PREMISE1
An angel unleashes the locked-up sins of the world, bringing destruction upon the universe.2
PLOT3
The hearts of the Ancient People have been split into two orbs: Love and Sin. Because God's power comes from Love, some angels believe they can become the same if they use the Sin. However, this brings them into a state of continuous torture. In anger against Heaven, they assemble their army--The Forty Knights. A mighty war begins.4
ONE CHARACTER BIO5
Name: Raske6
Affiliation: Neutral (Protagonist)7
Heritage: Created to represent one of the Dead Worlds.8
Appearance: He seems to be sort of the "samurai" of angels.9
Personality: Always trying to find his own way to go about things, because he believes that taking others' advice is never the best path to choose.10
Story: He was raised with many of the other Angels, including Lucy. When she and some others begin plotting to steal the orb of Sin, he becomes very afraid for his friends. He opposes their decision, but knows them too well to fight against them.11
TWO OTHER CHARACTERS12
Name: Lucy13
Affiliation: The Forty Knights14
Appearance: Her blond hair, white wings, and blue eyes are all stained red after she acquires the Orb of Sin.15
Personality: Created to take on the traits of the world around her, she is overflowing with hidden fears that lead to her breaking down.16
Name: Mike17
Affiliation: God's Legion18
Appearance: Usually seen with his shining armor, sword and shield.19
Personality: Created as a secondary overseer to Heaven, Mike is often quite overwhelmed with tasks. Combined with loss of sleep, this makes him very cranky.20
THREE CHARACTER "TEA PARTY"21
I smiled as I opened the door to see the three Angels arriving. All of the ones I had invited. "Hey, guys, come on in. Have a seat. Sorry about this whole thing. I know you're all very busy."22
The one I knew to be Raske shook his head as he sat down. "Not really. It's not often that I have an excuse to sit and talk."23
"Sit and talk," muttered the one with the largest presence, Mike. "You had to make it sound like a meeting. Thanks for ruining this thing for me."24
The girl nudged Mike a bit. "You make it sound so depressing. Why do you think they call it a tea PARTY?"25
He glared at her. Not wanting to let the tension mount, I broke in, "Can I get you guys anything?" Honestly, this wasn't normally my type of hangout. But when you were dealing with high-class society like this, tea party was the way to go.26
Each of them had a personal order. I wandered through my house to find the food that I'd obtained just for this purpose. It really only took me a minute, so it was quite a shock to see Raske pushing Mike and Lucy apart.27
"Hey, uh, Ein, right? We really need to split these two up. This is ridiculous."28
I sighed and put the food down on the table. "I knew this might happen. But that's actually part of the reason I did this. To show how ridiculous this war really is, especially to the ordinary folk like me."29
Raske nodded in agreement. "I wholeheartedly agree. But, now that Lucy did what she did, we can't change any of it back."30
Mike chuckled victoriously at the statement. Lucy jumped up. "How was I supposed to know what would happen if I did that?! All we ever heard from above was 'Don't do it, kids!'"31
Mike shook his head. "And once again, that should have been enough. It was an order from The Lord God himself. Yet you disobeyed for your own personal needs!"32
Lucy looked down. "If this was going to happen... why did He create a girl like me in the first place?"33
I sighed. "It's because He knew that life made without free will is not real. That idea came from His experiences with the Ancient People that created the Sin."34
Raske sat down, nodding in understanding. "Yeah, don't you remember them teaching us that in third grade? But you also have to remember, they also created the Love. And we know what He can do with the Love, Lucy."35
Mike stomped his foot. "The Lord isn't about to reverse what this stupid girl started. Now everyone has to pay, including His new world, Earth."36
"Earth?" I asked. "Now why does that name sound so familiar?"37
Mike grinned. "It's also the name of one of the Dead Worlds of legend. Supposedly, it will be built out of the remaining fragments of the Dead Worlds, called continents."38
Lucy growled. "The people of those worlds are the ones who caused this! Why is it that I have to pay while they return?"39
Raske put a hand on her shoulder. "All of us will live through much hardship, whether on Heaven or Earth. For now, we should enjoy this chance to get away from that. Come on, let's just have this tea party."40
Raske glanced over at me. I hadn't known him for too long, but he honestly seemed like a twin to me in some respects. The difference between us may have been that he'd been born as a higher-class Angel.41
I looked around to find a change of subject, one that might last through the rest of the party till they left. "So, uh, read any good books?"
An angel unleashes the locked-up sins of the world, bringing destruction upon the universe.2
PLOT3
The hearts of the Ancient People have been split into two orbs: Love and Sin. Because God's power comes from Love, some angels believe they can become the same if they use the Sin. However, this brings them into a state of continuous torture. In anger against Heaven, they assemble their army--The Forty Knights. A mighty war begins.4
ONE CHARACTER BIO5
Name: Raske6
Affiliation: Neutral (Protagonist)7
Heritage: Created to represent one of the Dead Worlds.8
Appearance: He seems to be sort of the "samurai" of angels.9
Personality: Always trying to find his own way to go about things, because he believes that taking others' advice is never the best path to choose.10
Story: He was raised with many of the other Angels, including Lucy. When she and some others begin plotting to steal the orb of Sin, he becomes very afraid for his friends. He opposes their decision, but knows them too well to fight against them.11
TWO OTHER CHARACTERS12
Name: Lucy13
Affiliation: The Forty Knights14
Appearance: Her blond hair, white wings, and blue eyes are all stained red after she acquires the Orb of Sin.15
Personality: Created to take on the traits of the world around her, she is overflowing with hidden fears that lead to her breaking down.16
Name: Mike17
Affiliation: God's Legion18
Appearance: Usually seen with his shining armor, sword and shield.19
Personality: Created as a secondary overseer to Heaven, Mike is often quite overwhelmed with tasks. Combined with loss of sleep, this makes him very cranky.20
THREE CHARACTER "TEA PARTY"21
I smiled as I opened the door to see the three Angels arriving. All of the ones I had invited. "Hey, guys, come on in. Have a seat. Sorry about this whole thing. I know you're all very busy."22
The one I knew to be Raske shook his head as he sat down. "Not really. It's not often that I have an excuse to sit and talk."23
"Sit and talk," muttered the one with the largest presence, Mike. "You had to make it sound like a meeting. Thanks for ruining this thing for me."24
The girl nudged Mike a bit. "You make it sound so depressing. Why do you think they call it a tea PARTY?"25
He glared at her. Not wanting to let the tension mount, I broke in, "Can I get you guys anything?" Honestly, this wasn't normally my type of hangout. But when you were dealing with high-class society like this, tea party was the way to go.26
Each of them had a personal order. I wandered through my house to find the food that I'd obtained just for this purpose. It really only took me a minute, so it was quite a shock to see Raske pushing Mike and Lucy apart.27
"Hey, uh, Ein, right? We really need to split these two up. This is ridiculous."28
I sighed and put the food down on the table. "I knew this might happen. But that's actually part of the reason I did this. To show how ridiculous this war really is, especially to the ordinary folk like me."29
Raske nodded in agreement. "I wholeheartedly agree. But, now that Lucy did what she did, we can't change any of it back."30
Mike chuckled victoriously at the statement. Lucy jumped up. "How was I supposed to know what would happen if I did that?! All we ever heard from above was 'Don't do it, kids!'"31
Mike shook his head. "And once again, that should have been enough. It was an order from The Lord God himself. Yet you disobeyed for your own personal needs!"32
Lucy looked down. "If this was going to happen... why did He create a girl like me in the first place?"33
I sighed. "It's because He knew that life made without free will is not real. That idea came from His experiences with the Ancient People that created the Sin."34
Raske sat down, nodding in understanding. "Yeah, don't you remember them teaching us that in third grade? But you also have to remember, they also created the Love. And we know what He can do with the Love, Lucy."35
Mike stomped his foot. "The Lord isn't about to reverse what this stupid girl started. Now everyone has to pay, including His new world, Earth."36
"Earth?" I asked. "Now why does that name sound so familiar?"37
Mike grinned. "It's also the name of one of the Dead Worlds of legend. Supposedly, it will be built out of the remaining fragments of the Dead Worlds, called continents."38
Lucy growled. "The people of those worlds are the ones who caused this! Why is it that I have to pay while they return?"39
Raske put a hand on her shoulder. "All of us will live through much hardship, whether on Heaven or Earth. For now, we should enjoy this chance to get away from that. Come on, let's just have this tea party."40
Raske glanced over at me. I hadn't known him for too long, but he honestly seemed like a twin to me in some respects. The difference between us may have been that he'd been born as a higher-class Angel.41
I looked around to find a change of subject, one that might last through the rest of the party till they left. "So, uh, read any good books?"
Author notes
This is actually my homework for one of the Storywrite Academy classes, Beginning Your Novel taught by GuitarShank. The class is actually an excellent tool that I'd reccommend to anyone--and if I was going to start another series, I'd retake the course to get it started.
Comments
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I really like the personality of your characters. Yet, I'm not sure if there's any conflict as such. Yes, Lucy screwed up but she doesn't seem to be overly concerned. Is she afaraid of the out come of her actions, or trying to fix it? I soppose as you continue the story this will be revealed.
I defenitely enjoyed the concept I would just like more onformation.
Thanks.


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Well, keep in mind that this "Tea Party" was part of a Storywrite Academy assignment, so it's not an actual part of the story. The purpose of it is really grasping what I want the characters to be like.
This "Ein" character won't exist in the real one, which will more closely follow the Premise and Plot stated at the top.
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