The sky was darkening a lot quicker than usual, the trees; black silhouettes against the deep blue sky. No clouds were present. She knew it was going to be a cold night. Turning away from the window she sat in her old armchair staring and the yellow flames dying in the fireplace. Past memories surrounded her body, taking over and releasing all the emotions she hadn't shown for years. But they all stopped the moment the fire died.1
A young child no older then fifteen, running, in a terrible state. Her hair matted, dress torn yet stretched over her large stomach. She stumbled unable to run any further. Her legs gave way and she collapsed on the floor, moaning in agony. It was quick but extremely painful.2
She stood up quickly, unable to believe the prophecy she had witnessed. Without waiting she grabbed her hat and a small, handled box and rushed out of the door. As she hurried down the cobbled street she stumbled and slipped but she carried on, running faster and more urgently.3
She slid down the muddy banking and ran across the little beck up into the trees. Eventually she reached the old oak tree where her prophecy had taken place. Blood covered the undergrowth turning what was once green a dark red colour. Beneath the growth and the flowers, now dead, lay a small bundle wrapped in white linen. She picked up the tiny body and studied its small features. The small boy let out a strangled cry and screwed up his face. However his mother couldn't help him. Following the trail of blood eventually she came across the young girls body. Too exhausted the young one couldn't carry on. She lived to try and save her baby, that she did, but her body unable to handle it had let go of life. 4
Men's voices filled the air. The older woman held the baby boy and left the woods hoping not to be spotted.5
' She's here. I've found her.'6
' By God, is she...?'7
Edd bent down and picked up her wrist.8
' Yes. She's gone.'9
George let out a low whistle10
' What a way to go. Well saves us a job doesn't it.'11
Edd didn't say anything, just looked at the body laying at their feet.12
'She was so young, so bonny. She didn't deserve this.' He whispered to himself.13
George wasn't listening, he was too busy searching her body for jewelry, bits of gold and silver. He turned her over, searched some more then abandoned his search.14
' Nothing. Not one lousy piece of gold.'15
'We should get going. Master is going to want to see her body, know she's dead.' Edd said not removing his eyes from the floor.16
'What about the baby? Won't he want to see that too?' George had a point.17
'Well she gave birth. Look at all the blood. The baby will be dead. It wouldn't survive without its mother.'18
George seemed satisfied at Edd's theory and together they carried the young girl back to the Manor, back to their master.19
She held the baby close to her chest. He had stopped crying and was now sleeping peacefully in her arms. She looked at his tiny features. His button nose and tiny mouth. His tiny fingers and miniature toes.20
'Don't worry baby. Your mother loved you. But I'm here now. Don't be scared. Grandma Doris will take care of you.'21
Author notes
Well part three. I hope the link is carefully coming together. There's still alot to find out! Hope you enjoy
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Wow... And things take a twist in part three... You're doing the pronoun thing again, here, but in this case it's OK because there aren't too many "she"s and we need to save the "Doris" part til the end. Is Doris the baby's biological grandmother? The plot thickens... But what about the gold necklace? You have me intrigued. How does Elizabeth fit in? On to part four! This is a good story...
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lol thanks emma!
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great as usual
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"The sky was darkening a lot quicker than usual, the trees were black silhouettes against the deep blue sky." for my tastes, a semicolon ( ; ) would work between usual and the, if 'were' were deleted after trees.
She knew it was to be a cold night" She knew it was going to be a cold night seems to work better in your context.
other than that...your grammer and puctuation is improving immensly! I'll check my email again for part four.
(i'm wonderign what this kid is going to do-why the mother was so young, why she was running away, and who this master guy is-lots of questions, not so many answers) -
lol it mite be- depends if i reach a huge halt somewhere in the near future- but i dont usually get this far so i dont know
lol
Lauren x -
well wot can i say tis gr8 lauren- is this gonna b the first story 2 b completed?! tis gr8 anyways cant w8 for part4 . love lucy x
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thanks
ill change it
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Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot
Coming along really well!
The link is there! (slightly)
first line 'than' insted of 'then'
Well done
Keep up the gd wrk!
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