Vulgar. 1

Chapter One. Discovery. 1

‘Mummy will you come play with me?’ Tarni pulled on her mums hand, she was standing at the sink washing dishes, Tarni noticed how tired she looked but hoped she would say yes to her request, when her mum looked around though she knew it was a no. For more then a week now Tarni had watched her mum get sicker and sicker, it had started three months ago but the doctors couldn’t diagnose the problem, said it was something unknown. ‘Mummy?’2

‘Im sorry Tarni, I don’t think I am up to it. Just doing this is a little much at the moment, why don’t you go investigate some of the rooms? Grandma said you can go where ever you want; remember I grew up here, maybe you can find something of mine when I was younger?’ Katie hated letting her daughter down when she asked her to play, but since she had fallen ill anything was a struggle, as she had said, even doing the dishes was like climbing Mount Everest, she was exhausted already, and her head swam a little, sweat beaded her forehead. ‘Please Tarni? I promise I will play with you before bed time.’ She smiled down at her seven year old daughter and puckered her lips for a kiss. 3

Standing on her tip toes Tarni leaned up and kissed her mum on the cheek, she nodded in agreement to the deal and made a mental note to remember it, any playtime was something. Running off Tarni got to the staircase and considered her options. The large mansion consisted of three floors, more then ten rooms on each level, and an attic that was always locked. Two months ago they had moved in, a month after her mum had gotten sick and so far she had only gotten as far as the second floor and the heated indoor pool. Her mind wandered for a moment to the pool, loosing interest in exploring the house; looking up the stairs she pulled her thoughts back on track. 4

Climbing the first set of stairs she was set on the third floor, her mums bedroom was there, and so was the attic, if there was any luck for her today then hopefully the door would be open and she could see what was hidden in there, attics were always something fun to investigate. Maybe, Tarni hoped, this was like the ones from television shows and movies her mum took her to see, and there would be a magic doorway to another world. Reaching the third floor she spotted the decorated door, her mum’s room and approached it slowly. 5

Opening the door it smelled musty, like the boxes back at her real home. Her mum and grandparents were preparing for the worst, it scared Tarni but she understood a little, so it didn’t bother her too much. Even though her mum had lived in this room for eighteen years, she had moved into another room while they stayed now, a larger one on the bottom floor to save energy and help her health, so she didn’t have to walk up and down the stairs all the time. 6

This room didn’t look like something her mum would inhabit; Tarni stared in awe at all the drawings and pictures on her walls, the glossy and self drawn pictures stared back at with grinning smiles and smudged faces. Walking closer to the wall mostly covered in the pictures she spotted her mums tanned face and glistening green eyes, they looked lost and far away, different from the bright smile she wore. Her clothes were expensive, in fashion and her hair looked professional. Tarni smiled, it was like looking at a mirror of her. The sketches drew her attention the most though, they were full of colour and the people were dressed in olden time clothing with a twist, it reminded her of the duel monsters from Yu-Gi-Oh, a cartoon she watched a lot of on television. 7

Reaching out she touched one that looked like her mum, the skin was shaded in a dark tan colour, the eyes an opalescent green with the far away look gone from her eyes and her smile brighter then ever, but she wore clothes like the other drawings, unfashionable, and layered. Pulling her hand back she looked back at the smudged pencil on her fingers, it felt grainy. Looking back at the picture, there was a smudge where she had touched. Her eyes went wide in horror as she back away from the walls keeping her hands behind her back so she didn’t ruin anything else. 8

Going over to the bed there were a lot of teddies, more then she had ever seen before, they covered nearly the whole thing. It was weird knowing her mum had owned them, even though Tarni was young, she felt like she understood a lot of her mum just by seeing her room from when she was younger. It didn’t make sense though, her mum know was different, her twenty five year old face was pale, her eyes didn’t hold much emotion apart from love when she watched Tarni, and her clothes all hung loosely from her body. How her mum had gone from those photos to how she was now… Tarni felt tears well in her eyes.9

Looking around the room again she turned away from the bed and headed towards the wardrobe, opening the doors she was met by a great wave of clothing and shoes in all sizes, like grandma had kept all her mums clothes over the years. Wiping her hands on her shirt she skimmed through all the clothes, there was quiet an assortment. Tarni spent half an hour going through the clothing, she found some clothes in a box on the floor that fitted her, she fell in love with a top and pulled it on, hoping her mum or grandma wouldn’t mind. Going in deeper Tarni’s hands brushed against a smooth, large surface. Looking down she saw what it was, a large leather suitcase with papers and material jutting out from it. Written in black marker on the top was the words: HOME AWAY FROM HOME. 10

Pulled in by her childish mind, with some effort she pulled the box out and sat it in the middle of the room. Flicking the locks she opened the suitcase and was met by piles and piles of journals, dates written on the front covers. Picking the top one up she flicked through it, it was her mums writing, neat and fancy. Tarni had grown up reading, her mum had seemed eager to make sure she could read, and so Tarni had learnt how to read most things. Her grandma blamed her mums eagerness for Tarni needing reading glasses at such a young age, Tarni giggled over the memory; her mum had gotten so angry she had put the carrot peel in the stir fry she was making for dinner instead. 11

Flicking through Tarni found the last entry:12

“March eleventh, Nineteen Seventy Eight:13

I am leaving home, which means I am leaving behind Vulgar, and the life I live there, or more like lived. I hate living here in this world, in this house being brought up like I am better then everyone else that lives on this planet. I hate how my grandparents feel they must give me everything I want, and what I don’t want. It wasn’t anything like that at all in Vulgar. I got to be me, even though they treated me like a Princess, something I guess I will never understand. But staying there was too dangerous, my health was degrading quickly. They warned me that would happen if I spent such a long time away from my natural home, but it couldn’t be avoided, not when I was addicted to the way I lived there.14

I thrive on that fighting, all the battles and the people. The threats and injuries, it was just too much for me to resist, I know they didn’t like the risk I put on myself, as they treated me so highly, but they allowed me to anyways. That I guess is why I love everyone there, especially Leaf.15

Oh Leaf… I am dismayed at leaving you behind without warning of my leaving or even a goodbye kiss and night in bed, I can’t believe he was my first and how amazing he was, I wanted to have his children. But that would mean staying in this house, but I can’t. I need to live a real life in this world, as much as I hate it here, it must happen. 16

I hope Leaf doesn’t hate me and understands, he will fall in love with another woman who can fight and hold down a fortress and boyfriend at the same time and look pretty as well. I am sure he will; I just wish I could be that person, not someone else. 17

It is tempting to go back for good, leave my body sleeping until finally I die there, but that would be unfair to any future I was supposed to have here, if I was meant to have kids or not. I hope I have children, a little girl would be amazing, if I have one, she will live divine like I did in Vulgar. 18

Oh Leaf … Goodbye.”19

Tarni turned the page hoping for another entry but that was the last one, her heart race sped up. Grabbing the other books she looked for the earliest date she could find. February-April Nineteen Seventy-Two. 20

Snatching it from the very bottom of the suitcase she scrambled over to the window chair, opened the dusty blinds and let the summer sun wash over her, it was fading quickly as the day drew to an end, but it was still warm and bright enough for her to read in. Opening to the first page she got straight into it.