My Go To Hell Hat

The first thing that you need to know about me is that I am quite ordinary. I am the person that you would overlook in the crowd someplace, especially if it is an attraction that draws thousands of people. So when I started going to flea markets and craft shows I had to do something about feeling lost in the crowd.1

Now the next thing you need to know about me is that I have always enjoyed writing about anything and everything. It was not always encouraged by others within my family. Don't they do this to all of their relatives. Especially if you tell them you are going to write a book and if they have dark secrets they get scared that you are going to rat on them. Well they should get over themselves because you will and  if you leave one of them out of the story they will feel rejected. Something else you need to know about writing, relatives and subject is this. If they are going to be pissed at you make sure they are legitimately pissed and then they can be justified that they are.2

The most important thing that you need to know about me is this. I am a cancer survivor of not one trip down that lane but three trips during which I spent most of my time in medical offices. I am officially a member of the American Medical Association as I have frequent flier miles. I have endured thirty surgeries, sixty-three radiation treatments. You know the old Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer song. You could say that I glowed. Yes my nose got red, as did my back, my stomach and a few unmentionable places.3

In this walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I began a journal. I let everyone and everything have it but hey in 2000 I was told that I had two weeks and two months to live. To that doctor I told him bluntly. 4

"Go to hell." 5

Then I walked out and went back to the radiation oncology doctor who gave me options. He ran by me the worse case scenario and the possibility that radiation might eradicate the tumor. So I chose that and it does not take a rocket scientist to know that I lived. But I was given tack pins each time I went into a hospital or had a treatment. Other people would give me pins to collect. Pretty soon I had enough for a hat. Then I bought more and found more pins on different cancers and other things that interested me. One hat soon became two and then added up to six. I wore the first hat to the flea market where I sold quilts, jewelry and antiques. A man asked me what I called the hat. It came to me that it  had a special significance to it. So I told him this.6

"It is my Go To Hell hat." He laughed and slapped his knee and said he had some more pins for the hat and gave me a bunch. I have pins from all over the United States. The hat became a symbol for me of hope and battling a disease that took the lives of many of my friends. One day I sat down and started to write my first book. I had to stop writing that book because of a dream that I had and it was a recurring dream about 911. So that is how I first became a published author. I also wrote stories about cancer, child abuse and any subject that came to mind. I wrote a novel about cancer and its survivors. Some of my poems were published in a book. Now here is something that gripes me and it goes to my reasons for entering this contest.7

I did write articles for free on another on line magazine because I wanted to promote my book. But that magazine started claiming exclusive rights when others posted my humorous articles on a character that I created. Then the publisher that I had signed with became the bane of the publishing world and a few readers started to lam blast my novel without having ever read it. One poem won an award and that was harshly criticized. This angered me deeply and frankly I just stopped writing for that on line magazine because of threats and other lame brained idiots that would email me. I learned a great deal from that but in recent weeks a group of people who opposed my religious beliefs sent me an email.8

"Madame you have no aptitude for writing. You send a stench to the nose of God. I am a prophet of God and he has told me to send you a message. Find another hobby." Infuriated I banned him from my website you see because he did not believe that a woman could preach and a woman did not have the same privileges as a man. I know that I am one of over 600,000 published authors a year in these United States and like the unseen person at the flea market that nobody pays attention to. I have to have a Go To Hell Hat on me to stand out. Now it may not mean that much to you and yes I know that I have things to learn. But writing to me is not a hobby and who does this jerk think he is to tell me to stop writing?9

We must face facts the literary has plenty of outstanding people but someone who has never published anything except their own ignorance and is biased against women to boot. Yes it would mean a lot to have a gold membership. I will keep writing here and posting even if I lose because I like this site. I also want to find another publisher because everything that was said about the other one proved to be true. I truly would like to get out of that contract but first I want them to pay me the royalties on my first book. So therefore I adapted the Mark Twain philosophy in that write for free if you have to until somebody notices you and pays you to do it. Okay here I am a literary nobody with a go to hell attitude and hat.10

Thank you for considering me and allowing me to write this.11

The Country Cousin.12