1
The slow insistent drip of water needled its way into her brain. Wincing with a sharp twinge, she rose, her choppy hair tickling the defined cheek bones. With a defeated sigh and slump to her walk, she meandered into the hallway. 2
She shuddered at the first bit of stagnant air, her breath coming in choking gasps. Her feet dragged along, whispering against the cold tiles. The silence wrapped around her, sucking greedily at her small whimpers. The weight of a thousand awful thoughts forced the wind out of her mouth as she desperately tried to suck it back in.3
Her hands trembled as she looked down upon them. The tremor begins to run along her spine sending her whole body into a convulsion. Suppressed sobs danced along her back, but she stifled the urge to cry. The tears rip at her eyes, trying to tear free of the restraint she has strapped onto them. 4
With a sharp bite, her nails broke the skin on her tender palm. She smirked beneath her nest of hair. Nearing the end of the hall she slowly uncurled her fingers, small half moon incisions on her palm pooling with blood. The steel of the door knob is cold to the touch, but felt good on her wounds. The door swept open with slow menacing scrape. She flinched at the sound, the grating ripping on her ears. 5
The sanctity of the white walls and floor was defiled by a scarlet stain. She followed the ripples lapping at a pale hand to an arm…..then to a face. Splattered with a delicate crimson, the face was slack, a pasty white. The flecks of red stood out screaming against the lost pigment. 6
The girl sank to her knees in a slump, her trembling increasing. The white face seemed to stare at her accusingly; she looked away, but the image didn't fade in her mind. With another strangled breath she steeled herself before turning back. The soft sucking sound of blood on skin was sickening. 7
The cloth was heavy and wet, squirming like a dying fish squishing on the ground as she crawled over it. The cool liquid stained her pale knobby knees as she slithered across the body’s nightgown. The cloth fluttered around the body, like scattering flower petals. Her hand brushed something soft and wet, and she choked down a gag when she realized it wasn't cloth.8
The bile crawled up her throat and burned at her mouth, she swallowed it back as she reached a trembling hand forward for the stained knife that lay in the cold waxy hand. She calmed as she felt the weight of it rest in her palm. 9
With a slow deliberate motion she brought the glinting silver above her head, and with a strike as sure as a cobra’s head, she plunged it into her head. Crimson liquid trickled down from her chest. She coughed, and blood plastered onto her lips, dripping onto her chin. 10
Her eyes misted and she fell forward, landing with a soft thud onto her friend. 11
Author notes
4. The white face seemed to stare at her accusingly; she looked away, but the image didn't fade in her mind.
Ah, Sunny Jim helped me write this, we kinda went back and forth spewing random ness. It was a colaberation! Whoot!
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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a very descriptiv3 write..you have used some excellent lines throughout..good luck in the contest...
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The images you described in this were so real... I saw everything happening so clearly. Great description. This is very dramatic and interesting. Good write, good luck in my contest! Jinx
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Found this very visual and very easy read. Really could get a vison (like a movie) playing in my head. One i found very interesting is:
The cloth was heavy and wet, squirming like a dying fish squishing on the ground as she crawled over it. The cool liquid stained her pale knobby knees as she slithered across the body’s nightgown. The cloth fluttered around the body, like scattering flower petals. Her hand brushed something soft and wet, and she choked down a gag when she realized it wasn't cloth.
this is very good! Kudos
-Amy...would have liked to have know what sentance you were given before the write tho....just a thought.

