She took a shaky breath, struggling to hold back her tears, but they came anyway. Silent streams of saline emotion sliding down her face as she tortuously attempted to keep her breathing pattern steady and calm. 1
"Get it now?"2
"Yeah, I'm sorry" she quietly let out, afraid that any louder and she would burst into hysterical sobs; afraid to show just how hurt she was by this sudden betrayal, expected and yet still excruciatingly shocking all the same. 3
Silence.4
She holds her breath and wills herself to stay in control, at least until she gets off the phone. 5
"Okay, I'll see you later then."6
"Yeah", and she slides the phone into the cradle with a small -chink- as something in her breaks, and animalistic wails echo out around her. 7
Hunched and shaking, she makes her way up the stairs, trying to stifle the sounds so as not to alarm her parents. All the while, she ponders on where she went wrong, unable and unwilling to accept that maybe it was her fault because for now, it was the little lies she told herself that kept her alive. 8
Flipping on the light in her room, she surveys the plasticine scene of a wasted life, collected and cluttered in that small space. And somehow, she wants something more. 9
"My god Belinda, you are so fucking pathetic you know that?" she bitterly laughed to herself and it was true, she was. 15 years old and she'd never done anything worth thinking about much less mentioning. An academic failure and physically challenged, she'd turned to cutting as an excuse for her behaviour as if that explained it all. 10
Slowly, as the tears dried and the dry sobs racking her body subsided, a memory from a year ago invaded her mind. Lying on the bed, she recalled what Jon had said to her then and all of this was juxtaposed with what Jon said now.11
/"I can change your life", he'd promised in a throaty whisper./12
"Get your life together, I'm sick of your whining. Do something about it instead"13
/"I can take you to world of magic and illusion. And I'll never let you go."/14
"You know why you don't have any friends anymore? Because nobody can stand your depression and morbidness. You leech all the joy out of everyone else."15
/"You don't ever have to change, I love you as you are."/16
"You're supposed to live your life and make those around you believe it's better than it really is, not go around telling people about your problems. They have stuff going on too, they don't need your issues on top of their issues. Get it now?"17
"Yeah", she breathed to herself, almost unconsciously, as she remembered how everything had changed so much. Yeah, maybe it was time to release everyone else from the chains she'd put on them. Maybe it was time to just let it all go. (And maybe even now, it was all about her.)18
Getting up, she walked to her sink, picked up the razor blade, and continued into the bathroom. Leaning down, she turned on the water in the tub, finding a certain peace in its soothing gurgling. Adjusting the temperature, she slid in fully clothed. After all, there was no point in embarrassing herself by being naked when she was found. 19
As the tub filled, she turned the water down to a small gush so that it wouldn't overflow at the end, but keep her warm as everything else fled. 20
Gritting her teeth in anticipation of the pain, she slashed open her left wrist, making sure to go over the thin blue vein pulsing in the middle. Gasping at the trill of pain burning it's way up her arm, she watched as the blood spilled over past scars and into the water.21
And she just closed her eyes, not wanting the fluorescent lighting of the bathroom to be the last thing she saw. 22
After a little while, the pain began to numb off and even as nausea overtook her, she was lost in the replay of that last conversation. Because yeah, she got it. 23
Author notes
yeah, I know it's cliched but you know why things are cliched and done again and again? because they're real and they happen a lot.
I commented on "flying" by tearsofarose and "cordelia" by jinxgirl.
I used choices 1 and 8:
1. She took a shaky breath, struggling to hold back her tears, but they came anyway.
8. " I can change your life," he promised in a throaty whisper
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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holy fuck monkies...lol...but no...that was rlly rlly good...rlly rlly good...i loved it...the last three paragraphs rlly got to me..."Gritting her teeth in anticipation of the pain, she slashed open her left wrist"...thst is very much how cutting is done...how u have to steel yourself first...and then...u threw this in "And she just closed her eyes, not wanting the fluorescent lighting of the bathroom to be the last thing she saw."...and that wld have been an amazing ending...very true to all the emotions and words that came before it...but u went one step further and tied it all together "Because yeah, she got it."...that made it perfect...applause for u
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This was really well written. The last line especially was great. I thought the conversation in her head was good too. Thanks for entering, good luck in my contest!
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omg, thats excellent! it may be cliched but its awesome! i can relate to it...alot... the whole being told noone wants ur problem on theirs...*shudders*
anyways, i absolutly love it! good work! -
Very sad, I like the clinche ness It gives it flair. Keep writting and good luck in the contest.
Bella -
i felt every single bit of emotion in this piece, it was really real, and brilliantly laid out. wow, this is an astounding piece of writing. just ohhh man, great werk.
<.123 -
OMFG! that was awsome, it's not really long but alot of emotion and i love it, so sad but very good!
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i really do love this! This isnt cliche or overdone, your words put a new spin on suicide because of unrequited love and a relationship that went sour. There are many perfectly painful moments buried in this wonder of a story:
'Flipping on the light in her room, she surveys the plasticine scene of a wasted life, collected and cluttered in that small space. And somehow, she wants something more.'
'And she just closed her eyes, not wanting the fluorescent lighting of the bathroom to be the last thing she saw.
After a little while, the pain began to numb off and even as nausea overtook her, she was lost in the replay of that last conversation. Because yeah, she got it. '
That last line really hit hard, the sarcasm and anger in it brought the whole thing together so well. This should be published! Good luck in the contest!
Love Autumns Ashes x x x
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This is a great piece. I like it a lot. Hope you do good on the contest.
~Sarah
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