Dennis arrived at his Internal Revenue Service audit accompanied by another man.1
Going over his records, the IRS official said, "Well, sir, it appears that you live at a much higher level than your reported income. How do you explain that?"2
Dennis replied, "I love to gamble and I always win." 3
The skeptical official gave him a disbelieving look.4
"I can prove it," said Dennis. "How about a demonstration?"5
The official thought a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."6
Dennis said, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."7
The auditor thought a moment and said, "No way! It's a bet!"8
Dennis removed his glass eye and bit it.9
The official's jaw dropped. Dennis said, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."10
The official could tell Dennis wasn't blind, so he took the bet.11
Dennis then removed his dentures and bit his good eye.12
The stunned official was now three grand in the hole!13
"Want to go double or nothing?" Dennis asked. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on your desk and piss into that wastebasket by the door over there and never get a drop anywhere in between."14
The auditor, twice burned, was cautious now, but there's no way this guy could manage that stunt, so he agreed again!15
Dennis climbed up on the auditor's desk, missed the wastebasket completely, and pretty much got pee all over the desk.16
The official grinned. He had just turned a huge loss into a huge win! But then he noticed that Dennis's friend looked ashen and was visibly shaking.17
"Are you okay?" he asked.18
The man replied, "Not really. Yesterday Dennis bet me twenty thousand dollars he'd piss on your desk and you'd be happy about it!"
A contest entry
- Make me laugh, make me cry, make me feel something! by LittleMissChrissie.
450 points, ended October 24, 2008, 75 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Laugh! by tonialoise.
525 points, ended September 22, 2008, 28 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Make me LOL!!! by DeathNoteYaoi.
230 points, ended September 28, 2008, 21 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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hehehheheh.................
you are too good Karti
this is first time when i'm reading anything funny from you ...o spiritual being...too good .you amazed me . keep writting such stuff . good luck for contests
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Lol, your just too funny!! I should read your stuff WAY more often! I didn't see the end part coming and it made me lol, for real. xD Oh, and good luck with the contest!!
~Mia~
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Thanks alot... Glad you liked it.
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Very nice work i laught abit at thie well done ^^^
DNy -- -
hehe, yep similar but still funny. Thanks for the chuckle!
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The pleasure is all mine... Glad it made u chuckle.
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Cute...but reminds me of another joke I heard. I sure got a good chuckle out of it though, something I needed today!
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Glad it helped...
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hmm.. i remember reading a story like this in "tinkle"! so, the end- it didn't surprise me.. bt a good attempt neway..
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It's been ages since I read a 'Tinkle'! Aeons, rather... Thanks for the feedback!
And logging in after quite a while, I notice!?
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Very, very funny
Hahahah, one of the funnier things I've read on here in a while. I enjoyed reading it and it genuinely made me laugh. You did very well on this. The only thing that could possibly make it better was if it was a bit longer, but it was brilliant as it is.
The very best of luck in the contest.
Chrissie
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Ah... Thanks alot! It was a pleasure entering your contest, Chrissie. Thank you for the opportunity.
Peace, and have a nice day.
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Hilarious! But I've read this type of story or rather seen this kind of comedy sometime ago in some film: purposefully losing a bet to win another. So, I saw it coming all the way.
One doubt in p16: isn't it 'pretty much peed all over the desk.'? -
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Nah...
Well, that is a way of putting it too. 'peed' is in past tense...
"Dennis climbed up on the auditor's desk, missed the wastebasket completely, and pretty much got pee all over the desk."- I have maintained the tense here... But yes, it can also be framed in the way you mentioned.
Thanks for the feedback!
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