I have a secret
That I keep to myself
No one else knows it
And yet I want to scream it out loud
I want to shout it out
But I have no voice to launch out loud
My secret is dark
And terrifying somewhat
I see demons
, Witches
Ghosts
And all the devilish hosts
They come in the night
To feast upon my flesh
Until there children are fed
In the morning they come
To drink the blood in my veins
They drink until nothing is left
In the afternoon they come
To feast upon my organs
They feast until there no more
In the evening they come
To pick their teeth with my bones
Then I lie there
Death inches away
Until the moon comes
Then the nightmare
I call my life starts all over again
I do not live
I just exist
To keep the demons at rest
That’s my duty
And it’s for the best
During the night I am born
During the day I slowly die
And I die in the evening
Only to be brought back to life in the night
I have a secret
That no one else knows
Yet I want to scream it out loud
Bu t I have no voice to launch it with
Can you help me?
I doubt you can
For if you do
The demons next victim
Will be
You.
A contest entry
- poetry by Alyana.
100 points, ended October 8, 2008, 25 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - September New Member Contest by SW Greeters.
350 points, ended October 4, 2008, 10 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Message From Your Heart Through Poetry by Shadow-Kissed.
175 points, ended May 16, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
Spectacular. I love the flow of the poem and the choppy ending. It was amazing. The morbidity was catchy. Well Done.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
-Chantale
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
-
Oooh creepy! I LOVE the ending, so good!!!!!!
just a few correction....
Line 15: Until there children are fed
'there' i think should be 'their'
Line 10 there is a random coma that I dont think should be there...
-
Hm, so many comments about poetry on SW... oh, well my turn to comment. I actually really liked this. Its quite creapy and well writen. I'd give it a few quick readthroughs to catch your misplaced spaces and whatnot but otherwise I think you did very well. Keeping writing peotry you have a nack for it.
-
Me Wuvs it! *huggies* I see all those hateful comments down there and I just want to say.......YOU CAN ALL GET SCREWED!!!!! >.> This is really good and who cares if its a poem...I certainly don't! not all Demons are evil either but you don't see me complaining!!!! Grr those comments piss me off! I say this is really great and you should write more like it
-
This is not a bad poem, and an enjoyable read. The new members' contest doesn't allow poems to be entered, however. Sorry! Best of luck to you in the other contests you've entered, and welcome to the site!
-
Sorry no poems, only prose. But good luck in the other contest.
Brooke
greeter -
Not all witches are evil. Besides, you entered a poem in this contest which only calls for stories. Thank you for being interested in entering a contest and welcome to Storywrite.
-
Hmm.
I gather by the format that this is a poem. For the New Member contest, only stories are allowed. Also this doesn't seem to fit the prompts of the contest. If you'd like to check out our poetry site, go to the 'poetry' link at the bottom of the page. Your password an user name should work there.
If we can be of any assistance, let us know. Welcome to Storywrite.
Andy, greeter
-
Good morning and welcome to SW; and thanks for sharing your work with us.
You certain have a dark and gory bit of narration here. It is almost lyrical—but not quite.
I would consider expanding on your idea and creating some action to draw the readers into your tale.
Good luck in the contests you have entered. I look forward to seeing more of your work.
Geri
-
Hey witches are not evil....I resent that..............*glares*....no further comment
Blessed Be
Lauren -
oh and make sure you read the rules! it looks like you forgot a couple things :]]]
-
woa, creepy, this is cool, good job
snaps and good luck!
Alyana
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
