I’ve lost all feeling1
Living on automatic2
Breath in, breath out3
Life passing by4
Living on automatic5
Go to bed, wake up6
Life passing by7
My broken heart cries8
Go to bed, wake up9
Breath in, breath out10
My broken heart cries11
I’ve lost all feeling12
Author notes
Just a warning this is the first time I have ever written a poem in pantoum.
A contest entry
- Heartache Anyone? by xXSongxxofxxLifeXx.
380 points, ended October 8, 2008, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Obscure Poetry Forms 01: The Pantoum (points will go up) by intoothandclaw.
375 points, ended October 19, 2008, 5 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
This hurts me to have to tell you this but No poems are allowed in this contest! I'm sorry, But I really like the poem. If I could I would keep it in here but Rules are rules sorry. (Must DQ you)
-
aww shit that was good.... i bet you wrote this while you were going through a very down - nothing special happening - borring machanical life- kinda phase.. well its very well writen.. keep up the good work
take care now... bye =D
-
-
Thanks, it was a very trying time for me.
-
-
"I'm living on automatic."
Pure genious. Although I am living that way, I never would have been able to come up with that. I loved every little bit of it. Good luck.
-
-
Thanks. Tis definitely how I felt at that time.
-
-
I never heard of that style...pantoum? What tis that mean? I feel stupid asking but...ahh well. At any rate I can certainly relate to these emotions here. Felt them many times in the past.
-
-
Pantoum is really just the layout of the lines there is a great example on the original contest site.
-
I honestly don't remember ever hearing of it before either but saw the contest and was intrigued. So of course being the teacher I am I did what I tell every student to do I looked it up. Then with all that was going on this weekend this poem just came out and worked in the right design.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
