the five fish and two loaves

one day i was walking down my neighborhood street when i saw a  lemonade stand. a little kid with a mow-hawk was crouching behind an ice cooler with a tag-board sign that read: Mindfreak Lemonade.1

as i approached, i realized that my hand had been in my pocket, but i felt no coinage within the jeans. the boy smiled up at me, and said, "Mindfreak Lemonade?" i did not smile back. instead i asked him, "Why do you call it Mindfreak Lemonade?"2

just then i heard a school bell in the distance, ringing out in panic. i could still hear the warning buzzer rattling on in my ears, long after it was over, and as i looked at the boy, i could tell by his face that he knew something... his grin widened farther than humanly possible. i heard a soft rumbling getting louder and louder, while my counter-part beamed on like a maniac. he stared off to the horizon, unaware of my lack of funding.3

they hit me like a wall of water against a sea wall. i was swept away by the current, and for a second the momentum kept me above the bodies to see what had happened. thousands of elementary school children had come stampeding down the suburb street. i was awestruck for a split moment, until i was sucked back down into the toiling chaos of little sneakers and plastic lunch boxes. it was then that i knew there would never be enough lemonade for everybody.4

after things had settled, if that's what you want to call it, i managed to find my way to a small overlook. the boy and his cooler were in view, though at the opposite end of the street. between us was a pasture of kindergarten cattle, all waiting to graze on sugar and high fructose corn syrup. i saw him reach for a megaphone out of the cooler.5

"people of every nation, and every color will speak of this day for thousands of years to come," shouted the boy at his kingdom. "i have in front of me five cups of Mindfreak Lemonade, and two sugar cookies..." 6

when he held them up as proof to his witnesses, i decided i could not contain myself any longer. "WHY DO YOU CALL IT MINDFREAK LEMONADE?" i shouted across the vast sea of heads. they all turned in unison, with looks of confusion across their baby brows. it looked as though they had all been wondering the same question. there was shifting among the midst, and i knew that they would not stay put for long. not after the shortage of this marvel's miraculous mixture, anyway. 7

the boy just continued to grin. "ladies and gentlemen, i would like to introduce you all to my dad. everybody, the one and only, CRISS ANGEL!"8

they erupted into applause as The Mindfreak himself exited his house on cue. "hi son!" he called out as he waved to the crowd. 9

"dad, i am out of lemonade again." i watched as the master magician pulled a blanket out of thin air, and spread it over the cooler, the boy, and the lemonade. there were gasps when Angel shouted, "with your powers combined, i am Captain Planet!" no one laughed though, because they were all too young to understand the reference to an early 90's cartoon about saving the environment.10

the blanket came off, the boy sat surrounded by hundreds of cups of lemonade, and a pile of sugar cookies as big as he was. the children cheered, and rushed the boy, pushing and laughing, singing and skipping, galloping and frolicking, until all was gone but a plate of crumbs and an empty pitcher. they were gone as fast as they'd came and i was a better man because of it.  salu.