Reality

This is a story that you may not understand.
It is one that sheds light on lifes horrors, life's harsh realities.
It's a world you would never want to enter, only to understand the mind of a killer.1

*****
The Clock ticked with a mezmerising rythem, though the house lay empty. No one was there to hear the time pass by. If you dont hear it, then time seems to stand still.
At this time, the voices often echoed throught the halls of this lively home. Not today.
Never before had this house bared such silence, never had the silence bared such fear. Not a single footstep was laid upon the many floors.
No dreams were drempt...
No thoughts were conjured...
Just the dampened emptiness of silence.
If one were to enter the house right now,
they would be disturbing thoes among the dead.
For this house was nothing but a grave now. The fact still remains that the house is empty, but in the sense that it holds not a single soul.
And still the rythimic tick...tock...tick...tock drills on. Echoing, as if trying to make the silence unknown.
The doors of the three rooms remain open.
The one of the youngest daughter is light pink, yet splattered with a dark red.
Walking in would cause the craziest person to break down.
The youngest daughter still lies in her bed, thought to be peacefully sleeping, but her pink bed spread is soaked with her life. If you were to try and stir her, she would remain in her current state, peacefully sleeping.
It is the same in the next room...
This room held the death of the older son. He lay on the floor, as if he tried to run, but fell before reaching the door.
His, once bright, room now held a weary darkness, as he lay asleep on the floor.
The last room was different, empty.
But if you made your way to the small bathroom, you would find the deathly stillness of the mother. She seemed to be awake, for her eyes remained open, dried tears on her cheeks.
She lay naked in the bathtub, her arms drapped over the sides, as if she tried to escape, but died, clenching the the walls of the tub. Her mouth was slightly open, but no sound escaped her pale lips. 2

He loved her.
Thats what he told himself, he really loved her.
But she didn't understand! No one understood!
His head was full of noise,
full of anger and confusion.3

"Silence! Silence!! I NEED SILENCE!"4

So he silenced them. 5

No more laughter...
No more tears...
No more bedtime stories for his younger daughter.
No more baseball for his older son.
Once the house was silent, he had realized what he had done. 6


When they first arrived, they interrupted the silence, they droned out the constant tick...tock..tick..tock of the clock. They disturbed the bloody grave.
they first, found the father on the living room floor. His left hand held the gun, as to explain the blood that soaked the floor by the left side of his head. After they removed the bodies of the broken family, they left the house once again. 7

Tick...tock...tick...tock..tick
The house goes on, but no longer does it want to.
It has seen its horrors, heard its pain.
Now time has slowed down..tick...like the heart of someone slowly dying...tock....it no longer wants to exist...tick...
Time suddenly stands still, for all has fallen, and all of life is lost. All is calm, but not forgotten.
**** 8

As you can see, this story is not of a happy nature, but it is not written to make you laugh, or make you feel the magic of a fairy tale ending, it is written to make you see how reality can quickly destroy you, so unexpectedly, so wrongfully, and so tradgicly.In all of lifes lessons, the hardest one to understand is that of which, death lays upon the human hand, not that the human hand lays upon death.

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Dark Wanderer
    October 3
    Edit | Reply
    oh, hahaha, I myself made some errors in my last post...sorry.

    The last of my proposed edits should read 'She LIES naked in the bathtub,her arms DRAPED over...'

  • Dark Wanderer
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    Hi there. First of all, allow me to say that I find your story really depressing, and definitely not the kind that anyone would want to read when they're happy...but that's exactly what you wanted, right? Congrats, for you have achieved your purpose. Great use of the clock analogy, I liked it.

    While I understand that some of us might like to know a little more of the family, I personally believe that it's not really necessary for this particualr story. I think you have done just enough for the content of this story.

    However, I also have to admit that there are many errors in the story here and there. I hope that you would look them up and edit them, to make this good story and even better one. Below are some of the ones that I found.

    Para 1: ...one that sheds light on LIFE'S horrors...

    (Proper paragraphy needed for paragrapgh 2.)

    Para 2: ...with a MESMERISING RYTHM...
    ...if you DON'T hear it...
    ...echoed THROUGH the halls...
    Never before had this house BORNE (or you could use FELT/SUFFERED/EXPERIENCED or many, many other words)such silence...
    ...no dreams were DREAMT...
    ...be disturbing THOSE among...
    'The fact still remains that the house is empty, but in the sense that it holds not a single soul.' I am not sure what is being relayed here...perhaps you may have overlooked this sentence.
    ...still the RHYTMIC tick...tock...
    'The one of the youngest daughter' 'THE' is redundant here. Just start the sentence with 'ONE OF THE YOUNGEST DAUGHTERS'
    He LIES on the floor, as if he HAD tried to run...In the next sentence after this, the first two commas are redundant.
    She LIE naked in the bathtub,her arms DRAPED over...


  • Olinda
    October 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    yay.. short, disturing, decriptive.. i love it


  • Bradshaw 101
    October 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Very good

    Descriptive and a little disturbing

  • neurossection
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh wow, i liked that a lot. i like how you wrote the story more as a visual, like watching a movie where the camera's just panning around. you did a wonderful job of describing the silence and emptiness and making it tangible. the use of the ticking clock worked really well. and the story itself, something which is all too real and sad, worked better than any supernatural ending you could've used. written in a really interesting way that i loved.

    the grammar bothered me a little - using bared and layed, but that's a minor thing.
    another thing i would have liked to see is more about his family - show what the strain was, what they did to make him snap like that, show the conflict and what they did to wear on his nerves so badly, maybe.

    in all, a really good piece of writing that could just use a little work

1 - 5 of 5