Haven't you ever wanted to do something daring? Come with me! You won't be disappointed." Celia said as she grabbed my hand. "Let's go find us some danger!"1
I said to her: 'ok, but don't get me into trouble' I said. After all, I was so bored. It was Halloween night so I thought that it will be more scarier. We got ready and came out.2
But we couldn't fnd any danger or spooky things yet so we just went for trick and treat. 3
I wore a witche's costume, it had a pointy witche's hat with a cape which was with sculls on them. Celia wore a vampire costume, she had vampire fangs put on to her real teeth. She put fake blood on her face and a dark cape. 4
We haven't got any tricks but we got treats. We ran around the neighbourhood, trick or treating. We knoked on the door and shouted: 'trick or treat'. The people opened the door, the lights were out and they pretended to be ghosts. Then of course, they gave us sweets. I ate a whole packet of m-n-ms. We went around again and again, they all gave us sweets.5
We tried to stop trick or treating and instead, we ran to search for something exciting. We searched and searched for a long time until Celia shouted at me pointing as she shouted:6
'look at that house, it looks ghostly'.7
I just replied to her 8
'I love those sweets we're getting, lets trick or treat in this house' 9
That was true. I stared up at that house. There was a grave on the garden engraved with: Edward Anderson 1789-1860. Then it said: don't disturb my slumber.10
Celia said enthusiastically 11
'lets go inside.'12
I told her about the grave and she just said 13
'just the better'.14
We climbed over the gates and opened the door to the house.15
It was quite dark but we were not scared. I just wondered how this person got such a big house. I pointed at a picture of a man with a beard, cold, blue eyes, old fashioned clothes and most of all, a stern face.16
Not many people came here, I wondered why. I turned around to talk to Celia but Celia, she was gone! Oh no! I heard a scream from upstairs. It was Celia's voice! That stupid thing, thinking that I really wanted to trick or treat in this house.17
I ran upstairs, and then I saw Celia with a pale figure of a man, maybe the ghost. 'Trick or treat I said in a nervous voice 'sorry we didn't knock on the door before we went in'. The ghost just growled at me and said nothing. Celia said in a scared voice 18
'the ghost killed everyone which came to his house every Halloween. I'm going to be killed and so are you! THe ghost told me that because anyway I'm going to die. So stop talking to the ghost and run for your life!' 19
The ghost reached a hand out but I was trapped. I was too slow.20
Celia said I won't be disappointed but I am, a bit. The ghost killed me and Celia, it was not a painful moment. Now, if you ever go into that house, me and Celia are waiting... 21
Author notes
I combined the two options together.
A contest entry
- My Second SW Contest (I think.....) by crosscountry07.
450 points, ended October 26, 2008, 10 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Halloween Contest for Kids - 14 and under by whichcraft.
175 points, ended October 20, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Scary Stories by WolfSpiritMia.
400 points, ended October 24, 2008, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Holloween Ahoy! by Azzy Bear.
450 points, ended November 4, 2008, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Anything accepctted
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I like the ending when you said 'we are waiting'. Great story, good job. It's scary but good. I'm looking forward to your next story.
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really scary when they meet the ghost. you got a feew spelling mistakes
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Now thats why you don't go trick or treat at a spooky old house, the old guy is too cranky to give you any treat, and at end you do receive the trick. Good job buddy! You do write very well for some one your age.
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Hmm. It went a bit to fast for me personally. There were not too many spelling mistakes, nothing too bad, and also nothing a few mins of revising can't fix. It had an interesting concept, and I enjoyed it nonetheless. But seriously, I would suggest adding a bit more, the story didn't have that much substance. Just be glad i'm not a total assh*le xD
Thanks for entering and good luck.
P.S: Rules. Seriously, If I have to remind one more person about the rules, i'm going to go insane.
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its ok kinda goes into detail fast and theres not alot of description.
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The end of the story took me by surprise. I didn't think that your characters would get killed but it made for a turn in the story. The dialogue structure could be fixed but I like how you wrote the story. Thank you for entering and have a Happy Halloween.
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xD!! That made me laugh at the end. I loved it! This is so in my finalists!! It was awesome, but I don't see how Celia knew that the ghost killed everyone on Halloween, etc. But awesome job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck!!
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this is a really good story with an unexpected ending..poor you and celia!! hehe..very clever and fun write. Good luck in the contest.
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you look tidy and neat.is Really scary but it look good.
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Wow! That's kind of sad. Poor girls! Well written though! My only suggestion would be to make a new paragraph every time someone new speaks. Great job and good luck in the contest! -Liz
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I know I'll try to do that. I made it a sad ending because I havn't written sad ending stories.
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Wow! Wonderful! I liked it very much, particularly the last paragraph! You are getting better by the day! All the best in the contest!!
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Thanks for comenting, you know why I do this? It's just to make it a bit more scary.
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