100 Things About Kaleb...

...that you never wanted to know. I know he evaded some of the questions, but that's part of his personality.1

Kaleb's settled in a black armchair, tapping his fingers on his knee when the interview takes place. His eyes are hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses as he looks impassively on, not impatient for the interview to start.2

1. What is your full name? Kaleb Jacob Xander3

2. Where and when were you born? Born November 17th, 1986 in Los Angeles, California.4

3. Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.) My father’s name… is Richard, and I don’t talk about him. My mother’s name is Alexandra, or just Alex, and I’m not quite sure what she does as an occupation, but she’s just as stubborn as I am.5

4. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? I have… Robert, who’s another I won’t talk about; Stevie, who’s my twin, and he’s considered pretty normal – you know, perfect girlfriend, perfect life, that kinda thing; I also have Michael, who’s a half-brother I’m just recently getting to know, but he's a piercer at my friend's tattoo shop and he seems pretty cool.6

5. Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people. I live in east LA with Matt. The house is the same one I’ve lived in for years, since I was able to afford one of my own – modest, simple, not much there. Matt’s… well, Matt’s pretty much the greatest guy ever and I don’t tell him that often enough.7

6. What is your occupation? I’m a bartender, always have been.8

7. Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks. I’m about 5’11”, about 170, white (German and English) with a bit of Cherokee Indian in me, which explains my high cheekbones. I’ve got shoulder-length brown hair, and hazel eyes. I guess you could say my clothing style’s alternative – I mostly shop at Affliction. As far as scars go? I’m not going into that one, but I’ll tell you a few tattoos. I’ve got a graveyard spanning my left forearm, a weeping tree on my left bicep, purple and green flames on both my wrists, and a bunch of monsters that I drew randomly and then my friend wanted to ink on there on my right arm. I’ve got the words ‘what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger’ inked across my stomach above my hips. I’ve also got a huge wingspan on my back from my shoulders to my lower back, with broken and bloody feathers and razors intermingled. I’ve got the signatures of the Mike Shinoda and Chester Bennington from Linkin Park tattooed on the tops of my hands, and ‘Survivor’ tattooed on my knuckles as well as a small ‘1’ on my right thumb. I’ve also got a black rose tattooed on my calf, intermingled with thorns and ivy. I’ve got a nose stud and an eyebrow ring as well as having my ears pierced.9

8. To which social class do you belong? Middle-class, I guess.10

9. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? Not really, only a previous addiction.11

10. Are you right- or left-handed? Ambidextrous but mostly right-handed.12

11. What does your voice sound like? It’s kind of low, pretty rough from smoking so long, and I’ve got a California accent.13

12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? “Dude” is one I use way too often. “Fuck off” is another one I abuse quite liberally. Just the word "fuck" in general.14

13. What do you have in your pockets? Lighter, cigarettes, keys, cell phone, wallet.15

14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? I can be a royal asshole and then I can turn around and tell you I need you. I’m a compulsive smoker. I can be annoying when I want to be. I’ve been told I’m manipulative.16

15. How would you describe your childhood in general? A fucked up horror movie that I’d rather not revisit.17

16. What is your earliest memory? My mother leaving – I was three.18

17. How much schooling have you had? I dropped out my junior year of high school.19

18. Did you enjoy school? Not really. It was boring and people were always staring at me.20

19. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? From a friend who mentored me. He’s currently my boss.21

20. While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them. My role models are my uncles, Nikki and Jeremy. Nikki’s a crazy fucker with almost as many tattoos as I have, and Jeremy’s just as bad, though with less tattoos naturally. One’s a recovering heroin addict, and the other’s been in prison for grand theft auto. Great idols, right?22

21. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family? Not well at all. I resented the hell out of my twin and my mother for leaving me, and then… let’s not talk about the rest of my family, please.23

22. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? What? I couldn’t think of what I wanted to be, I just wanted OUT.24

23. As a child, what were your favorite activities? Not getting my ass kicked?25

24. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? I don’t fucking remember.26

25. As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? No, I didn’t have any friends until I hit high school.27

26. When and with whom was your first kiss? Sid, when I was fifteen.28

27. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? Some chick. I was fourteen at the time and I was already an addict, so I don’t remember more than waking up next to some ugly chick who I swear was at least in her thirties.29

28. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today. All of it? Everything from my mother leaving to my father and brother.30

29. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? When I got sober on my own without being forced.31

30. Who has had the most influence on you? My uncle, Nikki.32

31. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Getting sober.33

32. What is your greatest regret? Almost killing my ex-girlfriend when I’d overdosed.34

33. What is the most evil thing you have ever done? See above.35

34. Do you have a criminal record of any kind? DUI’s mostly, and I’ve been arrested for underage drinking. Other than that, not really.36

35. When was the time you were the most frightened? I was eight, and I’m not telling you the story.37

36. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? I’m not telling you that either.38

37. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? I would want my father and brother to die horrible, painful deaths before they started killing my future.39

38. What is your best memory? Running away.40

39. What is your worst memory? I’m not answering that.41

40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? Pessimistic.42

41. What is your greatest fear? Relapsing.43

42. What are your religious views? I don’t have any.44

43. What are your political views? Fuck politics.45

44. What are your views on sex? Sex is awesome. Bring it on.46

45. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? I would kill if I was pushed to that limit, yes.47

46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? Take someone's life without actually killing them, and leaving them emotionally scarred.48

47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? I really don’t.49

48. What do you believe makes a successful life? I’m not sure. That’s a weird question for me. Getting out of bad situations alive and rebuilding after.50

49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? I do hide myself from others to an extent, but I’ve been better about it lately.51

50. Do you have any biases or prejudices? None, really.52

51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? Go back to the house that I grew up in, because I’d be tempted to burn it to the ground.53

52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? I wouldn’t die for them, but I’d go to extremes for Kay and Lena (Adopted son and biological daughter).54

53. In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how? I generally hold people at arms-length and I can be an ass when I’m defensive, but if they stick with me for a certain amount of time, I slowly start letting them in. So yes, I do change my treatment by how long I’ve known them.55

54. Who is the most important person in your life, and why? Matt, because he’s done so much for me already.56

55. Who is the person you respect the most, and why? My uncle Jeremy, because he’s made my mother happy again and he saved my ass when I had nowhere else to go.57

56. Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people. I do have friends, yes. My best friend would have to be Sid. She’s this spunky little shit with too-bright hair and an even brighter disposition. We’ve been through a lot of shit and still she puts up with me. Matt’s just a given – he’s the best guy I’ve ever met, and he puts up with my bullshit better than anyone. Then there’s Jeff, who gave me a job when no one else would. He’s an awesome guy, really laid-back even though he runs a huge bar. Anna as well – she’s my ex, but I try to stay friends with her, for my daughter if nothing else. She’s a bit clingy and needy, but overall I only wish her the best.58

57. Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person. Tentatively, yes. I’ve mentioned him already, and he’s probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me.59

58. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened. Couple times. The first time it was in the back of an alley, and I just looked in her eyes and there was this hope there that maybe she could save me. She couldn’t, though. The second time it came on really slowly. He fell in love with me first and it took me forever to feel the same way.60

59. What do you look for in a potential lover? I don’t look for anything. They look for me.61

60. How close are you to your family? Didn’t you ask this sort of question already? I’m close to my uncles and my mother to an extent but other than that, no fucking way.62

61. Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not? In a manner, yeah. Lena’s about two, and she’s with Anna and her new boyfriend all the time. I adopted one of Sid’s twins, Kay, and he acts more like me than his biological father, I guess, which was why she named him after me in the first place.63

62. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? Matt.64

63. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? Matt, because he’s the only one who’s proven he can.65

64. If you died or went missing, who would miss you? A lot of people, I think. I know Matt and Sid would, maybe Anna and Jeff… my mother, my uncles. Yeah.66

65. Who is the person you despise the most, and why? It’s a tie between my father and my brother, because they fucked me up so badly.67

66. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? I definitely tend to argue with people. I’m a confrontational type.68

67. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? Sometimes. It depends.69

68. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? Yeah, I do, because it makes me feel a little less alone.70

69. Do you care what others think of you? Not really.71

70. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? I love my job – bartending – even though I stopped drinking. I draw sometimes, and my biggest and – ironically – most silent passion is the guitar.72

71. What is your most treasured possession? My guitar. It’s black with dark purple pinstripes.73

72. What is your favorite color? Purple.74

73. What is your favorite food? Burgers, definitely.75

74. What, if anything, do you like to read? Nothing, really. I don’t like reading that much.76

75. What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)? A good horror movie with a lot of action and not a lot of emotions; music like Pantera, Godsmack, Guns n Roses, Motley Crue, shit like that; I really like abstract art, but I fucking hate modern art. It’s really goddamn ugly. 77

76. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit? I used to drink and do heroin, but I quit about a year and a half ago. Best decision of my life. I smoke because it calms my nerves and I’ve been doing it forever. It’s one habit I’ll never break.78

77. How do you spend a typical Saturday night? Working.79

78. What makes you laugh? Stupid shit – Jackass, inappropriate jokes, stupid music.80

79. What, if anything, shocks or offends you? Nothing shocks me anymore.81

80. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? I’d play my guitar all night until I got too tired to play anymore.82

81. How do you deal with stress? I don’t. I avoid it as much as possible.83

82. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? I’m definitely spontaneous.84

83. What are your pet peeves? Whining and passive-aggressive bullshit.85

84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted? Get up, go to work, come home. I don’t care if it’s disrupted. I’d totally welcome it.86

85. What is your greatest strength as a person? Quick wit.87

86. What is your greatest weakness? My over-emotionality.88

87. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? My past.89

88. Are you generally introverted or extroverted? Extroverted.90

89. Are you generally organized or messy? Messy.91

90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at. Good – guitar, bartending, sex. Bad – relationships, being nice to people, being rational.92

91. Do you like yourself? Sometimes.93

92. What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons...) I don’t really consider myself an adventurer. I don’t like doing heroic things, and I’d rather just live my life and get it over with. I’m not a hero. I’m just a normal, everyday guy. I’m not trying to save the world – hell, I couldn’t even save myself.94

93. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? Give my kids the best I can – I don’t want them growing up like I did.95

94. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Exactly what I’m doing now.96

95. If you could choose, how would you want to die? By my own hands. I’m not dying by anyone else’s hand, and fuck dying old.97

96. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. Kill my father and brother, tell Anna everything I never did, and tell Matt I do love him.98

97. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? I’m not sure. I don’t want to be remembered as some heartless asshole, I know that much.99

98. What three words best describe your personality? Manipulative, volatile, passionate.100

99. What three words would others probably use to describe you? Asshole, cold, rude.101

100. If you could, what advice would you, the protagonist give to your antagonist? Go fuck yourself.