A Flower That Hides It's Petals Never Blooms (Introduction)

A Flower That Hides It’s Petals Never Blooms1

Introduction2

“Play, lets play,It’s so cold…so alone…”(“Neo geisha” by Zeromancer)3

Have you ever wondered why life has a way of strangling your very means of happiness, and waving its dead, rotting corpse right in front of your face? As if you had no where to go, nothing to do, today is dead, long live tomorrow, the day that never comes. 4

I know, pretty kick ass introduction right? Well, I guess some basic introduction is in order:5

Name: Kevin6

Age:18(I’m so friggin young)7

Eye color: Brown8

Hair color:Brown9

Height: 5’1110

Voice: pleasant11

Attitude: Vindictive, vengeful, rebellious, egotisitcal, cynical, perfection, selfish, non-chalant, non-conformist, homicidal against homicide, appreciative of suicide, decadent, sophistication, pin up, liar, thief, greedy, materialistic, ex-alcoholic, ex-addict, ex-self mutilator, excommunicated, withered orchid, darkness consumed, black and white, situational, the dawn, the twilight, under and over handed, what everyone dares not to be.12

I know, I really haven’t lived a very long life. So why should you even read this journal of sorts? I have been through many things. My goal is not to redeem myself through my bad choices and actions, but to give an insight into the mind of someone who has been down on their luck, pinned against themself, pillaged by society, raped, beaten, prostituted, used, and is the common enemy of this world.13

I can say this, I know this is an unorthodox introduction to any book anyone could have ever read; however, my intentions, for once, are pure. I have ruined my relationship with my family, with friends, and with myself. I am a walking discrepinsy. Words leave my mouth, and I don’t even know if I can trust them anymore. I live in darkness because it easier to face nothing than everything at once. If you have a child, a friend, a relative, a neighbor, or even a co-worker like me, by reading this you will be able to understand them. You will be able to understand what people like me go through everyday. 14

We are a very peculiar few. Labelled under many titles like “Goth”, “Emo”, “Grunge”, “Scene”, etc. Of course, there are many sub sections of each of them. Labelled by the music that permeates their brain, the stories they read when they were little where they secretly rooted for the bad guys because they mirrored what they wanted. We are defined by what scares society. We are “Satanists”, “Pagans”, “Gypsies”, “anarchists”, “atheists”. We are a part of everyone. We are people. 15

This is my memorandom for you. A compendulum of secrets of sorts. A place where you can seek out answers to those questions you are afraid to ask. I am an open book…how ironic. 16