Cameron Makes Nine

An introduction is the most engaging portion of a conversation. It is full of mystery, expectation, and excitement. It can be between two enemies about to engage in debate or it can be the introduction of two lovers at the beginning of a blind date. One thing about the introduction, it makes up the lines of the conversation that are most memorable and most engaging. I remember my most memorable introduction. It must have been the simplest introduction I have ever taken part in as well.1

“That’s Cameron right there.” The camp director pointed to a small blonde haired boy looking down at his notebook. We both walked over to him and the camp director squatted down to eye level of Cameron. It wouldn’t matter because he would never look up. “Cameron this is Sean. He’s going to be in your group, too. Okay?” Cameron said nothing and continued to look through his notebook. The camp director then comes back to where I was standing. “Casey is going to personally watch him more than the rest of the group but if he ever gets out of hand, let me know, okay?” I nod and she leaves Casey and me with the group.2

The plan was that Casey was to watch Cameron while I was to watch the other eight kids. Cameron had autism, which means if certain things wouldn’t be the same as they were before than he would flip out and run off. This is why two counselors were needed for our group, so that Casey could run after him while I could watch the group. 3

“Where are my markers?” His frightened voice drew a wave of concern into the air.4

“I have them right here, sweetie.” Casey said calmly before things got out of hand. She had a beautiful voice that was meant to be heard by children all day. However, she had several piercings and confessed to me later that the night before she got drunk and high with a heavy metal band that stayed at her house for the night. I suppose that to be a good counselor it’s necessary to keep your home and work life separate.5

She gives him the markers and his coloring book and he was at peace once again. The campers began to shuttle onto the campground, busload by busload. Cameron didn’t notice a single one of them. He was just lost in his coloring and that was fine with me and Casey. Until only a few moments later, a gust of wind blows through the camp site. “Oh no! It’s a tornado!” Cameron screams and runs under another table. Casey runs after him and I only watch her try to work her magic on him.6

He grabs the markers and begins to go to work on his book of 7

I barely saw Cameron those first few days. He would always dart away and Casey would have to go running after him. It seemed like it almost became a pattern with him. You could set your watch by his break downs. It’s as if he was trained to make life difficult for camp counselors, for he would decide the worse times to run off. But who ever knew that it could get worse.8

“Stop following me!” Cameron would turn and yell to Casey in a very upsetting tone. Casey would try to calm him down with her heavenly voice, “It’s okay, hun. I’m just making sure you’re okay.” This wouldn’t comprehend to him and he would continue with his orders. “Stop following me!” Casey would try to explain herself and her responsibilities, which would only prove to be futile. “Leave me alone. You are not a good person. You refuse to be good.” The problem with a nice, sweet, patient counselor is that with those qualities also comes sensitivity. And with sensitivity comes an upset counselor.9

She ran to me out of the woods in tears. Assuming the worst, I ask in a concerned tone, “What? What happened?” She can barely speak, “I have tried with that kid. But I can’t work with him anymore. I can’t work with someone that hates me. He fucking hates me. I’ve been nothing but good to him and still he fucking hates me.” It was then that I turn to the other eights kids that heard this entire statement. I tell them to get their bags as if nothing happened. The day was over and I’m sure that night, though, there were several family meanings on the meaning and inappropriateness of the word “fuck.” 10

The next morning I arrive in the camp office, anxious for another eventful day, when I am greeted with a camp director with a disappointed face. “Sean, Casey quit yesterday. We are going to put you someone but because you have more experience. You are going to be the one to watch Cameron.” I was stunned. “Experience?” I thought, “I never saw the kid. Casey was the one with the experience. This is my third day at camp. Give me a break. What the hell am I going to do?” I knew that in order for the camp to work properly I would have to keep my resistance bottled up. So I accepted the task at hand and marched out to greet the day. 11

Arts and crafts was the only time that Cameron was able to blend in with the other eight campers. He would sit with his markers in complete concentration and focus and he would begin to make his “masterpieces.” On one day, they would be the different racetracks to the latest Mario Kart game or they would be characters from the latest children’s television show. Today, he decided to draw the solar system, labeling each planet. He asked me the name of every planet, he obviously knew the answer but would jump around in glee whenever I would name the planet. Therefore I humored him. When he was finished with his creation, he gave it to me. I didn’t quite know where to put it so I folded it up and placed it in my bag.12

It was half way through the day, just after lunch, that he made his request for his markers once again. The rest of the group, with another counselor, was headed for Kick ball. But I knew very well that Cameron wanted nothing to do with that so I decided to stay back at the picnic table and draw with him. I went to get his markers and when I came back to the table he was gone. 13

A rush of terror went over. I was worried about him and I began to look around. “He couldn’t have gone far.” I thought. But how would I have known the distance he could travel? After a few moments of whipping my head around I hear another counselor call my name. I look over to her and she is pointing down across the field. It was Cameron and he was running for the street. I take off, jumping over picnic table after picnic table, heading toward Cameron. While running, I undergo a feeling of relief because I know I found him and I would catch him before he made the street. But with every step, anger began to grow. How dare he take off like this? He could have been hurt! What the hell is wrong with this kid? My counselor instinct would tell me not to express these thoughts aloud. But after what he just put me through, my instincts became slightly skewed.14

“Cameron!” I shouted. I reach and grab his arm to stop him and he turns to me. “What were you thinking?” I receive no answer. “You can’t just run away like that. You could’ve been hurt. Do you even get that? Do you understand?” He looks down. I am pretty sure he has already lost interest in me. I clap my hands a few times to get his attention. “Hey. Look at me.” He refuses. “Look at me.” I raise my voice and he raises his head. “What’s the matter with you?” He finally speaks, “I don’t know.” “You don’t know? Cameron you just ran into the street. You can’t run off like that.” “I know” “Then why do you do it?” “I don’t know. Something inside of me is just broken.” I don’t say anything. I was taken aback by this comment. “Okay, I understand…Just…just. Try to stay with me….Let’s go….let’s go color.” It never occurred to me that I only had to deal with his illness for a few more days. He had to deal with it for the rest of my life. After hearing Cameron diagnose his problem, I agreed never to mention it again.15

It was the swim time finally, the one chance for Cameron never to be able to run away and the one thing that he did truly enjoy and when he was happy, he was less of a handful, so I was happy. The moment his feet dipped into the water there was a smile from ear to ear that never ceased for the entire swim time. When I saw him with Casey, he would always seem to throw himself into his own world, ducking under the water and swimming around in the pool in complete happiness. 16

The moment I slowly dropped into the pool, Cameron came right up to me and thrillingly showed me different tricks that he learned himself while swimming, including the ever so exciting spinning-around-in –circles- while- flailing-arms maneuver that so popular among children these days. It was an obviously mundane but he was so proud that I had no choice but to pretend to be stunned in its magnificence. He was, of course, thrilled at my reaction. Demonstrating this feeling by spinning and flailing his arms even more in celebration. While watching him rejoice in my approval, a wave of realization came over me; regardless of his running, his outbursts, and various other obstacles, this kid was in general and alright kid.17

When I arrived at the camp the next day, the assistant director and camp director were waiting together on the grounds. They were approaching me as I was approaching the work day. The reach me and start the conversation.18

“Cameron will not be a problem, anymore.” 19

I am both shocked and confused, “What do you mean?”20

The assistant director explains, “He’s been removed from the camp.” While the director explains further, “It just wasn’t working out”21

I was speechless and showing no signs of an expected relief.22

“It’s okay to be relieved.” The assistant director says with a sensitive chuckle.23

I throw out a forced laugh. “No. I’m sorry. I appreciate it. Thank you.”24

They leave to attend their camp business and I leave them to attend mine. I go to my group’s cubby and place the bag in there. I open the bag to see if my bathing suit and towel are inside. They are there as well as a piece of paper, with a drawing of the solar system on it. The paper was wet and the ink began to run but the names of the planets were still legible. I crumbled the paper to try to hold back the tears.25

I never got the chance to say goodbye. I never got the chance to see him for the final time. I never got the chance to truly get through to him. I feel that I only scratched the surface of Cameron’s personality. But that’s all anyone could do. I never got a lot of chances on that first week of summer but I had the chance to meet Cameron, a chance that most people will never get. 26