One day a few invitations were sent out to six different people from different backgrounds and walks of life. But for one terror filled weekend they will be together. For each of them received an invitation to have a vacation of a lifetime in the bonny hills of Scotland. 1
Sara was the first to get to the hotel to await the others. She pondered over what this was all about.2
Mary arrived the next day in the morning along with Sally. Cindy walked in the hotel in the early afternoon.3
They all talked over the strange note that was sent to each of them from someone name Kira. For the only Kira they knew, died a long time ago when seven of them hung out back in middle school.4
Janet and Adam arrived at the same time and all six of them began to worry just a little bit. 5
The only member of the old gang not there, was the one that liked to play practical jokes on the gang. They were all called to a bus waiting for them to take them to the location of their stay. 6
They were told that for the next few days and nights this would be their home base for the vacation they had won. This was an old worn down church far from everything, just the sort of place that some ghost stories could have been written about.7
They found different places in the old church to set up as their sleeping arrangements and cooking area, as well as a bathroom location. In the room where they picked for cooking was a note, welcoming them to their nightmare. There was a small note for each of them, and it read…8
9
Greetings dear friends,10
If you are reading this then I must be dead.
I have had this plan for a long time
and there will be a one million dollar check
for the one of you that lives pass
your time here. Hope you all have fun.11
Kira12
13
They all looked at each other and Eric said, “No way could she have had this planned for us. Someone else must have tried to pull a fast one on us.” the others agreed. But, they all were not that sure either.14
As night started, they got themselves ready for sleep, when Adam wanted to know if they should just have a fire and tell ghost stories. The girls said why not as none wanted to retire right then anyways. So, they got a fire going and were joking around when a soft giggle came from the church. They had not heard that giggle In a long time. Kira’s giggle was so much different and they never heard Another giggle like that before. Sally thought she saw Kira at that point just floating by the doorway.15
They all went looking and no one saw her again. They skipped the stories and headed out to their rooms. That night as Sara slept, she heard a noise that woke her and Kira was standing over her with an axe and before she could scream, it was embedded in her chest.16
Morning came and the others found her and Mary wanted to leave the place right away. However, with the thought of winning the money, she thought she would wait a bit longer. They moved their things into a big room together, all that is but Adam. He still wanted His own room, but he did move closer to the main room.17
They went for a walk and came to a graveyard, there were only six graves there, and the headstones read in order. Sara, Mary, Janet, Cindy, Adam, and Sally. It was like they all were expected to die. Adam went back and with the help of Sally, they buried Sara in her gravesite.18
Night came early and as they were heading to bed, they heard the giggling again and knew that Kira was back to play. Cindy said they should build fires in the sleeping areas just for protection. All agreed it sounded good.19
Even with their fires going none heard Kira as a knife was used to cut Janet’s throat. None could see the young girl run away to play.20
Time was not on their side, and the remaining ones knew it as they buried Janet the next day. Even Adam started to wonder if it was worth it after all how could their friend have gotten one million dollars to begin with.21
Still, like the others he wanted that money for himself, some old debts were crashing down on his back and he wanted the money to take care of them. That night Sally died. No outward reason, but a smile graced her lips, for she had died in her sleep when Kira pushed her off the cliff in her dreams.22
So, thet buried Sally. That left only Mary, Cindy, and Adam. They moved all bedding into one of the rooms. No one thought the big room to be safe anymore. Night came and with just a whisper in Mary's ear she screamed and as Cindy lifted her head to see what was wrong, the blade caught her in the throat. Mary really screamed then and Adam yelled at Kira. 23
“We know it is you Kira. What is it you want.” Adam’s voice was not stable.24
“I want my playmates back. Do not worry, none will leave here, dearest Adam. I want you most of all, for all those times we were alone and you taught me all about our bodies,” was the reply given in Kira’s haunting voice.25
Adam and Mary placed Cindy in her plot and looked at each other. 26
“What are we to do, Adam? You were closer to her than any of us. What is it that she wants?” Mary was getting very scared and it showed in her voice.27
Adam looked and said nothing as he went to gather his things. 28
“Not sure about you, Mary. But, I am not sticking around here. So, are you coming back with me?”29
Mary also went to get her things, the two of them started out for town. When Kira showed up in front of them. “Where do you think you are going?”30
When they tried to pass Kira to go to the road, Mary slipped on some rocks and fell to her death. "Look what you caused Adam. Now poor Mary will never be able to play with me again. For she will not be in her resting place."31
Adam did not look back but kept walking, so he did not see the truck heading around the corner that ran him over. When the police showed up, they noticed that the truck should never had been able to move, as it was missing the engine and wheels.32
Kira wanted her playmates back. And knew how to get them all.33
So, if you see her anywhere near you, run for your life.34
Author notes
Just a chilly tale
A contest entry
- Scaary by Keir.
100 points, ended October 25, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Show off your talent X3 by ChottoLove83109.
600 points, ended January 16, 2009, 100 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Sorta reminded me of that one movie House on Haunted Hill except that movie didn't scare me half as much as this story. I won't be sleeping for the next year or so. Haha best scary story I've read so far and I've read quite a few


beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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OOOOOH, very good and very convincing. I sure hope nothing happens to my dear friends of childhood for I would not like an ending such as these.


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It doesn't seem that running from Kira works so well, either. Hopefully she doesn't need any more friends to play with. I wouldn't know Kira if I saw her, but I'll beware of an unusual giggle.
This is a cute though dark tale. I enjoyed the story, though it is similar to others I've read or seen in movies. I would have never stayed in the first place, a million dollars wouldn't be worth a five out of six chance of dying.
This story could use some fleshing out, more description and detail. You could describe the appearance of the six victims, their deaths, their emotions, etc. You could also add smells to the description of the church, the graveyard, and even their fear. More emotion would add to the impact of the story. These are just a few ideas you might wish to consider.
I like this story.
p2 She (pondered)
p15 sleep(,) when Adam
p15 fire going and (were) joking
p16 went looking and (no one saw) her again.
p17 (However, with) the thought of winning
p17 (He) still wanted (his) own room(, but) he did move closer
P22 (Still,) like the others he wanted
P22 No outward reason, but a smile (graced) her lips(, for) she had died
P23 So, (they) buried Sally. That (left) only
p25 bodies(," was) the reply given
p26 Adam and Mary (placed) Cindy in her plot
Andy


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oooo scary i liiike
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Started off reminding me of HillHouse
great hook in the beginning. Very creepy story...LOVED it! Great work!
Rian

1 - 5 of 5





