Letter from a Fire Starter

To whom it may concern1

My name is Adara. I am writing this from an underground compound somewhere in South Africa. If anyone finds this please let the world know my side of the story. Even if no one ever reads this, at least I tried. Just know that they started it. I never wanted this and if they had just left us alone, none of this would of happened. 2

It’s their fault, even though I know no one will see it that way. I have no reason to lie. But still I know . . .  anyway, let me explain and you can decide. 3

I first used my ability to create and control fire when I was four, even though I didn’t know it at the time. It took me years to find out what really happened that day - I still don’t think I have all the facts. You see, I have no real memory of that day 16 years ago. Just moments, flashes really . . . and feelings. I remember the smell of my mothers perfume and I remember that I said I loved her. As for the rest, I’m not entirely sure; I can tell you what I remember and I can tell you what the paper said. As for what actually happened, you’ll have to decide that for yourself. Or maybe you can get a member of the super secret underground organization to tell you. But I am guessing that this is the closest you’ll ever get to the truth. 4

I remember that day in a series of bright flashes. The thing I remember the most is the fear, a paralyzing fear only children really understand. A stranger was holding me; mommy told me if that ever happened I should scream as loud as I could, so I screamed.  I heard my mommy call me, but I couldn’t find her. Then silence. He’s holding me again, but now he’s screaming. Then nothing.5

Suddenly I’m alone and my doll’s face is melted away. I’m on my bed and all the screaming has stopped and I can hear myself crying. Then I see them, two beautiful blue eyes. He must have been a fireman. He picked me up and whispered in my ear and somehow I felt so safe in his arms. I don’t remember exactly what he said, just the sound of his voice. I know what happened next not because I remember it - for this part logic is my memory. I was first sent to a place of safety and then moved from foster home to group home to foster home. Life carried on as if nothing had happened. 6

When normal people get angry or scared or loose control, on average no one dies. I was soon to learn that that was not true of me. 7

I hated school - I hated every school I ever attended. The last school though was by far the worst of the bunch. I had managed to control the fire inside me this far but every so often someone would tease me or say something horrible and I could feel the fire rising, trying to get out. When ever it happened I would close my eyes and shut out the world outside my mind; this always seemed to work, but my control was beginning to weaken. Now 16 years old, I spent so much time with my eyes closed I was beginning to think I had gone blind. 8

One day, in my attempt to hide from Mrs. Winters, I found myself in the library. Mrs. Winters, the deputy headmistress of St. Francis Catholic school for girls, had taken a personal interest in my case and had taken it upon herself to save my eternal soul. I wasn’t very interested in being saved, so I took every opportunity I could to avoid her. 9

While trying to look extremely busy, I stumbled across some old newspapers, organized by date. “What could it hurt to find the article for that day? What answers could this old pile of newspapers give me?” I wondered. “If I was 4 when the accident happened then it must have been 1987”, I reasoned. Surprisingly, I found the year rather easily, but the article itself proved much harder to locate. I had become so embroiled in my search that I hadn’t realized that I had already missed my English class and was well on my way to entirely missing my science class. All I could think about were the mysteries that this article could unlock. Finally I found the headline I had been searching for, Explosion Rocks Residential Area.10

The date on the article was 20 September 1987. It said something along the lines of, “No official reason has been given for the explosion that tore through Albemarle at approximately 2 o’clock this morning. The explosion damaged a total of 18 buildings obliterating 5 completely. The injured currently stand at 28 with a total of 10 people reportedly killed in the blast.” 11

The words on the page began to fade and then disappeared into ashes. My fault - it was all my fault. My parents and 8 other people were dead, and I killed them. Just them Mrs. Winters walked in. I could see she was screaming at me but I couldn’t hear her words. By now everything around me was on fire and Mrs. Winters later told the police she had seen the matches I used to start it. Lying bitch, I didn’t care. I never wanted to go to her stupid school anyway. 12

After the fire gutted the library the school board and my foster parents decided I was dangerous. Some nameless judge agreed and I was sent to reformatory. I heard it was a horrible place where I was sure the darkness would finally overwhelm me.  But. I was wrong, thank goodness; going to reformatory saved my life. That’s where I met Seth, the boy of my dreams and the love of my life. Seth had been there for a year already. His crime?13

Seth, who was 16 when he was sent to reformatory, had quite a drinking problem then. We all know how clever something seems when you’re wasted. Well, he thought it would be a brilliant idea to steal his father’s car and test his driving skills on the highway. Needless to say his parents and the police weren’t quite as impressed as he previously thought they’d be since he apparently managed to drive his father’s car off a cliff, luckily jumping clear at the last possible moment. The paramedics on the scene told him he was lucky to be alive. 14

Seth’s father refused to withdraw the theft charge as he felt that reformatory would do the boy some good. So, Seth got to spend the remaining 2 years of his school career in reformatory. Parents - how clueless they can be sometimes. 15

All these remarkable accidents brought us together, so I don’t regret the choices made. 16

We hit it off from the very first day, his beautiful blue eyes reminding me of the man from my memories. The best thing about him was his smile - his smile could light up a room. Good looking and cocky, I could see that inside of him lay a heart of gold. He was the first person who saw me, I mean really saw me. I had been alone so long that I hadn’t realized just how lonely I really was. 17

When he entered my life, it was as if someone turned on the lights and I could breathe and I could smile and, best of all, I could open my eyes. Seth always called me beautiful; in the last few years I had been called many things but beautiful was never one of them. I finally felt worthwhile, even pretty. I should have known it was too good to be true. Two months into my stay, the men in the black suits came back. I suppose my little light show in the library got them interested again. 18

I would have recognized them anywhere; the same black suits and the same dead eyes. My first instinct was to run, but how could I leave Seth? I couldn’t; I had to fetch him and we could run together. I wasn’t going to lose him now, not now that I just found him. I found him in the mess hall and I tried to explain as quickly and honestly as I could but it came out something like, “ Gotta go, black suits, parents, boom, I, Fire, Come.” What came next really surprised me. He got up and said, “let’s go,” no questions or explanations, he just got up and came with me. 19

We ran as fast as we could, Seth saying that we needed clothes and some money. I just wanted to run away as fast as humanly possible but I conceded though, that some clothes would be very useful. They were there at my room door, just waiting for us. So, we turned and made a run for Seth’s room. I could feel the fire inside me, building as my fear intensified. There was no way I could hurt Seth so I closed my eyes and took hold of his hand - he could lead the way. They were waiting there for us too since the teachers must have told them we were friends. We were trapped, two in front and two behind, no way out. 20

I turned to Seth and said, "I can’t," the tears streaming down my cheeks. 21

He hugged me and whispered in my ear. "You must, they can’t take you away from me, I’ll be fine." 22

"I’ll kill you." I said trying to make him understand. 23

He just smiled and looked down as I followed his gaze and saw his hand totally engulfed in flame. "I’ll be fine." He said again, touching my cheek. "Do it!" 24

I had no idea what he meant, but decided to trust him. I hugged him with all my strength and gave the fire within me the freedom it so craved.25

I couldn’t let go. I was convinced that if I let him go he would fall to ashes at my feet, and I would have killed the boy I loved with all my heart. 26

"Wow you really pack a punch, beautiful." 27

Slowly I opened my eyes and there he was, a big smile on his face. All I could mange to say through my tears of relief was, “how?” 28

He explained that he didn’t really know. He told me about the day of the accident, that he actually had gone over the cliff, how he sat in the car as it careened over the edge and burst into flames. It had been a futile attempt at suicide. When he realized that he was not injured, he climbed back to the top of the hill. Knowing no one would believe him, he told everyone that he jumped free of the car at the last second. I surveyed the damage I had done - the boys dormitory was totally destroyed. A gaping hole was all that remained. Luckily all the students were either in class or in the mess hall and I was confident that I didn’t have another death on my conscience. Except of course, the 4 men, but I didn’t think they counted. All of Seth’s things were destroyed except for R200 that he hid in a compartment under the floorboards. So with R200.00 and the clothes on our backs, we ran, no real direction or destination in mind. We just ran. 29

Seth took really good care of me in the months that followed. We never stayed in one place very long, always careful not to draw attention to ourselves. We got work when we could and slept wherever we found a place. More than once we slept on the street, but I didn’t care  because at least, we had each other. One particularly bad day I asked him why he stayed with me, why he didn’t just leave me. His answer was simple. “Us freaks have to stick together, beautiful, I’m not going anywhere without you.” 30

It was the best time of my life. 31

I don’t know how, but they finally caught up with us in Cape Town, abruptly ending Seth and my time together. They must have come at night for all I know is, I fell asleep next to Seth and woke up alone in a strange room. I’ve been here a year now but I don’t know where Seth is or if he’s even alive. They have tried everything to get me to show them what I can do, but they can’t force me to do it. 32

My world is very dark once again and I can’t smile anymore. Maybe Seth is out there somewhere and maybe he is looking for me - maybe he is wondering the same things I am. I don’t know, but either way I am getting out of here tonight. If I could cause damage to 18 building when I was 4, imagine what I am capable of now that I am 18. At least I know I won’t hurt him. As for the rest of the people in this compound, they made their choices. I’ve had enough - I can’t take it anymore. Just remember they started this, but I am going to end it. 33

Adara34

The Fire Starter 35