Beginning
"In loving memory of Jeys Endleton1
First true love who still holds my heart in his death-cooled fingers."2
From where I’m sitting I can’t actually see the words, because they’re on the other side of the cross, but I know they’re there anyway. I have my back to the grave at the moment, leaning my spine on the icy stone, which is cold even through my shirt. A rose is brushing on my foot, scattering dewdrops on my old trainers. Over the hill and between the old pine trees, I can see the sun rising, spilling blood red onto the clouds. The colour is too strong for my eyes so I turn back to looking west, where the sky is darker. I can see a star or two, but most are hidden behind the smog. The sounds of early morning traffic are beginning and I have to go. Shrugging, I get to my feet and brush the leaves off me.3
Middle
As I stand there staring at the place, rain soaking down on me, the door opens. Temerise is standing there watching me, leaning on the doorframe with his arms folded. “Are you coming in?” he asks eventually. I can’t find a way to respond so I just stare at him. He looks more tired than I remembered, and I’m sure he’s thinner. His eyes have a hollow, empty look… the sort of look Jeys had after he died. I can feel tears well within my eyes at the memory and clench my jaw to stop them spilling. After a few moments of waiting for a response, Temerise sighs. “Come in, Jalie. You’re wet.”4
End
Temerise got to his feet and stretched, then took my cup and went back into the kitchen. I sat there on his couch, looking at his painted stars. They hadn’t been there when I visited with Jeys, which meant Temerise had put them there. And as I looked closer, I realised many of the stars had names under. The one directly over the fire has tiny gold writing, spelling out the word Jeys. I took a deep breath of relief. He loved him after all. And Jeys must know it now, because he was up there, free as the stars and waiting patiently for me. After all, my life went on, in loving memory of Jeys Endleton.5
First true love who still holds my heart in his death-cooled fingers. 6
Author notes
Lol, choosing the middle paragraph was hard. I had to think about what mystery I wished to leave and what clues I wanted to give. I hope I did it ok. 
. *throws cookies around*
A contest entry
- Beginning, Middle and End Paragraphs - Easy Points! by Melancholic Smile.
375 points, ended October 17, 2008, 33 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I've read this story in its entirety, and I think you chose your middle paragraph very well. It gives a little bit of hint, but keeps much hidden. Very good way to reel in the readers. No wonder you won a trophy!
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Thanks very much
glad you thought I did a good job
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The first paragraph completely reeled me in - I loved it This is so well written, there is something really beautiful about it and it was a pleasure to read the teaser. I will definetly be adding this to my list of stories to read in full. A great entry - thanks for submitting and good luck
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thanks so much. I'm glad you liked it . ^_^, I hope the full lives up to expectations..
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I have to agree with book girl I adored how you used "First true love who still holds my heart in his death-cooled fingers."
At the beginning the end it sort of in a way held the story together and complimented the whole tease as a peice. I really am liking it. Love the nams btw...
GOOD LUCK
*blair-Temaria
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Thanks very much, I'm really glad you liked it.. ^__^! Thanks for reading
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I love it! You have me totally intrigued. I think you did a splendid job of not saying too much nor too little.
The use of "First true love who still holds my heart in his death-cooled fingers" at the beginning and then again at the end is great. (Now we just need to know all the in-between details you haven't written yet!)
The only little thing I noticed a bit off, maybe, was that the ending switches to past tense. (I do that myself, don't think I'm getting on my 'high horse' or anything!)
Beautifully done!! Sorry I only have two applause.
beginning: 5, ending: 5.
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Heh, I'm really really glad you liked it.. ^_^. Heh, I can't believe I never noticed that. And I've had this story commented on heaps, lol, and you're the first to notice, so great job ! Thanks for that, I'll try and fix it as soon as I have a minute. I need to do major editing on lots of my stuff, lol, but thanks very much for reading it . Heh, the rest is up, if you feel like reading it, but I'm not asking, 'cause I know how irritating that is,
I get it a lot and I never have the heart to say no. 
. Thanks for reading and commenting .
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