The Wandering Soul moaned, and rocked violently. The monstrous black waves beat down on the ship hungrily. The wind shrieked with rage, and lightning crackled in the sky.1
Peter hugged Elsa's slim figure to himself tightly, gently stroking her hair. They stood on the empty deck of the Wandering Soul, completely unnerved by the chaos that surrounded them.2
Elsa shuttered as the wind visciously tore at their bodies. She burried her face into Peter's chest, trying to obscure the tears that were staining her pale cheeks. Peter noticed her distress, and tightened his grip. He then gazed up into the merciless black skies of the raging storm. Peter then leaned down and whispered into Elsa's ear, "We must flee my love, for it has found us, and will stop at nothing to have us in its grasp."
Author notes
Sorry if there's any spelling or grammer errors, I'm not all that great with those kinds of things, and if you do happen to find some (which you more than likely will 
) please tell me so I can fix them! Thanx!
What did ya think?
Comments
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exelente woman! you did an awsome job and i just loves ya to deaths! lol. k though we have to finish science tomarrow. lol.
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Why have you not continued this story Kix? So far it looks great, good vocabulary, imagery, and the characters are just perfect, the fact that they're horrified makes it seem more believable. Also, I like how you ended on a cliffhanger.
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good job maninizer! lol so yea waht's up? this is great!
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I really like this Halez. It's a good start and I can't wait for more. However, instead of having the tears dance down her face, I'd choose a different wording with more sorrow in it since it's a bleak setting. I'd suggest something like dripping, slipping....just something a bit more morbid. Other than that, wonderful job!
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