"Welcome to the halls of of the realm". "You are probaley wondering why you are here listening to an old man like me but you have come for the sword....yes?".
"Yeah why?".
"nothing its just that the candles in this room are not lit thats why it's so dark see if you can light them all so I can see the room and your face".
Max walked around and he stoped and said "Ok I'll try".
"Good child do you know any fire magic"?
"I do but it's only a small flame that should be enough for the candles". Max walked around lighting te candles and soon the whole room lit up and he saw the old man there with the sword in his hands he walked over to him and said "Well done child you are worthy of this sword s abilities but this swords power remain dormant so you need to find he key to those hidden powers and unlock them". "I'll try my best".
"One more thing before you go boy you should train before you start going on adventures".
"I will train master Syranos".
"good Max now go forth and make your village proud".1
3 days later. Max was out side the village training with his father until there was word of a strange woman in thge village who came from a far away city Max thought it'd be fun to go take a look so he went to where this woman was staying there were people everywhere he finally got his eyes on her she was able to use magic she was adept at it to she was making heavy objects float into the air she was conjuring pices of earth and sculpting them into statues for people and the weird thing was she wasn't asking for money only people smiles. Max walked up to her when noone was around any more and said "HI welcome Vindion village enjoting your stay here?" She smiled and said "Yes I am thank you". Max sat down next to her and said "So whats your name"? "Hisana". "Well hisana enjoy your stay here and I fyou need any thing You can go see our leader or you can go to that portal over there to the halls of the relm and speak to master Syranos or another sage there".2
Max walked away and Hisana pulled out a small animal and said "Hey Liz mind doing me a favour and follow that guy over there". the creature just gave a little squeak and raushed down her arm and crwaled into Max's pocket. Max went back to where he was training but his father was gone "Must have went back home". He continued training until a wolf appeared Max saw it and watched closely and after a while it pounced at him and Max killed it and more appeared and suronned him he then got tired and his sword begun to glow red and he was covered in the glow the sword stoped glowing and he had armour on and seemed to know this armour somehow his sword had changed as well the wolves didn't care about the armour Ma was fighting endlessly and soon he got annoyed at the wolves appearing out of nowhere he felt a burst of energy he bean to glow red again and soon he yelled "Phoenix strike"! an explosion surronded him and he burst out of it and tower of fire rose from under the wolves the whole village saw the explosion they all rushed out to find Max in this mysterious armour Hisana walked out and said "What happened". Max was panting the armour disapeaered and and the sword returned to normal max fainted but just before he said "Phoenix armour". What was this Phoenix aromour he spoke of? Hisanas little creature jumped out of maxs pocket and ran up hisanas arm and squeaked in her ear. Hisana whispered to it "So he was fighting wolves"? it gave a little nod.
what do you think
Comments
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Great start Max need to space the words i nearly got lost in the story lol Awww cute liz heheh love it keep going XD
DNY--

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hehehe be careful Liz is shy and plus it bites
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I have a few suggestions for you. It's much easier to read and understand what's going on when you create a new paragraph every time someone new speaks. Two or more people should never speak in the same paragraph unless its a crowd yelling something collectively. There are just a few spelling errors, but I think it's just due to typing too fast. All in all, good start! Keep up the work! -Liz
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thanks for the tip ill use that frmo now on
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