Shades of Dull Chapter 1- Day of the Dream

Shades of Dull1

Chapter 1- Day of the Dream2

I guess you could say I’m an upbeat person.  Sure, I can get pretty upset sometimes.  I cry and I yell, but despite it all, I manage to keep myself out of trouble.3

I’ve never been one of those teenagers who get involved with drugs and alcohol.  In my opinion, you’re weak if you depend on them.  What good do they do you?  You lose all sense of time and direction, and then when reality comes knocking on your door the next morning, you get thrown flat on your ass… and maybe spat on a few times.  Boy that sounds like a crapload of fun doesn’t it?4

I also don’t understand this whole ‘I’m depressed, so let me cut myself,’ crap that my generation is pulling.  I mean, I know that life can be stressful sometimes and people do go through bouts of depression, but kids my age just take it ten steps too far.  I didn’t realize that life was supposed to be an hour long soap opera with twenty minutes of melodramatic commercials.5

“On today’s episode of ‘My Life Sucks,’ Chris gets a ‘C’ in history.  The only way for him to deal with his horrible situation is to pop pills like they’re candy, tell half of his school, and hope that his parents won’t find out.  Meanwhile, Mary gets sent to the mental hospital for the fifteenth time this second.”6

I don’t mean to sound condisending, but it’s just so ridiculous!  Why would you want to live your life flaunting your depression?  Why would you want your friends living their lives day to day worrying that you’re going to cut a little too deep or swallow one too many Advils?7

It’s not very fair, if you ask me.  Actually, I find it to be extremely selfish, and childish, but I guess most people can use the excuse that teenagers are technically still kids to justify their stupid behavior.8

But it’s not justifiable!  It seems that teenagers and their parents use stuff like depression as reason for teenagers to do the idiotic shit they do so they don’t have to take responsibility for the situation.  That’s just pathetic!  People are willing to sacrifice the strength teens could possibly be building up to survive in the real world, just so they don’t have to take personal blame?9

Sorry!  I need to calm down a bit.  I just get really agitated when I think about it.  I often forget that my peers aren’t as emotionally strong as I am.  Arrogant, I know, but it’s the truth.  Seriously, you could throw just about anything at me and I can take it…10

***11

I was so wrong…  How foolish I was to have such thoughts…12

Everything you just heard had at one time come out of my mouth.  How long ago did I say it? ... I have no idea.  I honestly know nothing anymore!  One thing I completely managed to forget when I said all of that was that I too am a teenager, or at least was… I don’t know…13

But this I do know.  I am no stronger than my peers.  I’m the same.  I am not built of steal.  I am merely flesh and bone, and flesh and bone cannot withstand what I have faced.14

Please, listen to my story.  Allow me to rant for a minute or two.  Maybe then, you won’t judge people the same way I did…15