As I walk down the concrete pavement,1
and the daytime slowly dies.2
I cannot help but notice,3
that this world is built on lies.4
All values and decency,5
have long since left this place.6
And as i look around me,7
hate stares me in the face.8
A beggar man holds out his hat,9
as citizens walk by.10
And they all refuse his plea,11
though none of them say why.12
A skinny pregnant teenage girl,13
is rummaging through bins.14
Her parents left her long ago,15
They won't forgive her sins.16
A group of guys are lighting up,17
syringes in their arms.18
It helps them all to ease their pain,19
who cares if it's just harm.20
A newspaper caught by the wind21
lands deftly at my feet.22
The headline reads "All Hope Is Lost"23
I can't help but agree.24
What happened to those days gone by,25
The world's choked with the blood.26
Of good true human beings,27
Love's trampled in the mud.28
Life's become so meaningless,29
Heartless brutality.30
Is everywhere that i can look,31
Where can all that love be.32
I pray for some salvation,33
from the hope that's up above.34
Deliver us from evil,35
and help bring back the love.
Author notes
I hope you like it!
A contest entry
- Let The Music Be Your Inspiration! by Adelaide Blood.
350 points, ended November 21, 2008, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Inspiration from Entertainment by So Strange.
250 points, ended January 15, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Points Up For Grabs. by Savage.
817 points, ended January 23, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Make me jealous! by Lois.Stone.
1300 points, ended March 24, 60 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - You know you are a poet by trekkergirl.
100 points, ended May 22, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I want your Gold by trekkergirl.
100 points, ended June 1, 24 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Best Only by DeathByChocolate.
186 points, ended July 10, 46 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - For the Poetic Soul by Asfand.
350 points, ended October 29, 54 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Brilliantly simplistic.
Excellent flow.
Wonderful subject matter and emotionally charged.
Great work, thanks for entering and good luck! -
Thats very awesome! Love the way its written. Finalist!!!!!!!!!!


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Thanks loads
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actually as a poem I really do like it. Wrote very well. Flows excellent. Uses imagery well. And I like the theme or subject of the poem. Had I asked for any type of poem I would jump on this one saying how wonderful it was.
However, you did not use the prompt I gave you... You know you are a poet when...
Thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering this into my contest. -
Brilliant! I really like this, alot!
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Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it.
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this is amazing, the way you wrote and the meaning of it. it's just wow. I wish I could write something this good. defiantly keep writing!!!!! so that I can keep reading.
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Thankyou so much, I'm so pleased you liked my poem and took the time to give me such positive feedback
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Whoa. You are definitely a finalist. I loved this piece of work and I think it went very well with that song. I think you have a true sense of emotion and you really put forth a wonderful effort in this piece of writing... but you might want to look at line 10, where you misspelled citizens. Other then that, this piece of poetry was just plain fantastic.
I hope you continue writing... and I shall continue reading thsoe writings when you do, because they are full of meaning and emotional to the extreme. I love poetry that shows how you care and how you feel... it's real and raw, something that I love in poetry and songs.
Keep up the great work. I look forward to many more stories of yours. -
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Thankyou so much, especially for the gold in the contest!
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Wow, this was beautifully written! I love this poem! You describe the scene and the emotions so well within this poem that I was captured by the very first few lines. I very much enjoyed reading this!


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oh man that was frekin awsome.. i loved it.. it was sooo damn goood. i mean you wrote this like a pro.. describing every1s lives and still rhyming it.. man ur amazing.. im a fan.. 3 appluses no doubt.. *salutes*
take care now
bye =D

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Aw, thanks so much! i'm chuffed you liked it and thanks for the applause!
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citezens = citizens
rummiging = rummaging
Those are all I saw as spelling errors
Besides that this was a pretty decent poem, and I liked it quite a bit, and since I forgot to put in the rules that I didn't want poems so much, this is still a valid entry, and it went well with the song and lyrics. Well done and good luck! ^^


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