I always fell asleep to the sound of my mothers soothing voice as she spoke quietly into the phone through the walls. She'd try not to wake me, though she didn't know id been awake for hours just to hear her voice. I couldn't imagine falling asleep without hearing at least one word. It had become my routine since i was six, when I found out that my aunt would call from New York every night at ten to catch up. Even at the mature age of sixteen, I opened my ears and waited patiently beneath the blankets.1
Five minutes passed, nothing. Not even a snicker, whisper or gasp. Seven minutes, still nothing. I stared at my white circular alarm clock. Ten minutes and then the sound of my moms warm voice filled the hallway she paced on. Except something was different. Very different. She sounded frantic and worried. Her voice grew louder, no longer afraid of waking me. I sat up in my large queen sized bed, wrapping the blankets closer around my chilled legs. It was silent, then my door was suddenly creaking open and a burst of light spread all around me. I noticed my shadow on the wall.2
My mom walked in slowly, clutching the phone in her small hands. Her eyes were shiny and serious, even through the darkness I could tell. "I hope I didn't scare you. I'm sure you were sleeping."3
"Ma, what's wrong?"I asked, wrapping a thick strand of my curls around my index finger, nervous.4
"You remember your old best friend, dont you? I know it was a long time ago--"5
I nodded quickly. "Cameron."6
"Theres been bad new, honey."7
"Oh, god. Is Cam Okay? Did he get hurt? What-"8
She touched my hand momentarily. "Cameron is fine- but- but yesterday his parents were in a car accident. Late last night."9
I touched my hand to my face automatically. "Are they okay?"10
Mom just stared at me, shaking her head back and fourth. And just like that, the tears came down. I wasn't sure whos came harder.11
......12
Cameron had been my best friend ever since were were zero years old, if thats even an age. Our parents, best friends since before we were born. When my mom and dad got married, they moved to the country side of upstate new york and bought a huge country style house on a cliffside. It sounds all too fairy tale like to be true, but it is. The backyard is never ending, literally. Out of the window you can look out into the ocean and see the water stretching as far as the sky. My mom says that after they moved in, she grabbed my dads hand and they ran and went skinny dipping in the low waves, laughing the whole night long as if they were kids again.13
Soon after I was born on one of the hottest days of Summer, Cameron Smithholl was born next door. That's how our moms met, shopping for newborn baby clothes at a boutique downtown. He was dirty blonde, eyes as green as a four leaf clover, had a toothless smile and freckled cheeks leading over his nose. We, the Blakes', were totally opposite; curly black hair, grey eyes and orangey tan skin tones. Like night and day.14
I can clearly remember my earliest encounter with Cameron. I was learning to walk and was pretty good at it even at eleven months. Marie smithill had Cameron in a walker as she strolled down her driveway next door. I gazed up at my mom as she embraced the pale blonde woman in a tight hug. Marie then bent down to look at me, a smile on her freckly face. I grinned, reaching my hand out to touch her. Marie set non-walking Cameron in the grass beside me. His shaggy hair was in his face, as was my large spiraling curls in mine. We reached toward each others faces, touching the others hair and smiling goofily. And just like that, we were family.15
Birthdays, sleepovers, parties, school, holidays and vacations. Cameron and I did everything we could together without letting go of each others hands. He was my support system, my soul mate. My absolute best friend. In first grade a boy pulled my chair out from under me and I fell on my butt crying. Cameron ran around the table, pushing the boy out of his seat until he was the one sobbing and i was the one choking on my own giggles. In third grade, I stupidly tried stuffing my bra to look like the overdeveloped red head in my class and instead ended up with everyone finding out and laughing at me. Cameron was there to help gather to fallen tissues and lead me away from the crowd. In fourth grade, I had my first crush on an extremely tanned boy named Tony. But Tony told me he didn't like me, to my face. Instead he walked away holding hands with my friend Lilly, leaving me feeling crushed for the first time ever. Cameron had his arms around me as soon as I'd told him, saying everything was alright. I believed him. When Cameron received his first kiss in seventh grade, he shared his feelings with me about how it wasn't as good as he thought it would be and how disappointed he was.I was there, sliding my arm over his shoulder and offering to make his favorite shortbread cookies.16
The summer before our first year of high school, we built a campfire in his backyard underneath a tall oak tree. As we lay under the few twinkling stars, Cam took my hand and said that he loved me, would always always love me. I rolled over and kissed him on the cheek, saying it back and watching his face flush red. We were true best friends.17
After only a week of ninth grade, Cam said he had some bad news to tell me. He'd climbed through my bedroom window at midnight and sat on my bed, pretzel style. I noticed the pained and worried look on his face as he held both my hands tightly. Id looked down at our fingers twined together, noticing how pretty our skin looked beside such a difference in tone. When i looked up at him, I knew right away.18
"Im moving tomorrow,"he had whispered, "my parents just told me when I got him. I had no idea."19
"Tomorrow?"20
He nodded and the tears fell from my eyes. I recall his hand reaching up to my face, wiping the salty drops away. I touched his fingers. "Don't go Cammy...you cant.."I cried weakly.21
Our foreheads pressed together as he leaned against me, hiding his face in my shoulder so I wouldn't see him cry. He promised that he would never cry in front of me because he didn't want me to cry too. But I didn't have to see it, I could feel it. And of course my eyes didn't hold out long after.22
So he moved the next day, just like that. Wed spent the day moping and laying by the shore in the sand, talking about anything but the fact that he'd be miles away in South Carolina in a matter of hours. When our parents were done hugging and crying quietly in each others arms, Cameron gave me the scrapbook we'd made years before and a little box that sound DONT OPEN TILL YOU REALLY MISS ME, MISS ME. "Remember me forever okay? 'Cause i will always remember you,"he'd whispered in my ear. I hugged him tight while our parents watched proudly.23
"F-forever."I sniffled.24
He let go of my hand for the first time that day. "Bye, Kenzie."25
"Bye Cammy.."26
He was gone.27
......28
A few days after the news about Marie and Daniel Smithhill, my mom had even more news for me. I could tell by her face. I was sitting outside in the dewy grass, throwing a slobbery red rubber bone for my dog Energizer. He lept through the grass like a lion on the hunt, never bringing the bone back without a fight. My mom walked out of the house and leaned against the railing of the porch deck, a bottle of diet green tea in her hand.29
"Hey,"she said softly. Her long curly black hair was pulled back into a ponytail. 30
I attempted a smile. "Hey."31
"So, there's something I have to tell you."32
My face winced. "Good or bad?"33
"Pretty good, id think so."34
"I can handle pretty good,"I said.35
She took a sip. "Cameron doesn't have any family close by. And the closest people to family he has, is us. Dad and I have been talking and we think it would be a pretty good idea if Cameron came to live with us for a while, you know, to get his feet back on the ground. To help him. I know its been two years since you've seen him, but he really has no where else to go. And you two were so, so close.."36
My heart lifted. "Really? God, mom, thats-"37
"Crazy I know. What do you think? It'll be hard but-"38
"No! No, it's an amazing idea."39
"Except, hes hurting alot right now hun. He'll need alot of help, he isn't doing so well of course."40
It hurt me to even think that. "We can help him."41
I didnt think it would be so soon but less than two weeks later, my dad pulled up in the front cul-de-sac. My heart almost lept out of my chest but i managed to open the front door and attempt to look as patience as possible. As I stood there on the porch, I saw a tall platinum blonde with hair in his face, following my dad up the three steps. He didnt look up until my voice finally found itself.42
"Hi, daddy. Hey... Cam."My voice came out slow and shaky.43
Cameron looked up instantly. He was no longer a skinny, short, hyper dirty blonde kid. He was towering over my dad, muscular with whitish blonde hair and a dark rim under his eyes. They were still clover green, but the happy glint in them were gone. He looked dazed, vacant. My eyes stung.44
"H-hey.. Kenzie."His voice broken off and he looked away, shoving his hands into his skinny jeans pocked. He looked weak, like he could fall over any minute.45
"Cammy.."I sputtered out, and I went over to catch him before he fell.46
Author notes
The title of this story is the title of a song i love, Beautiful rescue by this providence. They gave me inspiration for this story. =] Oh, and each chapter is the name of a song, or lyrics from it.
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Comments
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I really liked this. Although there were so, so many mistakes (I spent an hour correcting) the detail and feeling you put into this made it quite exceptional. I am surprised there are no comments on this so far. The quality of this was well enough to distract me from your (sorry) grammatical problems, and punctuation. Although I did get a bit exasperated by some careless mistakes, which could have been prevented by simple proof-reading.
In the first paragraph:
'id' should be 'I'd'
'i' should be capitalised.
"It had become my routine since i was six, when I found out that my aunt would call from New York every night at ten to catch up. " This sentence is a little jumbled up. Maybe you should add a comma after 'ten', just to make it easier for the reader. Or, even better, you could delete "to catch up".
Paragraph two:
"moms" should be "mom's"
"the hallway she paced on." I'm not entirely sure what you mean here. Perhaps you mean "the hallway she paced." or maybe "the hallway, and she paced on." Please clarify this.
"I sat up in my large queen sized bed, wrapping the blankets closer around my chilled legs." I just feel like you are trying to cram too much detail into this sentence, and it doesn't sound right. I reckon it would sound much better if you deleted "large queen sized". Either way, if you kept it, "large" would need a comma after it, and "queen sized" needs a hyphen.
"suddenly creaking open" sounds passive, and creaking, a usual slow, gradual process could hardly be sudden. Maybe it should be "It was silent, then my door creaked open, and a burst of light spread all around me."
Paragraph three:
"...I'm sure you were sleeping."" I think you mean she "was sure".
Paragraph five:
"old best friend" needs a comma after "old"
"dont" needs an apostrophe.
Paragraph seven:
"theres" needs an apostrophe...
"new" should have an 's'
Paragraph eight:
"god" needs to be capitalised.
"Okay" needs to be de-capitalised.
Paragraph eleven:
"whos" should be "whose" (I got a chill reading this sentence)
Paragraph thirteen:
Countryside is one word.
"new york" should be capitalised.
"huge country style" should be "huge, country-style".
"fairy tale like" should be "fairytale-like"
"never ending" is one word.
"Out of the window..." needs a comma after window. (lovely image)
And most of the paragraph is written in the wrong tense.
"dads" needs an apostrophe.
need a comma after "hand".
Paragraph fourteen:
"Soon after" needs a comma very soon after after.
The comma after "summer" should be a semicolon.
the comma after met should be a semicolon too.
"totally opposite" needs a "the" in the middle.
Paragraph fifteen:
You need a comma after "good at it"
"smithill" captial 's'. And wasn't the name "Smithholl" or something?
Paragraph sixteen:
"soul mate" .. one word...
"each others" apostrophe...
"i" needs capitalisation.
"In third grade, I stupidly tried stuffing my bra to look like the overdeveloped red head in my class and instead ended up with everyone finding out and laughing at me." Nice image, but as far as I know, girls in third grade don't even wear bras. Maybe she should just stuff the tissues down her "dress"? Oh and "red head" is one word. You need a comma after "class". Or maybe you could make the event take place a little later?
"alright" should be "all right".
"When Cameron received his first kiss in seventh grade, he shared his feelings with me about how it wasn't as good as he thought it would be and how disappointed he was." You need a comma after "me" and "be"
Paragraph nineteen:
"Im" needs an apostrophe.
"got him" I assume is supposed to be "got home".
Parapraph twenty-one:
"cant" needs an apostrophe, pleasey.
Paragraph twenty-three:
"Wed" needs an apostropheeee.
"sound DONT OPEN TILL YOU REALLY MISS ME, MISS ME." should be "said" and the rest needs to be in inverted commas. and "DONT" needs an apostrophe.
"i" begs you for a capital.
Paragraph twenty-nine:
"dog Energizer" really wants a comma inbetween.
Paragraph thirty-four
""Pretty good, id think so."" should be either "Pretty good. I'd think so." or "Pretty good, I think."
Paragragh thirty-six:
"its" needs an apostrophe.
"no where" is one word.
Paragraph thirty-seven:
"mom" needs to be capitalised.
Paragraph forty:
"alot" is two words.
"well of" needs a comma inbetween.
Paragraph forty-two:
"chest but i" comma after chest, capital 'I'
"patience" should be "patient".
Paragraph forty-three:
"daddy" needs to be capitalised.
Paragraph forty-four:
"hyper dirty blonde" comma after "hyper" and "dirty"
Paragraph forty-five:
"broken" should be "broke".
"jeans pocked" should be "jeans' pocket"
Thank you for the great read. You have raw talent. Keep on writing.

