30 Minutes To Mars (Chapter 1)

The phone call came, and went. It was probably the plumber again. Then they rang again. I was going to tell them to go away and let me sleep. The accent was American. I didn't know the local rent-a-plumber employed Americans, I didn't think they'd want to take the low wages. Anyway, the guy said I'd been selected for a mission. Nothing special, they said. Just a routine mission....1

To Mars...2

Yes. Mars. The Red Planet. The phone went to the floor, as a matter of fact I don't think I put it back all day. You just learn to tune that annoying warble out after a while.3

So, anyway. That was fifteen months ago. Now I'm a NASA trainee.4

Despite...not being American, being an alcoholic and a heavy smoker, and hating everyone equally. So...somebody remind me why I got chosen again? Because I tick EVERY box on the 'reject now' checklist.5

So, anyway, my day consists of...getting up at 4am, then running for an hour for exercise. Then a crafty cigarette while nobody's watching. Then more running followed by reduced gravity training. Oh yeah, and classroom lectures. When do I get to FLY the thing again? I'm not sitting in a glorified coach for eight and a half years, I want my turn at the controls. Who CARES if we go to Jupiter, it'll be a fun diversion! Anyway, I'm rambling. After the lectures, it's lunch, then lectures and running, then bed.6

So...yeah. Not very exciting really.