Letter to Tanner

Tanner,1

I got your letter in the mail Saturday, but I didn't really have time to finish writing and get down to the post office until today.2

Planning the wedding isn't nearly as fun as it should be. You're gone, Chris refuses to help, and Robert's been working overtime for the past few weeks trying to impress his boss. There's this opening at work and he can make an extra couple thousand a year if he gets it. It's kind of selfish of me to say that he can't do what he's always wanted just because I can't handle a little reception all by myself, isn't it? Lola's helping out – she's wonderful, but there's only so much an eight-year old can do.3

I miss you. We all do. You left so suddenly that we didn't even have time to adjust to the idea of you not being here. Chris is taking it especially hard – he graduates soon, which is just a few weeks before the wedding. I was thinking of getting him that iPod he wanted, but I think what would be best for him is if you came home. I haven't told Rob this, but I'm not sure he's quite ready for high school. I found his report card yesterday. He failed math and was barely passing the rest of his subjects. I'd like to try to help him, but there are many good reasons that I'm teaching philosophy and math isn't one of them. Rob doesn't exactly seem like the best person to help Chris right now. Even though he never says anything, you can tell Chris blames him for your leaving and all my time being eaten up by these plans. He's had to inherit your chores, too, and he's not too thrilled about that, either.4

Lola likes to help him out though, and she's actually dealing with all of this change a lot better than Chris is. She misses you terribly of course, but I teach her the names of the wedding flowers and colours of the dress fabrics to keep her mind off missing. She's started fluffing your pillows every night before bed just in case you come back. 5

Rob doesn't like to show it, but he feels your absence too. He knows how well you talk to Chris, and how much better Lola feels when you're here. You're such a big help to me, and without you it's a lot harder to take care of everyone. Chris claims he will never voluntarily cook a meal. Lola tries, but she's still too young. Rob's always working late now, but in a month or so he'll be in a stable enough position to help out a bit. He regrets whatever it was he said, and I've talked to him. He said he was shocked and he needed time to think, but he found he doesn't much care how you are or who you're with. He wants you here, with Chris and Lola and I so we can be a proper family. It would be nice to know who you're living with, too. You should bring him over for lunch sometime, especially since Rob packs his own food instead of coming home and Chris and Lola will be at school.6

Everything's so hectic, and sometimes I wish that you were still young enough to bring back. Even though your birth certificate says you've been an adult for the last two years, you'll always be my baby.7

Love you, no matter what – 8

Mom9