There I lay on the cool green grass, talking quietly to myself. 'Twas just another summer's day, nothing unusual about that. Still, there came a time when I had to stand. My body grew tired of resting. I had to become active again, I had to do something. I brushed the dark hair from my eyes, revealing the scene before me. A pool. A pool of clear water. Nothing stirred it. But that was soon to change.1
I peeled off that which restricted me, and I jumped. At first I gasped, the water was colder than I thought. I looked down, concerned about my little friends. Ha, they were fine. I submerged myself in the purity, and never felt more at peace. I continued to paddle, occasionally floating on my back. Not a cloud I saw, gazing to the sky.2
Such beauty there was in this day. Such solitude and peace. It made me forget my woes. Just what were they anyway..? Ah, I did not know, and did not care to know. The search for peace is a perilous quest, though I succeeded. For now.3
Something startled me in an instant. A creature came tumbling through the trees that surrounded my lost paradise. Sudden fear caught my breath. Should I leave the safety (or perhaps danger) of the pool, and see if this animal was all right?4
I ignored my better judgement and left the pool. I paid no heed to the fact I was still naked. The green figure before me groaned louder as I stepped closer toward it. Was it injured? Would I be able to heal it?5
All of a sudden, it leapt up, scaring me near to death. A roar escaped its open mouth, frightening away all the birds of this forest. I wished I'd had wings to fly away....6
I fell to the ground, trembling in horror at the size of the creature towering above me. I wanted to speak, my mouth opened, but no words would air. Watching its eyes, I realized it wished to cause me no harm. In fact, I saw pain in its eyes. It slumped back down against the tree it hit before. The noise it made next, was that of sorrow.7
The will to comfort and heal overcame me. I stood by its side and attempted a spell. It turned to me with fear in its eyes, and I stopped.8
"Who are you?" I asked.9
No answer, simply a mournful cry.10
"May I give you aid?"11
Again, no answer - just a tear. Then I felt something slip around my leg. A tail! And it belonged to the creature. Before I could utter another word, the creature had taken off above the trees, with me trailing behind in the tightened grip of its scaled tail.12
My heart pounding, I willed myself to remain calm. The creature would land soon, I imagined. I did realize that the creature was a dragon, but I simply refused to believe. Dragons were not real, they were just a legend, a myth. Even my past experiences had not taught me to believe.13
I grew cold. Being so high in the sky made me feel close to death, though I knew I was very much alive. I saw nothing, for my eyes were shut tight. Still the dragon cried. I could feel the pain through its touch, so much pain, I could barely tolerate it.14
Finally, we hit the ground. I could barely move upon my release. I needed clothing, but I was mostly concerned about my whereaboouts. The airborne journey had lasted a number of hours, and my bearings were non-existant. I saw no greenery, no light, simply darkness. A cliff, atop a high mountain.15
My eyes turned to the dragon. It cowered as I edged closer and closer. I raised my hands in an attempt to show my innocence. I was not there to harm. Surely it would have known already, for I was taken by it.16
"I need clothing," I said, gently. "Please would you be so kind as to guide me to where I may find some?"17
A sound came from the dragon's mouth. Such a mournful cry, it was almost human. Something inside was telling me to touch it. Obeying my instincts, I placed my hand softly on the dragon's head, stroking along its snout. Then... I became disorientated...18
I received a flash, something I had become accustomed to in my life as an empath. I saw images, and felt exactly what was felt by those in the images. This time, I saw a beautiful maiden standing by a pool, much like the one I swam in earlier. She was dressed in rags, yet looked as if she did not belong in such things. Her face was pained, and a tear lay upon her milky white cheek. Her long dark hair fell past her shoulders, and were tangled in the rags she was unfortunate to be wearing.19
No sooner had I accepted what I saw, it was over. The vision was lost. But the memory of that maiden by the pool would stay with me. She would be my quest.20
But first, some clothes....21
Author notes
Is it obvious what's happening? Should I be more ambiguous? I would appreciate some critical feedback. Thank you.
"May the Force be With You"
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Yep, I like this. I've read it before, but I'd just never got around to commenting on it. You need to continue with this, because it looks like it's gonna be something quite exciting. Get working on it now! Go!!!! Hehe. I like this, I really do. I like how the male character is an empath, you need to develop that, because I think it would be something that yer readers would really like to learn more about. Great start, just keep it going, okay? Okay.
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Yeah.. Damn writer's block..
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Hey! I remember you from the contest I held with my AP sister...I do wish you would've finished this...
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Firstly, thank you very very much for entering! Now on to your story... It is very good! A very original and intensely emotional piece. I love the description.. and how it is something somewhat mystical yet extremely down to earth at the same time. Thanks! Great work!
Love,
Katy
~LiquidLullaby~ -
Interesting...I like where this is going. It's definitely a very unique piece.
Thanks a bunch for entering and good luck!
Cassie
May the Force be with You -
Riyo was the name I used for a little while. I changed it back to my real name because I felt like it, heh. I am glad you stopped by..
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what a story... i really enjoyed it... and was able to stay with it throughout which i usually cannot... 'riyo' left me a message, but when i tried to go to 'riyo's' page, it was gone... then i saw your poem with this title... there are no coincidences
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I like where you're going with this I hope to see more. It looks like it will turn out to be a wonderful story.
Good luck
~Angel -
Very cute story don't keep us waiting too long for the next part,this was a lovely fantasy write a lot of fun to read, I wonder what my reaction would be if it happened to me beside that pool,so hurry up and give us some more of this charming story, all the best, lovely write, hugs Di
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Good So Far
I like it so far. I can't wait to read the rest of it. -
Ooooh, I am really liking where you are going with this. I hope to see more soon.
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This is fairly short, so it wouldn't hurt to just add it here. I look forward to reading more.
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Yes, I do intend to expand on my story, I was simply waiting for the inspiration... Shall I add to this or create a new chapter?
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....I'm not sure how this fits into romantic fantasy. I would really love for you to expand on it because it has a lot of potential. It actually almost reminds me of a story I began writing that is still not finished and with at least 40 or 41 chapters.
I hope you'll think about expanding this.
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