Choice And Consequence

He grasped my arm and pulled me into his room. The rage he carried about him could be felt in the air and sensed in his eyes. He was very angry with me. He let go of my arm only to shut the door -- he paused before locking it. My heart skipped a beat as I began to realize just how frightened I really was. Again, he paused and turned his face to me. Goosebumps arose on my arms and my lower lip began to tremble. As I backed away from him, he neared me. When I was against his wall, he walked toward me and grabbed my arms violently.1

"Sebastian, I..." I started.2

He quickly placed his finger to my mouth, shook his head 'no,' and whispered "shhh." I looked down at his arms and thought about how firmly they were holding mine. They weren't muscular -- or at least they didn't give that appearance. He kept his gaze harsh and angry. It would not soften. He was so close to me, I could feel his warm breath against my skin. 3

“Please, let m--” I tried again.4

“Would you be quiet,” he yelled sternly. “I don’t want your excuses…I just want to know,” he paused and took a deep breath. “How long?”5

I broke down and began to cry. He shook me in aggravation and screamed, “Answer me, damnit!”6

“Five months,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry, Sebastian.”7

“You’re sorry? Were you sorry when you were fucking him?” he demanded.8

I turned my face away. I couldn’t look him in the eye. The tears wouldn’t cease. They poured relentlessly and had no effect on Sebastian. He grabbed my chin and turned my face back toward him and asked again, “well?”9

All I could do was mouth a ‘no,’ and close my eyes. 10

“Oh no, you’re going to look at me and if you think crying is going to make everything better, you’ve got something else coming.” A soft whimper escaped my lips and I gasped for breath. My heart was beating exceedingly fast at this point and I knew he could feel it. “Nervous, are we? Good. You should be.”11

Fear resided in my eyes as he finally let go of my arms. “Get undressed,” he spoke in a normal tone.12

His request sparked more fear. He left me at the wall and walked toward his bed. I straightened my back, lifted my head and mustered up all the courage I possessed. “No.”13

“No?” Sebastian asked almost as if he were surprised to hear a protest.14

“I won’t,” I said just above a whisper -- my new-found courage lost. 15

He walked over to me again and said plainly, “I don’t think you want me to undress you, but I will if you don’t.”16

I  shivered slightly and stood in an embarrassed silence. I didn’t make a single movement.17

“Fine. We’ll do this my way.” With those words he yanked my shirt up and over my head and tossed it to the ground. In a panic, I ran to the door. Almost effortlessly, Sebastian stopped me, pressed himself against me and placed his hand around my neck. “Although my house is empty, I would rather you be silent. You’re going to be obedient to my commands like the whore you are. Do you understand?”18

“Don’t call--” he cut me off once again. 19

“Don’t call you a whore? But that is what you are -- or rather what you have become. Now, shut up and lie down.”20

I threw me onto the bed and began to unbutton my pants. Hysterically, I started kicking. He grasped my neck again -- this time with a stronger grip -- and told me I would regret doing that again. Having no idea what he was capable of, I submitted with tears welling up in my eyes.21