Her kind caress1
Relieves stress, a2
True blessing be3
Her gentle hug4
Makes me snug as5
A bug in rug6
Her luscious kiss7
Is sheer bliss for 8
My miss and me.9
Author notes
Commented o I(Than Bauk chain) by pinhead.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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It hits home. That is how I feel about my lady. Your poem has the wonder feel, that as you say "snug as a bug in a rug."
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such is very simplistic... yet sweet. I like the 'snug as a bug in a rug'although that is a bit cliche'.... cliche's are a 'no no' in poetry, but even still... i like them in poetry! good job! tricia.. * <3
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nice form...a bit dry, and not super witty - but kudos to your form
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this skips along nicely.
Tecohe -
I'm with windhover3 on this, if the "snug as a bug in a rug" cliche wasn't in there, I'd say this was perfect...
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This, very gentle, soothing and quite a loving piece, done in this unique form and done so well.
It had an old fashioned touch of romance that was a breath or perhaps a sigh of fresh air!
Enjoyed this, thank you...
a.
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I really enjoyed the first and last stanza. I'm not sure why the second didn't really appeal to me
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Wow...I really enjoyed this form...something I haven't really read before...very interesting and you pulled it off fantastically! Very enjoyable and smooth. Great job with this, definitely looking forward to more from you!
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Hey! lovely! I was pleasantly surprised when I clicked on this link, not sure what I'd get, but I liked it. I am in awe of your awsome form-writing powers!
peace,
sparky25 -
Wow...you did a great job of following the rules of this form and then linking them together. I love the romance and tenderness about which you have written here. Lovely piece and good luck in the contest!
Lorena -
yes, this is lovely and quite sweet and romantic as has been said and it it, in its way, a love song and Thank you for sharing it...how beautifully youmastered this form and sent this love through it...
Best to you,
m.
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Ah what a great poem of love written here. i loved the words, and you truly mastered this form. i am envious of all of the great Than Bauk writers in here, as it truly seems a very hard form to master for me. good luck with this.
luv,
*KIM* -
You are the master of forms, and I am not in the least bit surprised that you have captured the flavor of this style with great performance of ease. Very nice my friend. A joy to roll from the tongue. Best wishes in the challenge.
Renee ♥
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You did a wonderful job. If my memory is accurate, you are the one who first turned me on to the Than Bauk. You are master of the short forms.
Great job.
S♠m
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honestly, the snug bug in a rug was a touch too much for such as me. The final stanza, though, was nigh on perfect. It incorporated the sort of homily-like character of than bauk, while flowing very well and making a lovely point. It could stand on it's own quite proudly.
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I agree with blondeoverblue, this brought a big smile to my lips as well. I really love the gentleness of your words here and they flow so perfectly. Very impressive job here! Good luck in the contest.
*hearts; Kimberly -
This had such a gentle feel to it, I couldn't help but smile when I read it. Sometimes to get a hug is just the best feeling in the world
Kat xxx -
Wow!! This was Superbly Spantastic!! I liked it!! The flow, the words, the imagery, everything you said in here was wonderful. Very romantic Good luck in this contest my friend!! I wish you the best!! God Bless You!!
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sweet
well aren't you the charmer
i wonder...do you know where that saying "snug as a bug in a rug" came from?
sorry random moment....great poem, good rhyming scheme -
This is a perfect Than Bauk chain, with the words "blessing be" adding, intentionally or otherwise, a nice play off the traditional Buddhist prayer "blessed be, I bow to you", better known as "namaste" -- which is perfect for this form. You also did a lovely job of incorporating notions of love and affection, which I understand this form normally hopes to capture.
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Beautiful write friend. Never tried this form myself but I think you followed the syntax to a T. And I agree with envinyatar. It is sweet and romantic.
Thanks for entering and good luck.
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good
This is good, i like it. It's sweet and romantic.
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