Taylor Riley is sitting on a park bench crying. Sweet, wet tears of pain and anguish flow freely down her face. ever since her boyfriend of almost 2 years died over a year ago, she hasn't been able to stop crying. And to make matters worse, they come at the most inconvenient times. She cries every night for him, for herself, and for their love that she knows will never come back.1
No one knows exactly how Shawn died. All Taylor remembers is that she had just woke up, expecting to see Shawn next to her. Puzzled, she looks around their one bedroom apartment. She walks in their tiny bathroom hoping he is in the shower. The bathroom is falling apart. The paint is peeling and the toilet always backs up. Plus the tub leaks in the apartment above them, so their bathroom ceiling could fall in at any moment.2
"Shawn, honey, are you in here?" She asks but to no avail.3
Getting more worried, she rushes through the apartment hoping even more fiercely to find him. Through their kitchen with dishes in the sink and into their living room with the TV left on. She glances at the TV and notices a program on by the name of "Most Disgusting". Thoughts start to tumble around in her head as she goes room to room. She goes into her bedroom and right when she is reaching to call her mother, the phone rings. She jumps back, startled, and then grabs the phone.4
"Taylor? It's me, mom. Um....You need to come to the hospital. Shawn was brought in here a few minutes ago. I will give you more details when you get here. I don't want you to be worried on the way here and drive recklessly and end up here yourself. Just get here as soon as you can." 5
Taylor's mind goes blank as her mother utters those words over the phone. Thoughts just rumble in her head. Is he okay? What happened? Was it a car accident? 6
After hanging up, Taylor sits and doesn't move for what seems like hours, but is only mere minutes. Taylor then snaps back to reality and gets dressed, grabs her car-keys, and runs out the front door.7
About fifteen minutes later she arrives at San Quentin General Hospital. She goes up to the front desk and is about to ask the receptionist for Shawn when she sees her mother. In a frantic state of anguish she asks what happened. Words don't stop coming out of her mouth until her mother silences her.8
"Honey, we ourselves don't know exactly. All we know is about thirty minutes ago we had gotten a call that Shawn was in the hospital. They said someone else brought him in here. The doctor's said that there was a lot of blood where Shawn was. I hate to say this to you, but, Shawn's dead!" her mother says, with remorse in her voice9
Taylor collapses on the cold, tile floor, weeping. The love of her life is gone. It's not possible nor feasible. He was just there last night, holding her, telling her he loved her. 10
She gets up off the floor and goes and sits down. The chair is hard but she doesn't care. All she cares about is seeing Shawn again. She didn't even get to say goodbye. It doesn't seem right that she will never see his beautiful green eyes twinkle like they always do! Why would God take someone whom she loved so much? Did He do this to punish her? 11
"Are you Taylor Riley?"12
Taylor looks up and nods, with tears stinging her eyes.13
"Hi, I'm Dr. Wolfenstein. Shawn was brought in here almost an hour ago. The person who brought him in didn't know him, but they said they found him outside of a green Beetle. They said that there was blood everywhere. When he was brought in here, he was already dead. We are still trying to find out what killed him. As soon as more information comes to light, we will tell you what happened. We are deeply sorry for your loss. It is sad when a young person, fresh out of high school, has to suffer such a loss. If you need anything, you know where this is hospital is located. Don't even hesitate." The doctor says as he hands Taylor all of Shawn's things14
That was over a year ago. She still can't get over his death. She doesn't understand why. His death always will haunt her, she has come to realize. Since the days of his death, she has become really good friends with Shawn's best friend, John Cena. He is sweet and tender and knows what she is going through. John and Shawn were friends since they were three years old. They shared the same sicknesses and the same heartbreaks. Wherever one was, the other was sure to be around somewhere. Taylor met Shawn at Sheridan Community College. They both attended the same Philosophy 115 class. They both came to realize, through John, that they both liked each other and they started dating half-way into their freshman year of college. Shawn brought out the best in Taylor. Before she met him, she had Social Anxiety Disorder. Shawn told her that if people don't like her then oh well because he does. Then he kissed her. That was their first kiss. Taylor felt totally at ease with Shawn seeing as though she could be herself around him. After that first kiss the rest was history. 15
Now her life is gone. Although she has taken quite a interest in John, she still doesn't know why her heart is being plagued by guilt!16
"When is this ever going to go away?" she wonders out loud.17
"As soon as you realize that there are other people in this world who love you and care for you and hate to see you hurting like this!"18
Author notes
Read parts 2 & 3 as well!
DISCLAIMER: this piece is in no way attached or affliated with any WWE Wrestler. The names and locations in this piece are brought from my own brain and any relationship to them are purely coincidental.
****TO BE CONTINUED****
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Overall, I believe this is very realistic. It shows how, even with time, it is devastating to deal with the death of someone you love. Good job in that sense. I do agree with the fact that more specific details would make the story come alive to the reader more, appeal more to the senses. There are many opportunities to do that in this story, and I think it would only help. Enjoyed reading this!
Edited on Mar 22, 5:28 because ''. -
I agree it needs a little work
I like the topic of the story and I also like the way you write, however, I really honestly feel that you need to expand on the characters a bit. Not just their physical apperance but really show their emotions. Describe things a bit better. Please do not take offense to what I say next, I mean it with good intentions and I am only trying to be helpful, but without expanding on characters and emotions ie; detail the trip to the hospital, what does the hospital look, smell like,? How did the doors sound when they opened to her? Small things like that, without those things it seems a little generic. Detail the senses in this story and I think that you should keep it!!!! -
very sad..but love is our friend ! *nod*
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Join a writers' group where they do critiquing, and have them help you with the sticky parts.
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WHen you love someone that much, yes you do cry that much!
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I couldn't get through it
Do people really cry that much? -
Some grammatical errors, but they can be fixed. Great story line. People can relate; thus, it hooks us. Nice job. Never stop writing.
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OMG This is so awesomely written. You have done a wonderful job on writing this. I can not wait for parts 2 and 3. I have no doubt that they'll be as good as this one. You have talent. I do hope that you decide to finish it.
Smoochie
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this is a VERY well written story my dear. the story is good, and it kept me interested... in fact, i dont believe my eyes left the screen once. Not one dull moment
-Bravo
-Allison -
Sad
Great write liked this part,"Taylor collapses on the floor, weeping. The love of her life is gone." just loved it. Keep up the wonderful write,
JL -
great
i enjoyed his a lot kept my attention i feel the sadnes in this of course and the pain,i usually dont read short stories either but this caught my eye,you did so well in writing this keep up the great work -
Needs work
The tense seems to be off a little. Maybe because I'm used to all stories being in the past tense. I just find it works a whole lot better.The plot advances too quickly and all there is, is the skeleton of the plot. No heart, no meat on its bones. -
This is a very good write.....It is very sad but very well written. I hope that this is not a true story because how sad..
The part in the poem:
Now her life is gone, although she has taken quite a interest in John, she still doesn't know why her heart is being plagued by guilt!
I think this statement rings all too true for many things in life.....when we loose something that we dont want to loose....its hard to let go great write! Kudos! -Amy
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Im sorry... I didn't mean for it to haunt you...no this story is make believe. Just besure to read the rest of it! Thankz for the comment!
Heather -
How did I give the ending away? Is that why no one else is reading the other two parts? Help
Heather -
This is very well written.
This was a captivating story that almost read as a muse; I mean "this really had a free-flowing rhythm to it. Honestly, I'm just hoping that your story isn't true... Unfortunately, my best friend was taken from me; died with exfixiation, and her boyfriend’s grieving actions was worse than “any movie I've ever seen-!" Thanks for sharing, “PrettyAngelEyes-.” Although, I’m afraid, this story will continue to haunt me for awhile…
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i agree with nekowriter... u did give the ending away but it was still a good read... entertaining =D thanx ^_^
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Taylor here in the US is a name that can be used for both a boy or a girl. And yes, here in the US it is a surname too! There are many different ways to spell Shawn (Shawn, Shaun, Shean just to name a few) Thankz for your comment tho!
Heather -
Well written.
I thought I'd be bored as I often am with short stories, but I was captivated from start to finish.
Actually, captivated is too strong a word to use - perhaps "interested" would be better.
One little thing I didn't like, and it seems so silly, but here in the UK, Taylor is a surname. I've never heard of anyone with Taylor as a christian name.
Also, I've known plenty of Sean's, but no Shawns!
Pedantic?
Correct!
All the best.
Luv,
Robin. -
very interesting write its like a ghost story i
guess , very good i like ghost stories , -
sorry it is almost five o clock and I can't sleep! thankz for the comment tho!
Heather -
thumbs up
It's good, try to be a little more subtle.. you almost give the story away too fast, but other wise it's awsome.
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