Two Souls

Two Souls1

  The creek leading along the forward edge of the property was shallow, its banks very rocky. Even here where the water was plentiful and the soil a little favorable for growth there was very little vegetation. The soil composed primarily of sand and gravel would only support the hearty pine and birch. Of course it didn’t make any difference to the heather, which managed to grow anywhere. Even with the sparse tree growth the land was in beautiful array with the seasons changing from summer to fall. A few trees still held some of the summer green while many others had begun to change to a pale shade of yellow. Against the darkness of the day’s sky the paler yellow seemed to have an inner glow.2

  I walked further along the creek before rounding the corner to  look out onto Loch an Eilean. The reflections from the marsh grasses lining the shore danced with the wind and the waves making the shoreline an image of peace and tranquility. Sadly, little of this beauty entered into my mind as I walked faster around the edge of the lake, one hand holding a book and the other a partially eaten raw potatoe. For more that two weeks I had been here in the Rothiemurchus forest studying the books in the Castle of the Comyns. My  benefactor had provided both the task of studying the administrative structure of the early Normans and the letters necessary to gain entrance into the castle library. I was quite surprised to find that the methods of the Normans in regulating their government had survived the long years and were in fact the foundation of the current European government. Taking another bite of the potatoe I flipped the page and began studying their shipping practices.3

 Now closer to the Castle, my brief lunch half finished, I glanced up to look at the stairs leading to the library and my temporary home. There before me were the worn stairs, the center beaten down with the footsteps of the many priests and students that came before. It seemed futile as I moved over to the right side of the steps walking on the un-trodden section as though this action I could balance out the damage done. 4

  Finally arriving at my study area I could not fail to break into smile. There on the table before me stood my books stacked in what appeared to be a replica castle wall. The structure was meticously done with battlements including detailed crenelations. I broke into laugh and looked around for Patrick, my long time friend and practical joker.5

  “I had hoped that my little piece of art would distract you for a bit John,” Patrick said, his own face a wide pleasant smile. 6

  “I thank you my friend for the comedy but still I am unable to join you in your travels today. I simply do not have time to spare. My patron has only allowed me a fortnight to complete this report,” I explained. 7

  Patrick’s face took on a mock look of hurt but he knew all to well that there was no time. “Then, he replied, I will have to be satisfied with having at least given you a smile.” With a quick hand on my shoulder he was off to spend the day riding. 8

  Taking the half eaten potatoe and spearing it with thin pieces of wood, which I had been collecting from the shoreline, I carefully mounted it in a partial glass of water. Then I added the glass to my collection. There before me stood sixteen of the glasses. They both marked the time I had spent in my studies as well as the remarkable growth pattern of plants. Every couple of hours I would raise my weary eyes from the9

depths of the books I had been studying and would marvel in the growth of the plants in front of me. From the newest addition added today to the two-week-old plant at the end, with it’s vine now three fingers in length, I would stare with wonderment. This minor experiment in the rebirth of the land around me would refresh me and send such joy10

into my heart that after only a few moments I would be able to continue with the heavy task of learning the Norman governing system. 11

  As the light of the day faded the servants came and went with both food and candles so I could continue until exhaustion or sheer eyestrain over took me. This was my normal nights task and one which the servants12

had become accustom to. They did not speak to me but simply took away either my empty or sometimes full plates and kept the light refreshed until in the wee hours of the night I would collapse into my bed.  On this night however something I would read would provide me with such a rush of energy that I would find time for neither rest nor food.  13

  At first it was the similarity in names, the lake where I am staying was named Eilean and her name was Ealeen. From the Norman studies I realized her name was pronounced “ A – Lean” Once I realized that there14

was no confusion in the names. It was what was said about her that was so amazing. Her father, a 12th century minor lord was involved in the sea trade and a part of the administrative section I was currently studying. Ealean, an only child had been highly educated by her father, that itself a rarity. But to further make herself a remarkable woman she had gone on to study the healing properties of the local plants and it was written she could diagnose the ailments of folk only with the touch of her hands. As I had seen many a good horseman do this and had felt only respect for the skill I could not find in my heart to feel anything but respect for these skills in a woman born 400 years before my time.  15

  As I continued with my reading I found there were many obstacles forced in front of Ealeen. She was both a woman and a healer in a time when both were looked upon with the greatest of prejudice. Thankfully I16

lived in a much more civilized time. But for her she would be expected to be nothing more than a breeding factory as wars and infant mortality would require each woman of childbearing capabilities to do their17

part. To complicate matters further the ability to heal was often misunderstood and could easily promote fear and misunderstanding. And yet the reading I was doing showed her as a person respected and eventually treated well not only within her community but in the surrounding areas as well. 18

  I set the book down and began to pace thinking of this amazing woman. Her personal strength to overcome the difficulties of her time and to excel in the healing arts led me to desire to know more about her. I19

realized that the study would take me slightly away from my administrative studies but perhaps I could explain it through the success of her father. Then, at least by studying her I could learn something more about her father that I could perhaps add into my report. This at least was the excuse I was preparing in my mind.20

  It took more than an hour to find the next reference to Ealeen in my reading but the search was worth the effort for here were words from her own hand. 21

  “Last night was bitter sweet. I love the rain. I sat cocooned in the warmth of my cloak while the music of the nearby minstrels spoke to me. Actually, music in general speaks to me. That is how I remember special moments in my life.” 22

The remainder of the page had been scraped clean of writing and re-used for her father’s notes on shipping times. But the book itself looked like it had been used as a prayer book by the mysterious Ealeen. I tried to imagine what type of woman would have written these words. I knew my thoughts of music and rarely did it evoke any feeling. Occasionally the musicians of the church would stir my heart but I was never sure if it was the music or the surroundings. And yet she sounded so sure of her understanding. Her clarity in this statement took my breath away as I could not think of anything in my life that stood alone with that much power of conviction. 23

  Quickly I stood and grabbed some of the hard loaf left for me as part of my meal. I took one bite of the bread and after a moments chewing spit it out and hurled the bread across the room. How could these few sentences from 400 years ago bring such anguish to my heart? Why did they make me question my life? I knew who I was and up until a few minutes ago had been happy with my life. Walking swiftly across the room I once again picked up the bread only to throw it even harder this time, an action that brought no satisfaction to me. 24

  Returning to my table I sat heavily in my chair, continuing my search through the shipping book hoping to find a few more words written by Ealeen. The next set of words were quite confusing as I didn’t know the context in which they were written but they did say something of her personality.25

  “I am still so new. But, I also believe that I am starting to get more comfortable with the greater leadership role as the months pass. I am worried though of the perception others will have on my writings. I tend to prefer spoken rather than written word when dealing with my personal feelings. It is so easy to misunderstand.”26

  I could not guess at the motivation to write the statements but I was beginning to see that a role of responsibility and power was being forced upon her. She was speaking about leadership when she felt more comfortable with  one to one interaction. Her role in life was becoming more demanding and rather than complain about it she worried more about others perception of her letters. Once again her personal beliefs were challenging mine. 27

 I stood from my chair and began to pace the room. It was a full minute before I realized the room was quite light and the candles had burned themselves out. I continued pacing. Now as I stopped to think or to turn I could hear off in the distance the house servants preparing my breakfast and realized that even without my supper I felt no hunger, nor desire for sleep. I rushed from the room, knocking aside the manservant and my breakfast as I quickly left the house. I had nowhere specific I wanted to go but knew that I had to be out away from the books, at least for a bit.28

  I am not sure why I ended up at the churchyard. Entering the old building I sat quietly inside and was eventually greeted by the morning priest. We spoke softly for a few minutes and he found no comfort in my29

questions, nor I in his answers. I took his leave and returned to my study. Without thought I walked up the center of the stairs and sat behind by pile of books not seeing anything until Patrick’s soft voice brought me out of my daze. 30

  “You were missed on the ride yesterday. But then again, from your looks perhaps you would not have been very good company,” he joked. 31

  “I am sorry Patrick, I replied. I have not slept and am not in very good conversation right now.”32

  “I can see that, he quickly countered. Who is she?”33

  I looked stunned at him for a moment before demanding, “What do you mean by that?”34

  “Well surely you know that only a woman can cause this much stress in a man. I know you have been tied to your books so perhaps one of the maids has caught your eye. Or maybe you have received a letter from35

someone in your past,” he explained. 36

  It was at this point that all reason left me and I fell unconscious to the floor. I came too sometime later, a wet cloth on my forehead and Patrick speaking softly to me. I could not make out the words but took37

comfort in his friendship. It was some time later that I was finally able to make conversation with him and we spoke long about Ealeen. He had informed me that I had spoken about her while I was sleeping and that I had quoted some poetry. 38

  He picked up parchment beside the bed and read, ”I did not believe because I could not see. Thought you came to me in the night. When the dawn seemed forever lost. You showed me your love in the light of the stars.”39

  I shrugged and looked at him with confusion. “I am sorry, but I do not recognize it. Perhaps it is something from my childhood that has come back to me”, I guessed trying to find a sensible answer. 40

  Patrick said nothing and with a parting smile left to talk with the servants. I found later they were commanded to be more diligent in their care with many threatened punishments for failure. I was warmly touched by his care for me and thought that I would have more to be thankful for before this study would be done. 41

  I ate the breakfast placed in front of me and with renewed energy returned to my books.  As the morning progressed I was blessed with a42

reference to Ealeen that included a visual description. It stated that she was tall, nearly 5 and a half feet. She had eyes that were brown but had hidden flashes of green and yet no matter how often you looked at her eyes you could never find any green in them. She was considered very beautiful with long auburn hair and yet few men sought her out. I closed my eyes and pictured her from this brief description. Her image was fuzzy as there was little to base it on but at least she was there in my thoughts. 43

  I continued my reading, her image fading in and out in my mind when I came to another of her musings. In this writing, where only part of the words remained she spoke of the world as a garden and that mankind of all lands needed to tend this land. She spoke of peace and the wasted lives of those lost in useless war. Then, as I sat reading this I closed my eyes and focused hard on her image. 44

  There, in the back of my mind, I began to hear the softness of her voice as she said, “Then the mountain rose before me. By the deep well of desire. From the fountain of forgiveness. Beyond the fire and ice.”45

  My eyes snapped open as I realized that somehow over the vastness of time she had reached out to me. What was I to do? I had asked the priest if he thought it possible to fall in love with a woman merely from reading about her. I am sure he thought I meant someone in a far off land. I did not enlighten him on it either way. Then I had asked the priest about our souls and he had told me they were immortal. So I sat thinking for a while before asking the final question. I  tentatively queried, “Could I fall in love with an immortal soul from the past?” He had stared at me in horror and departed in a hurry. I too left as quickly as possible. The church was never known for its acceptance of new ideas. 46

 I walked for hours, never quite knowing where I was until I came to edge of the ocean. From the height of the cliff I could see the channel islands. I was surprised to see the dramatic change in the light of47

the sky. Behind me the sun had set but off to the east the sky was black and approaching fast. I stood on the cliff feeling the wind begin to swirl around me. In front all blackness and behind the soft glow of48

the fading light and myself trapped somewhere in the middle. 49

  For the first time I spoke directly to Ealeen. “What is it you want me to do? I have fallen in love with you from your writings and from your description. That could happen easily to anyone. But, what am I to do? I50

am here at the oceans edge. Should I cast myself into the sea? But then, as my soul travels where it will, would you remember me?”51

 The sea remained silent and I remained in love with no answers. Before turning to return to the library, my studies now forgotten, I said, “I can’t do it. You will have to meet me half way.” I didn’t remember the walk back or actually going to sleep. My first memory was of my image of Ealeen becoming very clear. She stood near me and spoke softly in the voice I now recognized as hers. 52

 My dearest friend John, she began, we have little time and I have so much to explain. In my life you and I were in love and we pledged to remain so for all time. Unfortunately that is not so easy in the eyes of the world. As one life time ends and another begins our souls move from place to place. Sometimes we are near and find each other easily. Sometimes we are either far apart or born out of rhythm and we spend our lives searching but not quite sure for what.  Sometimes we are born as one, two souls born together in balance. My love, that is why my image, my words, and my memories came to you so easily. I am part of you now. In this time, we are one.  Do not throw this away for anything. When you are unsure, look within yourself. You will feel my support. You will feel my arms around you giving you comfort. 53

  Ealeen came closer to me and I took her in my arms. A warmth enveloped my body and peace descended upon me. I could feel her love all around me. Smiling I closed my eyes and slept the sleep of a baby.54

  Patrick joined me for breakfast as he expected to still see me in the poor shape he had left me. Instead he found me finishing up the report and preparing myself for a days riding. He stood in shock in the55

doorway as it was my turn to surprise him. 56

  I came over close, placing both hands on his shoulders, “Patrick my friend, it is time we had some fun in our lives.” We are only here for a short time let us enjoy ourselves. By the way, is your uncle still involved in the peace talks with the King? I have some ideas I would like to pass along to him.” 57

  Arm in arm we left the room, Patrick still stunned and myself full of the energy and confidence of having Ealeen’s support.58

John59