A Fragment of Peace- Chapter 6

I spent much of the following week in my own garden, under my favourite tree there. It was small and cute, at the very end of our garden, tucked away out of sight at the edge of the field. The grass didn’t get cut here, so I could easily sit there for a whole day without anyone but my cat finding me. You couldn’t see this part of the garden from the house, there was a line of conifers creating a tall divide through the garden. Also even if you walked out into the meadow area I was in, the grass was so long and wild, that I could creep through the grass and loop round behind anyone who came down here. I know because I’ve done it many times. Willow is the only one to notice my movement, yet she often joins in, she becomes a cheeky little kitten again. 1

I sat underneath the tree and spoke to the Goddess, I do this a lot actually, its quite hard to believe someone once so taken with science, now does not trust it completely. I know my mind plays tricks on me, it does on most, but my brain goes a step or three further than the average human. But yes, I believe, to some extent about spirits and energies. I believe in the Goddess, defiantly. I trust her, completely. She seems to be the only one in my life now that I trust. A deity…2

I had no idea what to do, I wanted out, out of everything, out of this place, out of this house, out of this life, into her arms… I shook my head again, I must stop thinking this. I can’t keep thinking this, I mean, for a start, she’s not human. I’m not going to see her anymore. And I don’t even know her… But those eyes…swam in front of me. Like I couldn’t escape. Why the hell did I have to have feelings for a complete stranger, a fae stranger at that. I mean why? Why did I loose my Grandparents? Why did I loose my girlfriend? Why did I have the sleeping problem. Why me? Why?!3

I know I shouldn’t be mad, I get angry sometimes though, life isn’t fair, but then it has to balance. Like a giant ferris wheel, or so I try to tell myself. I tell myself it makes me a stronger person, but then I think that if I was such a strong person, then…why would this happen to me?4

Si… she seemed to get me, being around her just… gave me peace. I know faeries and children of the Goddess have that effect, but…I’m sure there is more to it than that.5

I picked up my journal and pencil and headed for the house. It was probably dinner, and I didn’t want my parents to see me with a tear-stained face6