. My bike is a mess and completely inoperative now. Damn it all; I’ll have to buy a new one. 59
“…Logan,” Sefton says. I didn’t even hear the earpiece beep. “You…” Crap. I forgot about him. He just witnessed me survive all that. “You’re still alive,” he says. 60
“Stay where you are,” I order. “Where are you?”61
“The roof of the shopping centre,” he replies. “I was injured, but I got the metal bastard.”62
“Do you have any other soldiers with you?”63
“No.”64
“I’m coming to get you,” I decide and break into a run to the shopping centre. I pull some aides out of my jacket pocket to stop my blood from spilling out of me, slapping the silicone roughly onto the skin. The injuries will still be fresh when I take them off but at least I won’t leave a trail of cerise behind me. 65
When I find General Sefton on the roof lying still, I see just how badly he’s been hurt. He’s lying in a pool of blood. I reach down to feel his pulse. 66
He’s dead.67
Standing up straight, I run back the way I came. I have to help the soldiers who are still alive stop the mechs from destroying the City. 68
Chapter 269
The Outsiders70
{Avalia}71
“Avalia.”72
I look up at the sound of the old man’s voice and see his frail cloaked figure standing on the hill looking out at the far away City. The dark, cloudy sky tinged with the usual pink and dull red rests on the flat landscape with the exception of the mountains casting their shadows on the horizon. I move to the man’s side. I’m much taller than he is now. It’s strange standing over someone who used to seem so big. “Yes, father?”73
He points a bony finger at the City. “One day, we will get in there.”74
I look passively out at the vast carpet of dark jagged buildings surrounded by those formidable walls and somehow doubt it. There are thousands of Outsiders who try to get in all the time, and our little troop of twenty-two starving men and women seems a little pathetic. We can barely hold up against the attacks of the other Outsiders, let alone hold an attack of our own. We travel about a bit to avoid the other gangs and scavenge food wherever we can. It’s not the best life, but life behind those dark walls doesn’t look from here to be that much greater. I wonder what it’s like. It’s cold and windy today so I pull my thin coat closer. It was once a white blanket thrown out by the Insiders, but now it’s a pale, patchy grey sack with armholes. 75
Better than nothing though. Underneath the coat all I have is my dark grey dress that comes down to just above my knees, which also is more of a sack with armholes, pulled in by a thick brown belt. I wonder what I would look like to an Insider. I’ve seen my reflection occasionally in clouded water, but it’s always been distorted by the ripples. All I know is that I have straight dark brown hair and light-coloured eyes. And that my name is Avalia. It sounds like too pretty a name for someone like me.76
When I asked my father why he named me this way he gave me a vague answer that my mother named me. Whoever that was. Without saying anything, I walk away from my father and back to everyone else where we camped. As I often do, I wonder how we got this way. If I could pinpoint exactly what caused everything to happen, could I go back in time and stop it from happening? No, it would probably happen anyway in some way or another. 77
Our history is common knowledge. No doubt it’s distorted by word of mouth, but that’s our only way of keeping a record of things these days. There are probably plenty of Insiders who can read and write but it’s a rare skill among us. I generally keep it to myself, but when I was young my father taught me to read by using an ancient book of fairytales. I didn’t see the point in learning but he said I might need the knowledge one day. And maybe I will. You never know.78
But the Outsiders, without anything else to fill their time in the evenings, have always told stories. That is how I know why we are this way. Hundreds of years ago there was a war. Of times before that war, we know very little. But we do know that life was much better before it. It’s said that there was always water to drink (crystal clear, no less – that part I’m not sure I believe) and there was always food to eat in most parts of the world. Some myths even say that instead of poisoned oceans, the water was full of salt. Strange. I can’t imagine that much liquid full of little crystals. Don’t ask me who made that one up.79
According to the legends the clouds where pure and white, and there was also glimpses of a bright blue sky behind them. Blue! I’ve only seen that colour a few times in my life. It sounds like paradise. But the war was vicious and merciless. When it was over, nothing was left pure and healthy. The few wealthy, powerful or just intelligent people in the world gathered together and built a great wall around a large expanse of more fertile land. Excluding the people left outside, they would easily have enough food to sustain many generations to come. They assumed that eventually the ones left behind would die out. 80
But we didn’t. We adapted and survived. Why anyone would bother is beyond me. Sometimes the Insiders venture outside their walls to collect more supplies or materials, but they’re stronger now more than ever with their powerful robots. No one can take them.81
I reach the camp where everyone is sitting around a small fire flickering meekly against the wind. Nobody greets me as I sit down on the soft ground. It’s not that anyone dislikes me or I them, I just don’t talk very much. I often feel somehow… apart from the rest of the troop. Or maybe I just don’t feel safe with them.82
My father returns from his feeble optimism on the hill and stands beside me. He stares calmly at Sasher, our leader of sorts. “Where are we heading next?” he asks.83
The broad shouldered man with short straw-coloured hair looks up from poking the fire with a stick. He uses the stick to point. “To the mountains. There will be some food near there and now that the other troop has left, it’s ours for the taking.”84
My father blinks away the funny look that reaches his eyes. “That means… Won’t we have to cut rather closely to the City if we’re to get there quickly?”85
Sasher looks at him from beneath heavy eyebrows. “We will go around the City.”86
Father twists the material hanging off of him in his hands. “Yes, but still… We’ll be going rather close. Do you think the Insiders will see us?”87
He shrugs slightly irritably. “So what if they do? They won’t care as long as we don’t try to get through their precious walls. Take that as a warning, by the way.”88
This silences my father. He’s satisfied with just being close to the City, or he’s disappointed, or scheming. I pull out a clump of long, slippery yellow grass and rip off the roots with my fingers. Then I concentrate on plaiting the pieces together. The world disappears as long as I can’t see it. 89
I am unhappy.90
{Garn}91
We of the City built our world around the small amount of land that can provide food. There are other places on the planet that are fertile; we didn’t leave the Outsiders to starve. Perhaps it’s cruel of me to speak this way about other people, but we can’t just let everyone into the City. This place, the last safe place anywhere, must be protected.92
“Where is he?” the General barks. “Where is Garn? We’re leaving soon.”93
“I’m here,” I smirk, making him turn around in surprise. I move silently and enjoy people’s reactions when they finally notice me. The closer I can get, the more fun it is. But the General just scowls. 94
“You should have been here half an hour ago. We’re about to open the wall.”95
“Sorry, sir,” I say half-heartedly and move away to check my bags again for anything I’ve forgotten. It’s been a while since I’ve been outside the City, and for some reason I’m kind of nervous. I feel like something big is going to happen to me out there this time. I wonder what could be so big that it would give me this feeling. Will I die out there? Or maybe I’ll blow my cover for the first time in all these years of working for the City. It hasn’t been that long I suppose. About 8 years I think. But 8 years is a large fraction of your life when you’re only 23 years old.96
Then again, my fears could be unwarranted. What happens to me out there could be a good thing. Maybe I’ll accomplish the mission. I doubt it though. When the General told me I was to find and report any suspicious activity among the Outsiders, possibly arresting certain culprits or sabotaging their efforts to enter the City, he probably just meant for me to gather information. One person can only do so much.97
After going through my bag and reasserting that I have everything, I swing the bag over my shoulder. It’s tattered and dirty like my clothes. For good reason; no normal looking person would blend in with the Outsiders. They’re savage and violent people because of their need to survive. Not all of them are brutish animals I suppose; just most. Some of the other soldiers saw it as funny when I purposely cut some shallow scratches into my cheek. But if someone looking as healthy as me didn’t look like he’d been in a fight or two, the Outsiders would know who I am immediately. 98
And when I asked the soldiers to give me a few bruises they were more than happy to go along with it. It was a bit irritating that they were enjoying hitting me as hard as they could while I stood there and did nothing, but what could I do? I did ask them to do it. They probably just wanted revenge from all those times I beat them up in training. 99
Smiling at the memory, I watch them as they listen to the General’s orders and prepare the craft to leave the City. The craft is a huge steel beast hovering a few feet off the ground. The main part of the body is structured like one of the ancient ships from before the great war, with a deck and lower quarters beneath with any cargo and sleeping accommodation there. It’s propelled forward with huge motors that push it through the atmosphere. The difference is that on basically every part of the ship imaginable is a weapon, and our design is more angular, sleek, and as a result, very intimidating looking. 100
More soldiers are waiting by the wall to trigger the machines to create an opening just big enough to let the craft through. Most of the troops here are just here to protect the place from any Outsiders who might take the opportunity of entry. That’s why there are at least a hundred mechs swarming around as well. My idle thoughts are interrupted at the sight of the general yelling at a young soldier about something small and unimportant. The soldier looks only to be about fourteen; give him a break. 101
I miss the old guy, Sefton. He was killed in the last big mech revolt. Damn robots. Something about them makes me uneasy. But in spite of that I don’t think it’s their fault that they keep malfunctioning of late. Every time the mechs go nuts, a group of Outsiders is right there to attack at our convenient time of weakness. Somehow, the Outsiders are causing the madness. 102
The new General calls me over impatiently; the craft is ready for me to board. Reluctantly I obey his haughty command to get on the ship. Following me up the long ramp is about twenty mechs, all in perfect formation.103
My bag is light. All that’s in it is what could almost pass as a tent, a little bit of stale bread (my reason for being late was that I was taking a last full meal,) a blanket, and a dirty flask of water. The water is fresh and clean, filtered through the City’s great machines just this morning. Because I live in hygienic conditions most of the time my body doesn’t handle the murky, often poisonous water of the Outside very well. But as long as I don’t let anyone else drink my water they won’t know that it’s clean. So now I have nothing that could prove that I’m an Insider. Not even a marked palm.104
Insiders have their palms marked with the letter I and a circle behind it when they’re born so that they can’t be mistaken for Outsiders. But for reasons I keep secret, and barely understand myself, I was never marked. 105
Once on the deck I greet the only other three people aboard. I’m happy to find that one of them is a guy I’ve spoken to a couple of times. I barely know him but it’s better than not knowing him at all.106
“Hey. It’s Jonn, right?”107
He grins. He’s a friendly type. “Yeah, that’s me. And you’re Garn. Did I remember correctly?”108
I nod. Looking around the deck, it doesn’t take me long to figure out where I’m going to be standing when they open the wall. A small pile of chains is waiting for me in the centre of the deck. Jonn follows my gaze and laughs. “Yeah, sorry about that. We’re going to be pretty cruel once we get through that wall in order to be convincing, so don’t take it to heart.”109
“It’s ok, I know. I’ve been on missions like this a few times now.”110
Jonn raises his eyebrows. “Really? You must be pretty good at undercover work then.”111
I shrug. “I’ve worked among the Outsiders so many times now that I know more about them than they do. That’s all.”112
One of the other soldiers taps me on the shoulder. “Sorry to break up your party but we have to get you chained up before they open the wall.”113
“Oh, sorry,” Jonn apologises and holds out his hand to me. “I’ll take your bag for now.” After I give it to him he looks at it with a raised eyebrow. “What the hell happened to it?”114
“I rammed it into the dirt a couple times, ripped holes in it and crudely sewed them back up, gave it a few stains and then left it out to dry.”115
“Ah.”116
I turn back to the other two guys. “Get on with it then.”117
They bind together my wrists behind me with a knot of chains. One of them explains that when I get dropped off they’ll leave this chain on. Their reasoning is that they wouldn’t let me go free without some sort of punishment. The idea is that I can’t do much with my hands tied behind my back. If I get into a lot of trouble they explain how I can slip out of the knot, but if I was in enough trouble to blow my cover like that, I wouldn’t need to know this to get free anyway. 118
Next they chain my upper arms to my torso using a sort of brace around my neck so it doesn’t fall down. Surprisingly, that’s it. Then again I couldn’t escape no matter how little I was restrained with all these mechs standing by. Jonn returns to my side after conferring with the mechs so they might grasp what’s happening, and a sudden jolt in the wall tells us we’re heading out. The craft edges forwards. These heavy ships take a while to pick up speed, but once they do they’re unstoppable.119
Jonn notices the chains and is amused. “They trussed you up tight, huh? Hey,” he frowns at my upturned hands. “You don’t have a… Where’s your mark? Are you an Outsider by birth?”120
“Hmm? No,” I mutter. “My parents just refused to give me the mark.”121
“Why?” he asks. “It keeps us safe.”122
“You think I’m not safe?” I ask pointedly. “My parents didn’t believe in marking people like… animals,” I say. What a total lie. I never even met my parents. There’s a blank stretch in my memory right up until I’m eight. From there I’m raised by soldiers; trained in camps with a class of other orphans. But the other orphans were lucky enough to have all of their memories. I don’t know how it happened, but those first years of my life definitely have something to do with my ability. 123
“Hey,” Jonn says, waving his hand in my face. “Forget you were talking to me?”124
I laugh. “Sorry.” 125
He looks ahead at the wall, still gradually inching open. It’s nearly completely open now. “It’s ok,” he says. “You’re a lot like a friend of mine. He follows his train of thought and forgets what’s happening at present. He stops talking halfway through our conversations all the time.”126
“Really? Who is he?” I ask out of curiosity. The craft picks up speed slightly. 127
He scratches his head and considers the question. “You might have heard of him. His name’s Logan. He works on mechs and stuff, but helps the troops out in crises.”128
“You know him? What’s a common soldier doing with a mate like him?”129
Jonn laughs. “I was lucky enough to be his roommate a year before he was rapidly promoted. I guess I just stayed his roommate.”130
“Wow,” I snigger. “It must suck to be friends with someone so well-known and powerful. On the other hand I’m sure it has its advantages.” The front of the craft crosses the threshold and the wall stays open while we go though. “Better stop talking now,” I observe. “Be as cruel as you want when we get out there; hit me if you must. The more realistic, the better.”131
Jonn says nothing; we’re now too far outside for him to acknowledge anything I say. It’s time for me to get into character as well. I look up at the wall; its width is the same as two roads. As the wall closes behind us with a low boom, I make my best longing stare back at the City. John whacks me roughly over the head so I know he listened, and I obediently look ahead. The ship builds up speed, heading out, far out, to the Outside.132
{Avalia}133
Two days of following Sasher across the plains has lead us close to the City. We’re perhaps only ten kilometres from the wall. My father seems almost insane with excitement. Perhaps he is losing his sanity in his old age. I wonder why I was born so late in his life. He’s 68, so… what’s 68 take 18? Oh of course; 50. So he was 50 when I was born. That’s so old for having children. And what about my mother? He tells me so little of her.134
We stop to rest and eat our daily rations right where we are. This place is as good as any; there are just plains for such a long way. I can’t be bothered eating now. I feel sick, so I’ll save today’s ration for tomorrow when I’ll doubtless be starving.135
I look over at the twins. They are two middle-aged, muscular women who have hated each other since I can remember. Today they look particularly irritable; eyeing each other venomously as they eat. My eyes sweep my surroundings until they stop on Sasher. He’s looking at me in that unsettling way again. Realising that I’m looking back at him, he starts to smile, but we lose eye contact as one of the twins leaps at the other. They scratch and claw at each other furiously until two of the men pull them off of each other. The attacker spits at the other and I turn away. These people are so… 136
“Look!” my father’s raspy voice tries to shout. I look up like everyone else. “The wall is opening! The wall of the City is opening!”137
I stand up slowly. “You’re… right.” We all watch in revered silence as the far off wall opens up. A strange craft drifts out and the door closes. No one says anything. We watch for a long time as the hulking black shape gathers speed along the plains. It flies faster and faster, making the grey dust come up in small plumes beneath it and in its wake despite the fact that it doesn’t touch the ground. It’s running almost adjacent to our route to the mountains. As it crosses our path only a kilometre away and suddenly makes a sharp turn. I swear I see something pushed off of it as it turns, and it speeds back the way it came.138
My father exclaims and takes a feeble step for the ship as it heads back to the City. What was the point in that? I wonder. It came out here, turned around, and now it’s leaving.139
But then I see. Something really was thrown off the craft. Amid a swirling cloud of grey dust, a figure stumbles to its feet. I squint at it. From here it looks like a man, but I can’t be sure from here. The person, whatever gender, moves through the dust and kicks something toward us. The figure continues in our direction, kicking the thing in front of it. It holds its arms above its head in friendly greeting. By the look of it, he is a male. We all look to Sasher. He looks to us. 140
“What’s an Insider doing out here?” I ask. “And why was he dumped here? It didn’t look like they were gentle with him, so he mustn’t be on their side. Do you think this is a new sort of punishment they have for their criminals? Dump them out here?”141
“Maybe,” Sasher frowns. “But they don’t have criminals. They already have everything.”142
His stubborn belief of what we’ve always believed annoys me. “Maybe things aren’t as peaceful in the City as we think,” I say. “Things can change even when hidden behind a wall.”143
No one says anything. They’re used to my saying such solemn things after all these years.144
“He doesn’t seem like a criminal,” one of the twins mutters.145
“Oh, and you can tell that from here?” I ask. How can you judge a person from one sight, let alone a sight from that far away?146
The woman scowls. “I can see his body language. He raised his arms in greeting, but if he were a criminal getting punished, or even an Insider at all, he wouldn’t be so friendly. I would expect him to have run away the moment he saw us.”147
I blink and look back at the approaching man, gradually walking toward us. I’m surprised. The woman is right. Violent as they are, I should remember these people still have brains like any other person. I’m humbled. “You’re right. Any Insider would run from us. So, what? Does that mean he’s an Outsider?”148
Sasher stirs. “I don’t know. But it seems safe to speak with him. Even if he’s really an enemy and decides to attack us he’s not going to beat all of us. We should be cautious though. Come on,” he decides and shoulders his pack, heading in the direction of the stranger. One by one we follow.149
“Maybe he can get us into the City,” father whispers to me excitedly. I don’t answer.150
Gradually we cover the ground between us and the stranger. I walk to the head of the pack so I can see him clearer. Soon I can see his clothes. They’re tattered and dirty like our clothes. But he doesn’t look weak or hungry like us either. In fact he looks quite strong and healthy, so it crosses my mind that he might be an Insider pretending to be one of us for some reason. I wouldn’t put it past them. His palm will clear that up for us; it’s said that all Insiders have a symbol marked on one of their hands so that they know if you’re an Outsider or not. It’s pretty stupid if you ask me. If you need a mark to know the difference between us, then we can’t be all that different in the first place—now, can we?151
We walk for a while. It’s weird being face-to-face with a stranger but not being able to say something. If anything, politely avoiding eye-contact is awkward. Soon we’re only twenty metres apart and I can make out this man’s features. He has short light brown hair and greyish eyes. The thing he’s kicking in front of him is his pack because his hands are chained together in front of him. He certainly looks like a criminal to me. But he seems quite casual and not at all worried about meeting us. He can’t be an Insider. He holds up his hands as if reading my thoughts, showing both his palms. 152
So he is one of us.153
Instantly the tension in the air eases. He kicks his bag again and it lands in front of us, so we stop while he closes the rest of the space between our two parties. Seeing the scabbed cuts on his face, I realise that he must only be so healthy because he fights for it. He walks smoothly and confidently, and he’s broad shouldered and strong-looking. Sasher must feel threatened. I look over and see him cross his arms.154
“Who are you?”155
“Nrag,” the stranger replies, seeming to find his own name amusing. “But I suppose my full name is Nragath.”156
Sasher nods. “Why are your hands bound? And why did the Insiders dump you out here?”157
Nrag laughs. “Funny story. My friends and I managed to get into the City a couple of days ago. But practically the moment we got in, we got caught, and… I was the only one they left alive to question. Once they got out of me how we got into their precious City, they decided there was no point in killing me after I was so cooperative… Well, I was cooperative at the end, anyway. So they decided to just dump me out here.” He indicated his chains. “This was the punishment. I wouldn’t be able to defend myself or do anything much out here with these on. In theory.”158
I frown. What does he mean by ‘in theory’? Does he think he’s so great that he can still survive out here alone with his hands tied?159
“What do you want from us then?” Sasher asks. 160
“Well, if you don’t mind, it’d be great if you could break these chains for me,” he grins. “Other than that, I’m happy to leave afterward if you wish. But if you didn’t mind, I would like to run with you. My previous gang is now dead. I can offer my skills.”161
“Which are?” our leader raises an eyebrow.162
Nrag considers the question. “I hunt well. But if scrat meat isn’t to your taste, I can also fight well. If you don’t mind my saying, your small troop could use all the help it can get.”163
“Another mouth to feed isn’t much help,” Sasher points out.164
“I just said I could prove my worth. But if you really want, I can feed myself separately with whatever I can get on my own.”165
Sasher exhales deeply and knits his brow, calculating. “Alright,” he says finally. “We have a deal. You will travel with us as defence, but essentially we work separately for now.”166
“Fantastic!” Nrag enthuses. “Now get me out of this shit.”167
“Avi,” Sasher throws me a large heavy file. “Get to work for us.” He and the entire troop immediately finds a comfortable spot and sits down, talking among themselves about the stranger. I look from the file to Nrag, then back at the file. Where did Sasher get this? It doesn’t matter. He didn’t give me this task for no reason. He knows I’ll know what he wants, and he wants more information. Sasher may be creepy at times, but at least he acknowledges my intelligence instead of assuming like most men (including my father) that I’m an idiot. I move closer to Nrag and he holds out his wrists. 168
“We might as well sit down,” I say. “This will probably take a while.”169
He wordlessly obliges and I get to work on the thick rings of metal. With so many layers, this really will take a while. Unless the knot comes undone after I just cut this first layer.170
“Avi,” Nrag says. I don’t look up. “That’s a strange name.”171
“It’s short for Avalia,” I mutter in a tone of voice that signifies the end of a conversation. I have to seem uninterested at first or I won’t get any information. No one ever wants to tell people things that they want to know. Nrag silences momentarily. 172
{Garn}173
I couldn’t believe my luck when I saw this troop from the craft. They’re perfect for this operation. There seems to be plenty of different characters here with whom I can manipulate, it’s a small troop so if I must I can fight them, not to mention they could do with my help. They witnessed my arrival so there’s no question of how I got here; everything I’ve said seems true to them, I’m sure. Another great thing about this is that I didn’t have to walk for uncertain distances in search of my first troop either. But the best part is that they didn’t trust me enough to let me join them completely. I owe them nothing, my supplies are my own, and I’m basically just here for company. This is more perfect than I could ever hope for.174
When I told them my name I couldn’t hide my amusement at my own little joke. Nrag, being Garn spelled backwards seemed to be a very suitable name. These people wouldn’t have heard of anyone called Garn, but I can’t take any chances considering the amount of times I’ve been out here now. Everything is going so smoothly I can barely believe it’s just chance. 175
And then there’s this girl. She kneels in front of me, gradually getting through the first chain. Her name is Avalia. I can’t ignore this. It could just be that her parents had a strange sense of humour, or this is just amazing coincidence, but I have to look into it. Meanwhile I have to stay in character as a typical Outsider. Avalia seems… like an unusual Outsider though, and I can’t bring myself to do or say anything very crude. Instead I make pointless conversation for a while; maybe she’ll assume I’m not very smart.176
“So um, Avalia…”177
“Call me Avi,” she replies. “Only my father calls me by my full name.”178
“Avi then. What’s it like around this territory? Is there much to hunt?”179
She shrugs. “I honestly don’t know. Only Sasher occasionally hunts, and only if he can be bothered. Besides that, we haven’t been in this territory much longer than you have. We travel about a bit.”180
“Oh.” I nod. “I guess such a small troop would have to move around.”181
“Where was your territory before you tried to get into the City?” Avi asks innocently. I know she’s trying to coax information out of me. I don’t think Sasher would have chosen her for this job if he could help it; there’s definitely something between those two. It could be one-way though. I point out across the plains with both hands and she has to stop working to look. “Beyond the mountains,” I say. It’s far enough away that I don’t have to get specific. I put my hands back down and she continues filing the chain.182
“I’m sorry about your gang,” she says quietly.183
“Hmm?”184
“I’m sorry they all died in your attempt to get into the City.”185
“Oh. Ah, that’s ok. They were all going to die one day anyway. So am I.”186
“That’s uplifting,” she mutters. 187
“It’s the truth. Wouldn’t you rather know the truth than be ignorant, even if the truth is bad?” Crap. How stupid was that? That’s gotta be the first mistake I’ve ever made on a mission. What I just said was completely out of character; I’m not supposed to be smart. What’s wrong with me? I’ll have to do better than this if I’m to stay alive. Avalia looks up at me, blinking. She stares at me for a long time. Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap. Finally she looks back down at her work. 188
“I don’t know.” 189
Avi gets through the first chain. “Maybe I’ll just be able to undo the knot now,” she says, but I know that won’t work. She struggles with the chain for a little while, frowning, but can’t figure it out. She sighs. “I guess I’ll just have to keep filing.” There’s already a whole heap of metal filings in my lap. By the end of this I’ll be covered in the stuff.190
“Tell me about yourself,” she says. “Where were you born?”191
This makes me laugh. I might as well tell the truth. If it sounds like I have secrets that won’t matter to her, there’ll be less attention on the secrets I’m trying to keep. “I have no idea,” I say. “I have few memories of my childhood.”192
“What happened to your parents?”193
I smile again. “I don’t know.”194
“Well, what happened to you then?”195
“I joined a gang, became their leader and tried to get into places I shouldn’t have. There’s nothing much to tell.” I look up at the dark red clouds, bored. “What about you? I’m sure your life has been more interesting than mine.”196
“Not really,” she scoffs. “I grew up with this bunch. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful; where would I be without them? I just feel like I don’t belong a lot of the time.”197
Why is she telling me something so personal? We only just met. A typical Outsider would be embarrassed right about now, so I laugh nervously. “Yeah… that’s um… not good.”198
Avi sends me a wry smile. “You’re smarter than you make yourself out to be. I won’t question your reasons for it; perhaps it’s a survival thing. I just don’t want you to underestimate me either.”199
I blink stupidly, immediately contradicting what she just said. “…Right.”200
“Sasher!” one of the twins stands up and points at a low hill nearby. A man who looks like a walking corpse is there, silhouetted against the sky. Avi and the rest of the gang scramble to their feet.201
“What do you want?” Sasher yells.202
The man smirks. “You’re in our territory.”203
“Our territory?” I mutter. That’s not good.204
Avi curses and throws herself back down, rapidly trying to get through my chains. I look past her and see what she already knew was there. An entire troop of about fifty gets up off the ground and makes themselves known. They had hidden behind the low hill while their scout made sure we were as helpless as we looked. Even if they look even less healthy than we do, they can beat us easily with numbers alone. Sasher clenches two fists at his sides. He knows he’s lost, and can’t think of a way out of this fix.205
“We’re just passing through,” he says. “We were just about to leave, in fact.” Everyone but Avi and I picks up their belongings.206
The thin man laughs. “No, don’t bother yourselves. Food is scarce around here, as you know. Fortunately, we believe that anything we find in our territory is automatically ours. You can run if you want, but you can’t run forever and we’ll catch up anyway. Save us some time and surrender.”207
“Yeah, like that’s going to happen,” Sasher rolls his eyes. “Does that ever work?”208
“It’s always worth a try. Well, if you won’t surrender, will you at least fight and then surrender?”209
Sasher glares at the man. Our group is no match for this one, but what else can he do? “You heard the man,” he declares to us. “Prepare to fight.”210
No one but Avi, it seems, expected this. They throw down their bags and pull out their weapons. None of them have guns, not even in the enemy gang. This is going to be a fight of blunt knives and spears. Just like cave men. Avalia is filing furiously while the two leaders exchange argumentative banter. She’s never going to get through this. “What are you doing?” I ask and pull away. “Defend yourself.”211
“You’ll be defenceless if I don’t do this,” she retorts and tries to get my arms back. I stand up and hold them away. “I thought you said you weren’t underestimating me. I can look after myself, now put the damn file down and get ready.”212
She glares at me. She knows she has no choice. “Fine.” She drops the file on the ground and pulls out a knife from her belt. “But if you die, I’ll kill you.”213
“I can’t begin to tell you what’s wrong with that statement.” 214
I have no weapon now, but perhaps I can use this chain, which is now partly hanging down from the main knot. If I die, Avalia will be dead too. I can’t let this happen.215
Chapter 3216
Above the Clouds217
{Garn}218
The enemy troop doesn’t waste any time once they realise Sasher is stalling them. They scatter in amongst us haphazardly, cutting down anyone in their path. What’s the point in killing us? Perhaps they want to eat us. I’ve heard of troops who’ve become that savage, but I never actually believed it. Avalia and I do nothing but stand and watch for a few seconds; for now we’ve been overlooked because we’re outside the main pack. But it’s not long before a rabid man, foaming at the mouth sees us and attacks Avi. I guess he didn’t like his chances better against me.219
I step in front of the girl and he thrusts his knife through the knot of chains between my wrists accidentally. Using his own momentum I pull him forwards and to my side, whacking him on the back. He makes a satisfying ‘oof’ sound as he hits the ground and I kick him in the head just to make sure he doesn’t get up for a while. I spin around and find that Avi already has another two attackers. I let her fight the woman; it wouldn’t feel right if I did. I loop my chains around the guy’s neck and kick him twice in the stomach before twisting the chains just enough to break his neck. He goes down.220
Avi’s shoulder has a shallow slit in it now but she manages to stab the crazed woman upward beneath the ribs. It’s a strange sight because Avi looks so delicate in comparison to the solid woman. Never underestimate Outsiders.221
The next thing I know, four people have decided to attack me at once. I flick the end of my chain at their eyes and attack them with my feet and elbows until they hit the ground. I take someone’s knife and throw it through their skull, which is awkward when my hands are tied. Kneeing the last one in the stomach, I break his neck on his way down. Spinning around, I find some old guy has a knife to Avi’s throat. He grins, showing only two crooked teeth. I hesitate for a moment, but I quickly take a knife from the woman trying to attack me from behind and throw it at the guy’s head. 222
Avalia seems to understand that I’d prefer not to fight chicks and wordlessly takes my attacker for me. Her coat is on the ground now and the cut on her shoulder has bled in little zigzags. Out of the corner of my eye I see a man throwing a long blade at her while she’s busy with the woman; I lunge to catch it in my chains. Instead of slicing through, it rebounds off and falls to the ground, so I pick it up. I hold what looks like a sabre with both hands for balance, and the man and I run at each other. I leap over a victim crawling in the dirt and land just as our blades meet with a thin ringing sound. It seems he had a set of two identical blades.223
We spar for a minute, but he has the upper hand due to experience with these sabres and due to the fact that he can strike wildly with one arm, leaving the other free. He moves forward suddenly and slashes horizontally, missing me by centimetres. I take a hasty step back and trip over something, so I use the movement to flip myself backward so that I’m directly beside our campfire. He foolishly follows and lands on my sabre blade. I spin, ready for more.224
“Stop right there.” I turn to face the thin man from the hill, who is smugly aiming a gun at me over the fire. 225
“You have a gun,” I say, surprised. I wish I had been allowed to bring one. “Better be careful,” I say. “Bullets only last so long. You’d better not waste any.”226
“Exactly,” he replies, cocking the weapon. “Don’t make me waste this one.”227
I look around me and realise the area is silent. The soft ground is churned and littered with bodies. There is only a dozen of my troop still alive, and the ones that are this fortunate are kneeling in the dirt in a line with their wrists tied with straggly rope. I look at the gun holder who seems to be the enemy leader. I can’t escape no matter what I do. He will kill me. Submitting, I kneel where I am between Avi and Sasher. The campfire is so close, the heat radiating off of it is burning my face. The thin man looks pleased and lowers his weapon.228
“So,” he begins, “you started off with 22 and now you’re down to 13. That’s a lucky number, you know.”229
Sasher spits blood on the ground in front of him. “Lucky for whom?”230
The man looks at him briefly and laughs. “You know, what bothers me,” he says, ignoring the question, “is that we started off with 58 and now we’re down to 28. Now, how can that be?”231
I glance at Sasher beside me and we exchange a look of mutual respect in the knowledge that we both killed about ten, and that the rest of the troop only killed ten collectively. 232
Good ole’ Sasher. After spending such a short time with them I was already beginning to like this troop. If things get too ugly here I’ll have to fly. But what about Avalia? I sense her on my other side. I could take her with me, but what would she say if she knew what I am? And she would resent me from taking her away and not saving her family. Besides, she may not even be the person my farfetched suspicions say she is. Then what would I do? Abandon her?233
I can’t just leave her here with these cannibals. And they’re cannibals for certain, I realise, as the enemy leader explains to each of his prisoners why he’s not going to eat them. In the next minute or so I have to think of a plan. 234
{Avalia}235
I kneel in the dirt by the fire next to Nragath listening to this horrible conversation. The enemy leader is explaining to everyone that he let us live for various reasons. For Sasher, Nrag and most of the others, it was because he wanted their strength among his troops. I was disappointed for some reason when I was told all they wanted me for was because I was attractive and not because I could help their gang in any way, but what was I thinking? I’m grateful to be alive no matter what the reason. Besides, it’s a better reason than my father is getting; he is only alive now because no one wants to eat him.236
“Old meat is dry and tough,” the thin man explains. “Rest assured, if you get to be a hindrance we can always kill you later.”237
A cry leaps unbidden to my lips. I feel many eyes on me. The enemy leader sends me a curious smirk and I lower my head so as to avoid any prolonged interest. Thankfully he continues his victory speech after only a moment. I exhale silently and look over at Nrag’s chained wrists. If only I’d filed them faster before these people came, perhaps he would have fought better and we wouldn’t be in this position at all. I just didn’t see the need to hurry before. There is never any reason to hurry in this still, slow world. Guilt pulls at my heart. Was this my fault? 238
I suddenly realise that the long hanging end of Nrag’s chain is resting in the fire, beginning to glow with the heat. I quickly look away so as not draw attention. I won’t hinder him again.239
The thin man behind the fire is telling us how he succeeded so easily, just like a typical villain. Do all arse holes have loose tongues? I think wryly. I wish I were brave enough to say it out loud. But I’m actually surprised at what he says. He reveals to us that for some time now, one of the twins was feeding them information. The woman leaps to her feet at the sight of our hateful looks. “You lot should be grateful! I made sure the lot of you would be spared! Nragath, especially, is lucky he drew so much attention to himself because I was never able to tell this gang he was here.”240
I don’t think these people really payed much mind to whom she said to save; I think we’re only alive because of our own doing. I blink as I notice that the other twin isn’t in the line of surrenders. Ah. The body is behind us. “You didn’t even save your own sister…?” I ask quietly.241
“No!” she spits. “I didn’t want her to die.” She jabs a finger in the general direction of the enemy. “They killed her!”242
“How were we supposed to know which one was her?” a tall man yawns indifferently. 243
The one remaining twin’s eyes bulge disbelievingly. “She looks exactly like me!! Come to think of it, what if she were me? You wouldn’t have known the difference. Would you have cared?” she demands the leader. He stares coldly back at her for a long, long time. Horrified, she sinks back to the ground. The leader releases her from his stare to examine his nails. “Yes… Well I’m afraid there is something else you should know. If we’re to keep all these people in our gang, we can’t have a traitor in our midst, can we?” The twin looks up suddenly, fear distorting her features for the first time I’ve ever witnessed. “It’s your own fault, you know.” A strong-looking man with a dirty beard approaches her calmly from behind with a wide, rounded blade. “You brought this upon yourself.” The man stabs her in the back. She dies instantly, bending face-first in the dirt. 244
So now there are 12 of us left. The enemy leader turns back to his prisoners. “Welcome to our troop. If you want to live, you’ll be cooperative. I’m sure you’ll detest eating human meat at first but in time, when you’ll realise there’s nothing else to eat, I’m equally sure you’ll come to like it.”245
Out of the silence, everyone is surprised to hear a laugh from Nragath. He looks the leader in the eye, making him uncertain. “You’d think so, but…” He leaps to his feet and turns, throwing the by now red-hot end of his chain in the eyes of the man behind him and kicking him in the head as he screams. He looks back at the leader while the man collapses behind him. “You can’t make me become a cannibal.”246
The shocked enemy gang surges into motion and runs at him. Before they get to him he reaches down, takes a knife from the body behind him and throws it to Sasher. The moment the group comes near him he swings the chain in their faces, making sure the metal doesn’t touch him, and flits out of the way before attacking again. The leader stands contemptuously behind the fire while his gang fights. Sasher stands up suddenly and stabs one of the unsuspecting men in the back, pulling the knife back out and heading into the throng. I watch the frenzy from where I am, wide-eyed like a child. 247
The enemy leader rolls his eyes, mutters something inaudible and before I know it, he’s hauling me to my feet. He holds me by the neck with his arm and holds his gun to my head. I gasp a mouthful of his body-odour. 248
“Hey, idiots,” he shouts. No one notices him. “HEY!” At this, everyone stops to look. Sasher and Nrag push their way to the front of the pack, and stop when they see what has happened. 249
“Avi,” Sasher blinks stupidly.250
“Avi, huh?” my captor asks. “That’s her name? Well now. Aren’t we in a bit of a pickle then? I can’t shoot both of you, and the truth is I’d rather not kill you. But I can kill poor Avi here. Don’t think I won’t do it.” The two men exchange a glance, as if the other is supposed to know what to do. “So now I have the upper hand once more,” the enemy leader continues. “I’ll let her live if you two surrender properly and come peacefully. Our gang really isn’t that bad, you know. The way you struggle, you’d think we were devils.”251
“You are devils,” Sasher mutters.252
“Pass me your knife,” Nrag says to him after considering the sky for a moment.253
“Why?”254
The arm around my neck tightens its grip. “Hey. What are you planning?”255
Nrag frowns. “What do you…? Where I come from, in order to surrender officially the one who starts the fight must lay down a weapon to signify this.”256
“Where do you come from?” Sasher asks suddenly.257
“Way beyond the mountains.”258
“Where I come from,” my captor interrupts, “you don’t need to hold a knife to surrender.”259
“Without surrendering officially, I won’t be your inferior and I’ll consider this battle still on,” Nrag argues. “Don’t be paranoid; it’s a sign of weakness.” Without waiting for a reply he takes the knife from Sasher, holds it up harmlessly between two fingers, and the arm around my neck relaxes somewhat. Nrag bends to put down the knife and pauses to look at the leader. Faster than my eyes can follow, he flicks the knife at us. I scream and close my eyes. Specks of warm liquid spray the back of my hair, and the heavy arm around me drags me down with it.260
We hit the ground and I pull out of the thin man’s grasp. A knife sticks out of the side of his forehead above two frozen eyes. Sasher takes the gun out of his hand and points it at the group of listless cannibals behind us. “Good shot mate,” he tells Nrag as the man helps me up and supports me. I’m not hurt, but I feel weaker than ever after that little brush with death.261
Sasher is mildly irritated to find that the troop of about twenty enemies still hasn’t left. “I have the upper hand now,” he says. “My advice to you is to leave us the hell alone. Even with just us we can beat you and I won’t hesitate to use every one of these bullets; I’ve survived quite well without a gun all my life and I don’t think I’ll become dependant on one now.” The group looks around uncertainly. “That means get lost!”262
Finally they run back over the hill and away from us. Sasher lowers the weapon.263
“I wonder if that’s the last we’ve seen of them,” Nrag says to no one in particular. I gently push him away and stand up on my own. I feel like an idiot now for being so pathetic. Outsiders face death all the time. Nrag finds a knife on another body and moves to cut everyone’s ropes. So there are just twelve of us now. Only two women have survived including me, and ten men. If we looked pathetic before, we look pitiful now. The area is littered with bodies though some of the enemies are just unconscious. I can’t wait to get out of here.264
“Are you ok?” Sasher interrupts my thoughts.265
“Oh. Yes. I’m alive, aren’t I?” I step through the mess until I find where I left my coat. It’s even dirtier than before, but at least there’s no blood on it. I shake it out and put it on. Then Sasher and I search for food and supplies, and everything else dropped. My knife is old so I discard it and take a sharper-looking one from the ground. The sun is setting by the time we’re all ready to leave, and I ask if we’re going to bury the dead.266
“Of course not,” Sasher laughs. The gun is now safely in his belt. “Who has the time?”267
“But the moment we leave, those people are going to come back and eat all these bodies. Would you want that to happen to your body after you die?”268
He considers what I said when Nrag pipes up. “There are plenty of things that we disagree with, but it’s not always our choice. Those people chose to be cannibals in the knowledge that if they ever died, they too would be eaten. If we must, let’s save our own dead. What do you think?”269
It’s a good compromise. We don’t have time to bury so many people singularly, so instead we dig a shallow grave, pile them all in there and cover them in dirt. Hopefully the cannibals won’t notice.270
So then we’re on our way again to the mountains.271
{Garn}272
It seems I’ve gained Sasher’s trust from that fight with the cannibals alone. By now my cover of ‘idiot’ is completely blown and I may as well be myself. At least I’m playing a foreigner, so my behaviour will be overlooked. The gang finally stops travelling halfway through the night and everyone gratefully sits down where they are. Some of them can’t even be bothered putting up their tents so they lie down where they are with their tents draped over the top of them for warmth.273
Sasher comes to speak to me so I stand up to meet him. My wrists are still chained because no one’s gotten around to helping me, but I really don’t care. 274
“I can’t guess where we’d be now if it weren’t for you popping up out of nowhere today,” he says awkwardly. “It’s good to have someone else capable around here too. Anyway, I was going to give you the gun as a sign of my trust but as it turns out there was no ammunition in it. That dick head was bluffing the whole time. I don’t think even his own gang knew he was in fact unarmed all that time. So then I was going to throw it away but I figure it might be useful for me to bluff with one day. So I guess all I really need to tell you is that I trust you; so don’t fuck it up. Wanna join our gang properly?” He holds out his hand. I shake it.275
“Thanks for that,” I say, “but with all due respect I’d like to stay apart from the troop. I’m not a great lover of responsibility and commitment only makes me uncomfortable. It’ll be much easier for me to work with you if there’s nothing official involved. Do you understand? No hard feelings.”276
Sasher looks slightly perturbed for a second there, but quickly changes his mind. “You’re a weird guy, Nrag.”277
I laugh. “You have no idea.” I indicate my chains and say, “I’m going to go get Avi to finish filing these for me. It’ll be nice to stretch my arms freely again. I’ll see you tomorrow. To the mountains, right?”278
He nods as I walk away. No doubt he’s going to search my bag now. But he won’t find anything incriminating in there as long as he doesn’t drink from my flask.279
I find Avi sitting on her own with her own flask, cupping the cloudy water in her hands and scrubbing her hair with it. A dim lamp sits beside her, and now that Sasher’s gone to sleep it’s the only one on. She sees me and continues what she’s doing. I sit down. “When you killed that guy I got blood in my hair,” she explains. “It’ll be a couple of days before we come to a place we can clean ourselves properly according to Sasher, but I don’t think I could stand to have blood on me for that long. I should clean the cut on my shoulder too, come to think of it. Do you want any of my water?”280
I look blankly at her flask. Unlikely. Liquid that only gives Outsiders a slight tingle on the skin but it burns like hell for Insiders. While we locked ourselves in the City to be safe, these guys adapted and are now stronger against the poisoned earth than us. I’m an unusual case though; some things that would kill normal insiders are nothing to me, and other things that are fine for them are agony for me. I’ll wash when we get to wherever we’re getting to in a couple of days and pretend it doesn’t sting, but for now I’ll avoid it. “No thanks. Once you’ve done that I was actually wondering if you could finish getting me out of these chains.”281
“Oh I forgot all about it!” she says and immediately puts away her water. Pulling the large file out of her bag she explains, “It took me ages to find it in the dirt, but here it is.”282
“You know you can finish what you were doing first,” I tell her.283
“No, I should have had this finished long ago.” She shuffles forward and takes my hands, filing quickly and smoothly. “I’m beginning to think I’ll have to file through every single layer instead of being able to undo the knot.”284
“You’ll be an expert at this by the time you’re done,” I say humorously. “Remind me to ask you for help next time I’m behind bars.”285
“You say that like you’re planning to be behind bars.”286
I shrug. “I’m not planning on it, but it’s a possibility in my near future.”287
Avalia frowns. “What do you mean? Are you planning on trying to get back into the City? Haven’t you learned your lesson from last time?”288
“I have learned a lesson; that’s exactly my point. I know what was wrong with my last plan and I’m quite sure I can get in again.”289
She exhales impatiently. “Don’t say that too loudly; my father will hear.”290
I decide it’s best to let it go for now. I wonder what she’d say if she knew I was going to take her with me. 291
The plains are quiet now, other than the sound of Avi’s filing. I’m getting another pile of metal dust in my lap. A thin breeze moves between us; I look up at the dark sky and think of home. Is the City my home?292
“You look at the sky a lot,” Avalia observes. “It’s always covered in those poisonous clouds so you can’t see the stars or the moon or the sun. What on earth could be so interesting up there?”293
I cock my head at her question. “I want to go there,” I decide.294
“Go to the sky?” she scoffs. “You want to hit those clouds and die? Not even the Insiders bother making high-flying machines anymore because they just burn up in the clouds.”295
“But above the clouds, I’m sure it’s beautiful.”296
“Above the clouds?” Avalia pauses to look up into the darkness. “How would you know?” she mutters and goes back to her work.297
“Have you ever seen the stars or the moon or the sun?” I ask.298
“No one has since before the war, hundreds of years ago.”299
“Well I want to.”300
She shakes her head. “You’re very strange, Nrag.”301
This makes me laugh. “That’s the second time I’ve been told that tonight.”302
“I’m not surprised,” she smiles. 303
I look around for something to talk about. “You’re lucky to have such a good leader.”304
“Sasher?” Avi asks. “He’s ok.”305
She’s caught my interest. “You don’t think much of him? He seems like a good guy.”306
“You haven’t known him for as long as I have,” she replies. “There!” she cuts through the chain and tries to pull at the knot again. “By the way,” she says quietly, “thankyou for saving my life today.”307
“No problem. Sorry I got blood in your hair.”308
Chapter 4309
Sanctity310
{Logan}311
I sit on the floor in the labs pulling at the coloured wires in a mech’s head. This is one of the ones that went nuts a few days ago. Supposedly I’m supposed to find the ultimate answer to our problems in here, but I don’t think it’s anything internal. Something on the outside is causing these strange things to happen, and I refer to the word ‘outside’ with a more specific meaning than you would think. The outsiders may be savage, but they’re still people with the same intelligence and wit as the rest of us. I wonder if anyone suspects that the outsiders are working with a traitor. Any idiot could see it. 312
I replace the wires and circuit boards in their correct places even though this guy is only going to the incinerator. Once the bout of insanity is over, the mechs go back to normal. Unfortunately the Emperor doesn’t want to take any chances. It’s all fine and well for him; he lives apart from the rest of the world. What a waste of our dwindling resources. This mech will be melted down and recycled, but it still uses our factories and manpower to do this. I don’t put the head back on its body; if I did, it would restart and I wouldn’t have the heart to send it to its destruction. 313
I turn the head around in my hands so I can see its blank metal face. “May you not be turned into a toaster.”314
The sound of laughter makes me look up. Jonn has just walked in, his hands in his pockets. He bends to walk beneath a mech frame hanging low on the coldly glowing ceiling, and moves a heap of wires out of the way to get to me. The labs are huge but I always like to confine myself to small corners. I watch, holding my tongue, as he moves clumsily through my fragile tools.315
“Do you ever sleep?” he asks when he finally reaches me, finding a clear place on a table to lean on. “It’s nearly midnight.”316
I put the mech head down beside me. “Hmm, I just wanted to finish what I was doing.”317
“Are you done now?”318
“I am now.” I stand up, stretching my cramped shoulders. “How’s your injury?”319
Jonn pulls up the bottom of his shirt to reveal a bandage covering the side of his abdomen. “Well, it wasn’t as bad as you were expecting. It’s just a bit of a scrape.”320
“From a bullet,” I scoff. “A bullet with impact explosions. I swear when you showed me that night I caught a glimpse of your intestines.”321
“Don’t overreact,” he laughs. “With a little artificial skin and a healthy donation of blood, they stitched me back up nicely.”322
“I’m amazed you were able to move after just a couple of days.”323
“Drugs, my good man. They’re a fucking miracle.”324
We don’t say anything for a while. Clearly we both have stuff to think about. What’s on most people’s minds at the moment is the mech attacks, becoming more and more frequent. We’ve had one every week for the past three weeks. “I’m hungry,” I say, breaking the silence. “Got any food with you?”325
Jonn looks up. “Nah, sorry. I don’t exactly carry sandwiches around in my pockets.”326
“Come with me to the shop then.”327
I carefully pick a path back out of my corner and we leave the labs. We get in the lift and have to wait for others to join us; in such a tall building there are many floors and many people. We get through the foyer and leave through the main doors. The cool lights of the City fade to nothing in the face of the complete darkness above us. Once, there was a black-out on a rare night that the moon was full and bright and the clouds were thinner than usual. Families gathered on their rooftops to stare up at the blurred shape of the moon through the grey. It was a once-in-a-lifetime sight. 328
Jonn and I move along the sidewalk, through the maze of streets until we come to the closest 24-hour café. By the time we’re looking through the glass at cakes and pies, Jonn decides he’s hungry too. We throw down a pie each and leave.329
“You know,” Jonn says as we head to our street on foot, “I heard you almost got yourself killed in that fight with the mechs. A mate of mine told me he saw you throw one off you, and this was apparently after you crashed into a building. According to him, you should have been dead but you just got up and kept going.”330
I freeze. Someone else saw that? How many people saw? I quickly maintain my composure. “I sound like a superhuman. I hope you don’t believe that crap.”331
He laughs. “No, of course not. The story’s obviously been exaggerated quite a lot. No one believes him, but I’m sure something a little less fantastic still happened. One thing he told us was something difficult to lie about. He said the mech stabbed you straight through both your shoulders. He was adamant because he saw the blood ‘streaming’ down your arms. You never told me you got hurt.”332
I shrug. “It wasn’t that bad. I shoved some silicone on the injury until the fight was over, and then I got healed up fine that same night.”333
Jonn shakes his head, smiling. “You and your miracles…”334
“How is it a miracle?” I ask. “I told you it wasn’t that bad.”335
“No, it’s just you’ve had so many close shaves in the years I’ve known you; you don’t even bother trying to protect yourself, and you always pop up fine.”336
“I’m just lucky, I guess.”337
“Lucky’s an understatement. Someone’s looking out for you.”338
I look ahead and wonder if that’s true, but perhaps a different ‘someone’ than Jonn is referring to. We’re nearly home. “So who was this idiot spreading insane rumours about me?”339
“No one you know. I guy I train with; Mathieu. His family’s French in case you didn’t guess, but he speaks English same as the rest of us. Why do you ask? Gonna go rough him up?” he asks wryly.340
I roll my eyes. “No, I was just curious.” This Mathieu guy doesn’t sound like he’s made an impact. I don’t have to worry.341
We get to our street where our one-room homes sit side-by side. Our accommodation is more like two of a string of rooms on the street all joined together like cabins. At least we all have our own front doors. When I was on my own and didn’t have the money to support myself years ago, Jonn took me in and got me a job with the troops. He didn’t ask me anything about my past, and to this day he still doesn’t. He’s in his twenties so we could easily get away with saying I was his brother. At my new job I displayed a certain talent, especially with the mechs. From there I was promoted a lot, I sidestepped into a different field… and here I am today.342
I place my hand on my door to unseal it with my print, and groan as I remember what I’m doing tomorrow. “I have to go report to the Emperor in the morning…”343
Jonn unseals his door and pauses in the threshold. “Quit saying that like it’s a bad thing. I’d kill to meet the Emperor.”344
“You wouldn’t if you knew him.” Muttering goodbye, the two of us go into our homes. I lie on my bed, still in my day clothes and stare at the ceiling. 345
The next morning I haul myself to the bathroom, shower, and change into formal clothing. I’m wearing a black shirt with pinstripes. The design is apparently trendy according to a woman I sometimes speak with at the labs, with an open collar and buttons running diagonally from the left of the collar to the left pectoral for no particular reason. I just got it because it was comfortable, but I’d never say that to her.346
I seal my door and make the millionth phone call to the insurance company, asking for a new bike. I lost it because of a work hazard, so work should cover it, right? Apparently not. I’m just sick of walking everywhere or taking public transport for the past few days. I want my bike back. I walk to the train station, on hold for the entire time, until a few minutes after I’ve sat down on the train. The woman on the other end of the line says she’ll send in my request, but that’s what they told me all the other times. Sighing, I hang up the phone and look out the window. A mech comes around asking for tickets, and I hand it mine to scan. 347
Soon I arrive at the main station and head off to the tallest building in the City, the Triumph; the one where I’ll meet with the Emperor. He’s governing us quite well, not that he makes a lot of decisions—he’s more of a figurehead, but there’s something about him that doesn’t feel right. Or maybe his personality just irritates me. I’m not sure.348
After speaking briefly to the receptionist in the lobby, I take one of the large elevators to the 8th floor. Leaving the lift, I greet the two large men standing in front of the doors.349
“I’m Logan, the Head Mech Specialist. I’m here to meet with the Emperor.”350
“We know who you are,” one mutters as they push the big doors inward for me. 351
Nodding to them, I stride confidently up the long dark purple carpet to the gold table, where the Emperor sits with his advisors and the Prime Minister. The room is lit on both sides by the thick windows covering the walls, revealing the City below. The floor is polished black marble where the carpet hasn’t covered it. I bow smoothly and wait for the Emperor to speak.352
“Welcome, Logan. It’s times like these when the importance of your profession is hi-lighted, do you agree?”353
“Yes, Highness,” I reply, bowing my head. I look him straight in the eye, because it unnerves him. Few people have the temerity to do so, but my skills are irreplaceable. The Emperor is a tall, slim man with pronounced cheekbones and narrow, pale eyes framed by dark brows. His black hair is strewn with stray silver strands, the same as his short beard. He’s covered in rich folds of material with gold stitching.354
“Let’s get to the point then,” he says. “Do you yet know the cause of the recent problems we’ve had with the mechs?”355
I shake my head. “I apologise, but…”356
“Do you have any suspicions?”357
For a moment I consider the question. “I… have narrowed down the possibilities somewhat.”358
He indicates with a flick of his hand for me to continue. That’s the sort of thing he does that irritates me. He seems to believe the world is only here for him, along with everyone in it.359
“I’ve studied the mechs in every possible way, down to the smallest detail. I consulted their programming, any recent upgrades that may have caused all this, behaviour triggers, and of course the physical mechanics. I had some of my best employees work on the same things in case I might miss something, not that I ever have or plan to. Naturally I also compared numerous mechs that have experienced these episodes with a number that have remained sane. But there is no difference.”360
“And your point is?” the Emperor glowers at me.361
“…What do you mean?” I frown.362
He leans forward in his seat and rests his elbows on the table. “What is your point, Logan? Have you spent valuable time and resources for the past few months on a dead end? Have you failed?” He shakes his head. “You must have missed something.”363
His accusations make me angry. When have I ever given him grounds not to trust in my skills? “I missed nothing, and neither did my staff. If you would let me finish, Highness—”364
“Did you search right down to the tiniest wires and systems?” the advisor sitting on the Emperor’s right interrupts. Winston was the Head Mech Specialist before I came along, and this was his promotion so that he would be out of the way. “Are you sure you checked everything?” he continues. “The virus may be contained in the simplest place.”365
“Of course I did,” I snap. Do these people live to patronise me? “And why do you assume it’s a virus? If you made such assumptions, you would miss many possibilities, don’t you think? Or did you accidentally say that because you’re involved in this problem somehow? We can all guess your motives,” I smirk. My argument is quite reasonable. 366
He scowls. “What else could it be, other than a virus?” he defends.367
“Let me finish speaking and perhaps you’ll find out.” I wait, in case there are going to be more interruptions, but there are none. “In my research I didn’t waste any time or resources,” I assure my audience. “During that time I was able to rule out completely the possibility that this problem is internal. The point I’m trying to make is that the mechs themselves are perfect. Something on the outside is tampering with them.”368
A million questions are thrown at me at once. 369
“How can so many be affected at the same time?”370
“Who would have that much power? It must be a huge gang of people to pull something like this off. But how are they doing it without leaving any trace behind?”371
“Why on earth would anyone do it anyway?”372
“The Outsiders can’t be involved in it; they know nothing of our technology, and even if they did, they can’t get to us within the walls. So it must be the Insiders. But who of the City would want to do that? We live in a peace that’s almost too perfect, for heaven’s sake!”373
“What are they doing anyway? We can’t stop what we can’t identify.”374
“The mechs are everywhere; they have access to everything we have! When they go berserk, they create so much destruction, and so many lives are lost. Why would any Insider do this to his own people? Why would anyone do it all?”375
I hold up my hands. “That, my friends, is exactly what I’m trying to find out.”376
They silence. A bald Prime Minister takes a deep, exhausted breath. I had no idea the authorities were stressing so much about this. Normally they’re so detached from the real world. I suppose it has become very serious then. The Emperor taps his fingers on the smooth gold table. 377
“Is that all you wished to discuss with me?” I ask.378
He nods thoughtfully.379
“Good. While I’m here, I should tell you; my bike was destroyed in the last mech battle, and the Insurance Company is being no help. If one of you could take a minute to make a phone call for me just to hurry things along, that would be great.”380
Winston slams his hand down on the table. “Since when have we been at your service?”381
“I merely asked for a favour. I need my bike to get to emergency situations quickly. Unless you feel my help isn’t needed.”382
The Emperor waves his hand lazily. “Just do it.”383
I bow deeply and leave. 384
In the lift I think about what one of the advisors said. ‘We live in a peace that’s almost too perfect, for heaven’s sake!’ 385
But how can that be true, I wonder, when such a phrase is exclaimed in a desperate tone? Just because you say it’s peaceful, doesn’t make it true. I smile grimly. The City has never represented peace. It seems the Outsiders are finally catching up to us.386
That meeting was exhausting. Politicians have such conniving, prideful, often just plain resentful emotions. Today these feelings were slapping into my face along with a nice portion of selfish fear. I walk as quickly as I can through the busiest part of the City to my usual refuge.387
My footsteps echo on the marble floor as I take a relieved breath on my way down the aisle of an empty church. The ceiling is a dome of stained glass panels, depicting saints and scenes from the ancient stories. I don’t feel the need to debate my beliefs of how the world came to be, so I avoid thinking about what my religion might be. I just come to churches a lot because they’re relaxing, calming places.388
The City is full of conflicting emotions, while churches generally hold more selfless people who come here with the intentions of being a good human being. The people in churches are more pure, I suppose. They’re all as human as the rest of us and probably sin as much as the rest of us, but in church, their emotions are almost always that of pure goodwill, inspiration, and faith. It’s beautiful, really. I nearly feel better about the world when I visit churches.389
Nevertheless, people seem to feel so deeply in these buildings, and there are so many different people who have walked this aisle, that they leave behind a vague feeling. There’s a power in these places. Whether this is because of any higher being or just because of the goodwill of the people who come here, I don’t know. But a church seems to be the only place where there’s no buzzing in the back of my mind of someone far away with bitter feelings.390
The trouble is I can’t stay here all day. I have to go to work soon or they’ll know I’m slacking off. And the moment I leave this church, the emotions will slam into me again. There’s something wrong with this world.391
This evening when I finally come home some time past midnight, I find a brand new bike sitting out the front of my place. It’s a nice new model. I expect the tag on the handle bar to be a note saying something from the sender, but instead it reads, 392
What a crappy bike. I’m here if you want to swap –Jonn393
Laughing slightly, I pull the tag off and go inside.394
{Garn}395
We reached the base of the mountains two days ago. Avalia has been by my side for most of that time. At first I thought she just wanted my protection after I saved her life, but I soon realise that the real reason is that she feels like she owes me or something. Sasher isn’t quite happy with this little arrangement, but what can either of us do? Avi does whatever she wants no matter what everyone else tells her, and I can’t imagine a convincing reason for me or Sasher to ask her to stop hanging around me. To be honest, I’m ok with that. I kind of enjoy her company. 396
In spite of her plain, eventless life, she has a serious and well thought-out opinion on everything. When that girl contemplates something, she breaks it down to its base molecules. I didn’t think any Outsiders thought about stuff like the natural order of the world and how it has adapted since we messed it up in the Great War. It seems she’s compiled every scrap of information she’s heard around a campfire into a solid foundation of belief. And she’s quite right in this belief. I hope Avalia is the person I think she is, if only for the fact that I’ll look forward to travelling with her without maintaining this façade. I wonder how Sasher would take the news.397
When we got to the mountains two days ago we found what I called a battlefield and what the troop called free pickings. Two gangs had fought here perhaps a week ago; Sasher must have seen it on the flat horizon. I felt like a vulture, picking through the belongings of these dead people, but my food had run out and my rationed water was down to one third for the second time. It’s a good thing I took a big flask. On a previous night I told everyone I was going hunting, when in secret I merely flew back to the City, got a refill, and returned by morning on a ‘failed hunt’. If I run out again I can just steal away some other night. 398
From the battlefield, we decided it would be a good idea to travel around the mountains in the direction of my ‘old territory’. This obviously wasn’t my idea, but Avi had good reasoning when she thought of this idea. She asked innocently that night about my territory, but I thought she was just making conversation. But now everyone believes the territory I left behind when my gang and I tried to get into the City will now be there still, waiting for me. Oh well; I said it was far away. I plan to leave before we get there anyhow. It’ll be a shame to leave Sasher in a lurch though. I hope this spirited little gang survives after I’m gone.399
So now we’re gradually edging around the right side of the mountains. My excuse for not knowing where we’re going is that I went ‘round the other side of the mountain range. We stop at midday when we find a waterhole to bathe in… I’m not quite as excited as Avi when I find out it’s now expected that everyone clean themselves up in this acid. I lean over the edge to have a look at the water. I’m relieved to find that this kind is the one that completely burns the flesh off normal Insiders, but it’ll only sting like hell for me. I envy the Outsiders as they dump their things and jump fully-clothed into the murky depths, feeling nothing.400
“Are you coming, Nrag?” Avi asks as she pulls off her coat and moves to the water’s edge. “We can drink this kind too, so we can fill up our flasks here.” With a happy smile, she jumps neatly in. I didn’t know it was possible to jump into a waterhole neatly, but there it is. I’m the only one still out of the water. Better not draw unwanted attention to myself. With an inward sigh, I pull my shirt off and jump in with my eyes tightly shut. If this water burns my skin, I’d hate to think what it would do to my eyes. Probably blind me or something. At first I feel nothing but the water around me and think I’ve been spared, but the burning sets in after a few seconds. It’s like cutting my entire body and showering in lemon juice. When I emerge, I carefully wipe my eyes before opening them. The water still on my eyelashes makes my eyes water, but at least I’m not blind.401
By now the troop has settled down and is merely sitting in the water in a circle around the edges of the waterhole, enjoying the peace. I’m good with this; it’s easier to keep a natural blank face than a natural smile when your whole body feels like it’s on fire. A realisation hits me as it has a few times before. The things I do for my job!402
I talk with the rest of the gang for the next half-hour, and a sort of numbness sets in that suits me fine. The stinging now just feels like I’m swimming in ice. And then everyone gradually retrieves their coats and other discarded garments to wash them in this water. Naturally I do the same with my shirt. At the bottom of the waterhole I can feel a mess of sharp sticks; I hope it isn’t bones or something. I wouldn’t put it past Outsiders to habitually dump their dead in this pool.403
“That’s a funny expression. What are you thinking about?” Avi asks me suddenly.404
I grimace. “You don’t want to know.”405
She laughs, deciding for some reason that this is a good thing.406
The old man, Avi’s father is next to me washing his coat, splashing quite a bit. He must be senile because he often acts like a child. I don’t really care normally, but it’s hard to keep water out of my eyes when he’s doing that. Finally the inevitable occurs and the water splashes straight across my eyes before I can look away. Needles fly through my head and I manage a grunt of discomfort. The pain only intensifies. I end up swearing repeatedly whilst clutching my head. I sting all over. Dimly I’m aware of Avi asking me what’s wrong.407
“The water… eyes… sensitive eyes,” I reply. My head burns from my pupils to the centre of my brain. A dry piece of material is shoved in my hands, and I blindly wipe my face with it, pressing the material onto my eyeballs. The burning subsides a bit and I’m able to look around in a squint. My eyes water profusely. Eleven blurry faces stare at me, and I wonder what lie could possibly get me out of this one. I blink a lot to gain time, and finally my sight returns properly.408
“Yeah…” I mutter. “As I said, my eyes are sensitive.”409
“Hey, don’t feel bad,” Avi’s dad pipes up. “He was born without an arm.” He points in the direction of a man on the other side of the waterhole who holds a stump up out of the water. I’ve seen before that he doesn’t have a lower arm, but I thought perhaps he lost it in battle. I guess not. “You’re lucky you were just born with something that doesn’t affect your life much.” The group murmurs agreement. So I didn’t even have to make up a lie, they just made the assumption. They must trust me a lot now.410
Later in the day, when the sun is low on the horizon, Avalia spots a group of people seeming to be coming toward us. At first we think it’s whatever gang that controls this territory, but it doesn’t take long for us to realise otherwise. It’s the gang of cannibals that we only just finished beating. Why on earth have they followed us out here? 411
Sasher is happy to stay where we are; there’s no point in running from people we can stop easily. But there’s something bothering me. Why would they come back for more? If they think they can beat us this time, they must have a good reason for it. I tell Avi, and she agrees with me. Maybe they’re just going to use the night to attack us, which won’t matter a bit. But what if it’s something else? I’ll just have to stay on my toes and keep a sharp eye out for anything strange.412
I’m on first watch along with a couple of guys I haven’t spoken to much. We stand in a triangle around the troop; though the enemy is only coming from my side, we want to be prepared for any tricks. I stand with my back to the campfire and watch as the sun sets behind the clouds and the tiny approaching group lights torches. They’ll be here by late this night if they keep moving.413
Chapter 5414
New Alliance415
{Avalia}416
It’s dark and the fire is small. I take my empty flask out of my bag and go to see Nrag. He’s standing motionless, staring out at the little torches bobbing toward us in the dark.417
“Hey.” I hold up my flask. “I’m going to fill this up in the waterhole. Want me to fill yours up too?”418
He doesn’t look away from his focus, but I can see his eyes are still red from today when he got water in them. “Nah,” he says. “Thanks, but I already filled it up today.”419
“Oh. Really?”420
“Yeah, before we went swimming. Remember?”421
No. “Oh, ok then.” I leave and kneel by the water, filling up my bottle. Nragath is nice and all, but I can’t help but feel he’s hiding something. I’m sure it’s none of my business though.422
I’ve been happier since he came. He listens intently to everything I say as if he’s completely fascinated, and my thoughts suddenly feel important, or at least worth discussing. I feel like I’m smart and my opinion means something; I don’t have to prove what I’m saying because he just trusts my judgement and often agrees with me of his own accord anyway.423
I suppose I sound smitten with him. But I’m just so happy. I think I’ve actually found myself a real friend. Like, one I can trust. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like I can rely on anyone else before. If Nrag leaves our gang one day, I think I may actually abandon the people who raised me to go with him.424
I put my flask back in my bag and look out through the dark, past Nrag’s unmoving figure to the group of stars slowly bobbing closer over the plains. The cannibals are getting closer. I would go to sleep, but I don’t think I could in a situation like this. Instead I get out my ancient book and practice reading by torch light, sitting in the shelter of my low tent.425
Time must have passed faster than I realised, because the next thing I know, I hear Nrag’s warning. Frantic that I have been reading too long and am now unprepared, I slap the book shut. I stumble out of my tent and grab my knife. The others are just as alert. But Nrag’s call is simply a warning to say the gang is nearly here. I relax a little. A little, but not a lot. I move with the others to Nrag’s side, holding my knife tightly. The torches are now so close that we can dimly see the faces beneath them, reflecting the light. They’re only 200 or so metres away.426
This reminds me of when Nragath first appeared on the plains. He’s very different to 28 cannibals, but we still had the uncomfortable time when all we did was stare at each other while he slowly approached. Personally, I had no idea where to look for fear of catching the stranger’s eye. And I didn’t want to look away completely because it would be a sign of weakness. I suppose now at least it’s dark and all there really is to look at is the torches. The light breeze directs toward us for a second and I notice what I didn’t notice before: these people smell foul.427
When they finally reach us I can see their dirty, sick-looking faces. People weren’t meant to eat people.428
“What do you want?” Nrag asks. I wonder if Sasher will mind if Nrag speaks in his place as leader, but I can’t see him with the main group. He must be covering the rear of the camp just in case. ‘A captain doesn’t go down with his craft,’ he once told me, ‘He makes sure the craft doesn’t go down at all.’ One of the finer things he’s said.429
“What do you want?” Nrag repeats when he receives no immediate reply from the invaders. They’re just standing there, staring at us. “If you don’t answer I’ll assume this is an attack.”430
If you don’t answer? I think. What else would this be, other than an attack? One of the skeletal figures finally steps reluctantly forwards. He looks even more deathlike than ever beneath the angled shadows of his torch. His accent is thick and pronounced.431
“We aren’t here to attack,” he says. “We… we wish for an alliance.”432
An alliance? People mutter behind me.433
“What do you mean?” Nragath demands. “You don’t honestly think we would mix with you man-eaters?”434
“You don’t have to mix with us,” the man holds up a tentative thin hand as if to stop the coming argument.435
“Then what do you mean by alliance?”436
“W-we just want to travel with you. In actual fact, our troops will still be quite separate. You won’t even have to talk to us.”437
Nrag frowns. “Then what’s the point?”438
The stranger takes a nervous breath. The people behind him are expressionless; hollow-eyed. “The… The point is that…” He looks at the ground and pauses. 439
The people of my gang shuffle behind me and I wonder why. Are they impatient? Suspicious? Or just bored, I think dryly. The man looks up again quickly. “You remember the battle, right?”440
“We were there,” Nrag replies.441
“Right. Well, it seems to me that you were a small troop in the first place; in fact it was why we decided to attack you. And now you’re… well now you’re just pitiful.”442
“You’re not going to win us over with flattery.”443
“—No, I didn’t mean it like that. You’re not pitiful, but from far off you certainly look it. You appear to be an easy target to any gang. But if you had larger numbers, you could avoid a lot more fights. And… that’s what we want to do. We have a small and weak gang now, but if we could join with you just as fellow travellers… You would have fewer fights to deal with, and when we would be faced with trouble, we’d have a chance.” The man seemed to falter for a moment, but not for long. “Don’t you see? It’s perfect for both of us.”444
Some of the others seem to think this is a good idea already, but Nrag scratches his neck doubtfully. “What about your food? What happens when you get hungry? Are we just going to wait for you to take us one by one?”445
“No!” he shakes his head furiously. “That’s part of the deal. We won’t eat any of you. We’ll just happen to be travelling beside you, but we’ll essentially be separate. And anyway… we carry large amounts of food with us. And we um, got a pretty good stash from that battle.”446
I don’t want to know. The cannibals have been dragging large sacks with them all the way here; I can see the dark lumps in the torchlight. Now I can guess what’s inside.447
“You’ll probably get in plenty of fights, being travellers,” the man adds. “So as long as we can have what’s left behind, we’ll be fed.” 448
I nearly gag at this.449
“Avi,” Nrag turns to me suddenly. I feel the hungry eyes upon me. “Would you get Sasher for me?” he asks. “It’s his decision.” Wordlessly I move away as fast as I can. I shake the horrible images from my mind. People mutter under their breath as I go; I suppose they’re sick of my getting all the ‘important’ jobs like this. Especially because I’m a woman. Personally I’d be happy to go without this supposed privilege… I feel like a servant. But I guess I should be grateful for this trust. I head off to the other side of the camp where, sure enough, Sasher is standing. He jumps when he sees me.450
I smirk. “Shouldn’t you be more prepared if you’re out here guarding the rear?”451
“Avi! What’s happening?”452
“We need your opinion. The cannibals want to join with us in the interests of survival. They’ve promised not to eat any of our gang and they basically just want to travel with us.”453
He takes a moment register what I’ve said. And then he thinks about it. “Nrag and I are strong, but I’m not sure we could defend against any large force. This might be an idea.” He sighs. I’m not so impressed that he thinks only he and Nrag are worthy of mention. “What do you think?”454
Now I’m the one that’s surprised. He’s actually asking my opinion? Like my inferior female brain could actually serve him somehow? Careful… I shouldn’t get my hopes up that he might be at all decent or anything. He’s probably just asking my opinion as a token gesture; I doubt he’ll take into account what I have to say. Might as well try though… “To be honest,” I say carefully, “I disagree with you completely. No matter how small our troop is, I’d rather be small than surrounded by people who want to eat me. We don’t know if they’ll turn against us. Then what will we do? Anyway, while we’re small we’re also faster and might escape notice. Having these people around will give us numbers, but no extra help. They’re pathetic; you should see them, Sasher. We’re better off without them.”455
“Hmm,” he nods with a deep frown. “That’s true… but we’ll look more formidable with larger numbers. A dozen is just so small. Yes, with larger numbers we could avoid plenty of fights altogether. And… you know I’d hate it if you got hurt, Avi.” He pauses to look into my eyes. I struggle not to look away; I won’t reveal my thoughts. “Maybe I’ll go talk to them.”456
Inside I’m seething but I give him my best blank face and nod. I knew he wouldn’t listen to me. He heard nothing I just said. But if that wasn’t enough, he decided to give me that masculine crap implying that I’m so helpless. Where would I be without him? I follow him silently back to the group. I hate that he thinks I’m stupid and pathetic, and that I only exist for his benefit. Fucking Sasher. I’m so furious! Nrag doesn’t even see it.457
Soon I find myself walking in Sasher’s wake as the group parts to let him through. A clawing hand grabs my elbow so hard I have to step back. It’s my father. To be honest I almost forgot he existed. My thoughts have been so preoccupied lately and he hasn’t spoken to me much. For a second I feel guilty for not being a good daughter and not spending time with him, but then I remember why.458
“What is it?” I whisper.459
He shakes my elbow. “Do you think Nrag will decide to leave us if this alliance is approved?”460
“What?” I frown. “Don’t you like him, father?”461
He doesn’t answer; he just keeps shaking my elbow. “Do you think he’ll try to get into the City? He’d want to take you.”462
I pull my arm away. “What are you talking about? Why would he?”463
“He’s fond of you. I know he is. I see the way he looks at you.”464
My face heats up and I try to inconspicuously let my hair fall in front of my face. What am I, five? I barely know this man. “Be quiet, father,” I scold. “Now is not the time.”465
I turn my attention back to Sasher, and find that I’ve missed an entire conversation. He is stepping forward to shake the gaunt man’s hand. A coarse, grunting woman pushes her way through her troop and knocks the thin man over like a feather before he can shake Sasher’s hand. She is thin but wiry-looking, and her hair is thin and white like a knot of spider webs.466
“I am the leader of this troop,” she growls. “We just used that idiot because he’s so weak, and it would be no loss if you killed him.” The man on the ground picks up his torch and scrambles back into the safety of the group. I sort of pity him if his people think so little of him.467
The woman holds out a callused hand to Sasher. “Our deal is done.”468
Hesitating only briefly, Sasher shakes her hand. Then he turns without saying anything more, and leads us all back to our tents. He at least is being cautious. That was the deal; we wouldn’t even have to talk to them. So I guess we aren’t.469
Before I head into my tent tonight I glance at our new allies. Their torches have settled where we spoke to them and they have put up their own tents. 470
What a demented little troop we are now.471
{Garn}472
I feel as if I’ve been with this gang forever. It happens to me every time. I become too loyal to the people I’m supposed to be spying on. Though I feel the objective on this mission has changed a little, there isn’t much information I could get from them anyway. They clearly know nothing about the City, let alone the problems with the mechs inside the walls. 473
I’ve gotten used to my name here too. If someone called out, ‘Garn!’ at the top of their lungs I don’t think I’d even respond right away. I’ve made a home again. So now that this home is threatened, it’s making me overly cautious. I don’t at all trust those savages we’ve decided to befriend. I wonder if Sasher’s made the right decision.474
We’re still skirting around the mountains. When we stop for a rest I scan the rocky face to our left. It’s shallow and messy due to what looks like multiple landslides, and easily climbed. This place has got to be crawling with scrats. They’re not the tastiest thing to eat but they’re still a common source of meat and not difficult to hunt. I tell Avi I’m going on a quick hunt up in the rocks in case anyone asks and will be back in an hour, successful or no. And then it’s a simple matter of borrowing a few throwing knives and beginning my climb.475
The rocks are loose and I have to test each step before I put my weight on it. 476
I was surprised to find that there are children in this new troop. I never saw them in the battle; they were probably left behind at their camp. Children are rare out here, though very common in the southern lands where troops are more settled and hunt for food instead of scrounging for other people’s. There are three children in all; a set of twin boys around the age of twelve and a little girl of just four years. It’s a disgusting thought to know that these innocent faces have eaten human flesh. I shudder inadvertently at the thought.477
I climb up to a reasonably level area of rock and look down at the gang below. They’re not that far away yet. I survey the area in search of any hint of a scrat’s presence.478
{Avalia}479
I take a sip from my flask and put it back in my bag. I can’t take my eyes off the children in the other troop. Children! I don’t think I remember seeing one before in my life. They seem quiet. All three sit with the adults in obedient silence. They’re either well-disciplined or just unhappy, and I can guess it’s the latter because I’ve seen no one who looks like a parent to them. I hope it wasn’t the encounter with our troop that killed them. I wat