A Queen in Time

Chapter 1:
Princess Time1

Once upon a time there was a magnificent princess named Emily. She lived in a magnificent castle of gold. She had seven great Friends: Pam (the eldest), Sophie (the most intelligent), Sara (the nicest), Celeste (her best friend ever), Kelsie (the funniest), Courtney (her new best friend, and Katie (the most honest). One day she was walking with Courtney, Kelsie, and Celeste.
"When are we going to have that ball Emily?" asked Celeste
"Soon Celeste soon. Don't worry you'll get a invitation!"
"I hope it's...hey!look at that!" said Courtney . They'd just reached the castle when Courtney saw it first. It was a big black and yellow carriage!
"That's either the funeral carriage or something else." Oh lord let it be something else!
Emily thought. Emily stared running with her friends right behind her. They ran all the way to her dad's room and asked
"Who died?" Her dad laughed and said
"No one deary that's not a funeral carriage that's Vicky's."
"Who's?" She asked confused
"Oh, my fiancee" he replayed.
Then Emily saw her and ran followed by Courtney, Kelsie, and Celeste up to her room. She was a big lady, about, 5'1", Dark clothe, young looking, Brown wavy hair, and green eyes.2


Chapter 2:
NO!3

"A new mom, but your mom just died a year ago!" said Kelsie who was pacing around the room.
"I know, I know don't remind me!"
"Lets leave her alone guys." said Celeste"
"Okay, Bye Emily" they said together then left.
A new mom? How can I get a new mom? I'm barley over my real mom's death! Just then there was a knock at the door.
"Can I come in?" it was her dad.
"Yes."
"Please Hun, I know your probably not over your mom's death yet but can you at least give Vicky a chance? Please?" Her dad asked looking into his daughters eyes.
I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I don't think she'll be right for him...or me.
"Okay, I give her a chance."
"Thank you hunny." He said smiling. Then he hugged her and kissed her forehead.

Author notes

This story is a medieval story with a little twist here and there! (but maybe not in the first two chapters!)That's all I'm giving you right now!

Stay tuned for more of "A Queen in Time"!

For the contest "Medieval Fantasy": My favorite animal is Bobcat!

For tallblondie's contest: I think I should get Gold because I'm awesome and even though I just meet you you like me the best of your friends . Oh and you also think this post is so awesome that you want me to write more and wow you with my brilliance !

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • tallblondie
    November 19, 2008

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    Nice little story - I did quite enjoy your introduction - the little 'asides' for each of the characters. The dialogue seemed realistic, but I felt that you could have fleshed this out a little bit more with some descriptions. Being a medieval setting, you could really have fun describing the house/castle that this takes place in. If you have trouble imagining it - try having a look at a few pictures from movies that are set in that time period - and try describing what you see.

    Thank you for your entry in Share the Spoils.

  • Valkyrie
    September 22, 2008

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    It needs a bit of polish on the punctuation, but it sounds like a great version of Cinderella, with way more interesting characters. Do you have more of this story written out? I like that there are so many friends. It'll make for more cool stuff happening.

  • angelaononchan
    September 21, 2008
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    Cool. My sister is called Emily. Good so far. I think in 'eldest' It should be oldest.


  • ice wolf Greeters member
    September 20, 2008

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    Nice job so far. I noticed one thing in it that you need to add. In the list of her friends, add a colon to show that a list is following. Good job, other than that. I can't wait to read more.

1 - 5 of 5