What say I do you in, too?

Nobody knows.1

But ...2

But They have feelings, too.3

You see them erect, standing proud, tall and stiff, and you think: What, them? Nonsense!4

But you are one of the deaf ones. You ALL are.5

You don't hear them moan when you caress and swing them, hiss in annoyance as you knock them ...6

SQUEAL, as you slam them.7

I do. I'm special.8

Oh yes I am.9

Shall I tell you, about my first time? No, no, don't answer. I'll tell you anyway.10

She was a cute one. I liked her, I really did. Each morning, after waking up, I would gaze at her as rays from the morning sun splayed across her naked body, giving her brown skin a beautiful lustrous sheen.11

I liked her. I really did.12

But one day, she began to sing.13

It was a shrill sound. It hurt my ears. It ...14

It PISSED ME OFF.15

"Shut up," I pleaded. But she wouldn't listen. The singing only got louder.16

"Shut up!" I roared, and punched her. 17

She cried out in pain. And the singing stopped, for awhile. But it picked up again.18

I panted in frustration. Was that what she wanted? Pain? Then, then ...19

She would GET IT.20

And so I slammed her. Hard.21

Bang!22

Bang!23

BANG!24

OooOoooh! 25

If only you could have heard her screams! Such a, such a ...26

Such an EMPOWERING sound.27

But the singing always returned. The bitch wanted more.28

I raced down the stairs. I needed tools: A hammer, nails. An axe? I trembled in exhilaration - yeah, an axe would be good. But there was none to be found, and I settled for a meat cleaver.29

I returned to my room. She stared at me impassively, and her shrill voice battered my ears. She really wanted this, didn't she?30

The nails went in. One, after another, after another, after another.31

After another.32

Her shrieks were music to my ears. 33

I slashed at her with the cleaver. Bits and pieces of her began to flake off. They landed on the floor. They got into my eyes. 34

But she was a tough one. I hacked till both my arms were sore, until my sweat was pooling on the floor - but when her wailing had subsided, she kept on singing.35

KEPT ON SINGING!36

And then an idea struck me. I began to laugh maniacally. I went out and bought ...37

Termites.38

(Hm? Duh - of course they can be bought. Google it.)39

She hated those termites. She really did. And for weeks afterwards, I slept to the sound of her caterwauling.40

As, inch by inch, she was devoured from within.41

And I had sweet dreams.42

So. That was my first time. And from that day, I never really feel ALIVE unless I'm desecrating one of her kind. 43

Call it a fetish if you want, but tell me ...44

Tell me, you living door.45

What say I do you in, too?