Stop A Bullet - Chapter Fifteen

Stop A Bullet1

Chapter Fifteen 2

Officer Daniels nodded, taking my statement down.3

“You know normally I would be doing this on a computer,” he said in an attempt to comfort me, my nerves sinking in, rendering me a trembling fit.4

I nodded, hearing his voice, but not understanding his words.5

My head ached, my muscles feeling as if Trey had wrapped them around a balled chain, ready to drag me along the back roads of the country: all the while my body was being stretched, wrenched and torn to its limits, leaving only an inch of skin on my body; saving me from bleeding to death.6

“So before I start I will go through the procedure with you. If you have any questions, please ask me, I can't help you unless you work with me, all right Taint?”7

I nodded again, this time making a conscious effort on my part to listen. I found it hard, the more time pressed on and fear surged through my body, the more I wanted to run away, run away from everything. From Officer Daniels, from Ashley, from the station, from my family, from my whole damn life. 8

I tried not to blink, my eyes watering in the light that flashed on my face. Eliminating my exhaustion further for Officer Daniels to make his assumptions, I knew he was. I could see it in his glazing eyes as he pushed the piece of paper before me, pointing to my name.9

“I will ask you one more time, are you sure about making this statement Taint?”10

I scanned the paper, my name on the top of the page, the words “Domestic violence and sexual abuse” in capital letters beside my name. I shivered, the room seemed colder than usual or it might have just been the hairs on my back that crawled like maggots to dead flesh, digging deep, disturbing me to the marrow. Those words, that statement; the truth had never looked this terrifying, this deadly or daunting. 11

“I am sure,” I muttered, regaining control over my fears, pushing the piece of paper back in his direction. “There is no going back now,” I half-joked, looking towards the closed door. My finger nails grating against the arm of the chair. “I am sure.”12

Officer Daniels nodded taking the piece of paper, his pen to the page: ready to begin. He smiled reassuringly, like my mother would when trying to hide a secret, just like she had when my father had left us. He was trying to spare me something, but what? What could he possibly say that could make me change my mind? That would make me change my mind and cause me to run, run as far away from my life as I possibly could?13

I wished Ashley was here. The feeling returned, the urgency to hold his hand, squeezing it until my own turned purple with loss of circulation. Anything seemed better than doing this alone, taking this roller coaster of a experience on my own: I hated it, I hated this place.14

“This is how it works Taint,” Officer Daniels began, steering me away from my imagination. “I will take your statement, I will then read it back to you and if you are happy with the statement I will take your signature and you are free to leave.”15

Was that all? It can't have been as simple as that. There was no justice in taking my word. It sounded as if he was just going to take my word and put me in a que. There was no way I could bide my time in the presence of Trey waiting for the Police to take some kind of action.16

Officer Daniels frowned. 17

“Do you have any questions Taint? You look like you have something you want to ask me?”18

I nodded, there was no shame in asking and for my own benefit and peace of mind I had to question him on the whole procedure: before I wasted my time with the full story. This was not some read-along story I was telling for the fun of it, or to get back at my step-father.19

This was my families lives: my mother and sisters personal lives. I was not about to give in that easily and I was ashamed in myself for thinking that this could have run so smoothly as I imagined in my head, only hours ago. 20

“Yes I do. What happens following the statement I make?”21

Officer Daniels raised his eyebrows. His pen flicking against the page. His eyes upon mine.22

“Well after I take your statement, and it is signed then we make a house call, work call or we find the whereabouts of the suspect and an arrest will be made. We will also need to take statements from any other family members, colleagues and friends that the suspect may have.”23

I sat back in the chair, taking his words in. The though of Trey being handcuffed and behind bars almost to much for my mind to handle at present. It was like a present, a gift, knowing that the action that would be taken against him would happen so quickly. I had expected it to take weeks, months even.24

“So what happens after he is arrested and everyone is interviewed?” I asked leaning forward. Pressing my fingertips hard against the desk, steering the though of sleep from my mind; replacing it with a more convenient sensation. One I was only starting to become accustomed to.25

“The suspect will be charged and taken into custody, until he can report for Bail.”26

Bail? I had not expected that. I had heard it mentioned on the television. Men charged with assault and not being able to make bail, for the same circumstances that Trey had put his family in. All revolving around money. If it was money he needed, it was money they did not have, or if they did have. How come they never saw it?27

“What if the suspect cannot afford to pay bail?” I asked, worry washing over me like a net, catching me out, reeling me back into the deep end once again. Would this ever get easier?28

Officer Daniels brought his pen to his lips. His eyes fixated on the wall behind me. There it was again, that look. He knew I could not afford it, that my family could not afford it.29

I mean it did not take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. I looked like my parents had dragged me out of the rubbish tip as a baby, that being my only way and means of survival. I smelt sickening and vile; so foul it was hard to believe that anyone could stand the stench. They must have all had strong stomach's, although I had tried hard to disguise it with mouth wash and deodorant: before arriving, leaving me with an ounce of confidence to keep me strong.30

The truth of the matter was I knew for a fact that Trey did not have that kind of money. My mother did not have that kind of money and both my grandparents were struggling as it was to keep themselves alive in this day and age, let alone fend for the brute that Trey was. Not that anyone had the slightest idea of the real Trey. The Trey behind the plastic, false smile and the bear hugs of affection and respect.31

Those days where long gone, and as I sat there in silence. Officer Daniels words drifting through the air, in an airy voice. I was beginning to look into the future. The future of my family, the media, the questions and the hatred. 32

The disappointment and disgust from my grandparents as Trey walked the line of Justice. Maggie smiling as she once again was able to sleep soundly, never having the relive Trey's anger in the form of her abuse and my mother, my dear mother never having to depend on Trey ever again. 33

It all seemed to appealing. It had its definite pro's and con's, but even in the downfall the outcome looked reachable. Anything was better than the life I was living, that they were living: a life without Trey. It seemed unimaginable, never to have him in my presence again. It was a frightening thought, that petrified me to the core of my being, but it was one that I could easily get accustomed to.34

“If the suspect cannot afford bail, they will then be held in custody till they can make bail, but if all else fails they will be held in custody until the magistrate can pay their bail. After that they will be given a date to appear in court and plead their case. The rest is out of my hands.”35

“So you mean to say that if the suspect can't pay bail they remain in jail until the verdict is given at court?”36

Officer Daniels nodded.37

“Most of the time, that is the way it happens. It depends on the crime really and if they can find the bail money. I have known of one man who never saw his family till his first scheduled visit. Sad case really and from what I know they never even visited.”38

“I'm not sure I want that,” I whispered. Imagining my mother shaking the iron bars of Trey's Prison cell. Tears wreaking havoc down her cheeks, her voice hoarse from screaming. 39

It all seemed a wondrous dream, it seemed like the perfect plan in my mind, but I had not even given thought to the affects of having Trey behind bars could do to the family. We relied on him to keep the family together. To keep us sheltered, fed and educated. What would happen when that was taken from not only me, but the rest of my family as well?40

“This is murder,” I stated.41

“Taint, look I have a lot of people who come to make a statement only to walk away without making one. It is common, if you really aren't up to it today I can give you my number so that when you are ready we can arrange another for you to come by another time. You might decide that you don't want to at all, but I am going to have to follow up on this.”42

I shook my head, I did not need more time. I wanted this to be over with so that I could go home knowing that I would be safe, that the rest of my family would be safe too. What I did need was courage and I was lacking in it. I needed to push past my fears, my anxiety. The thoughts that were blurring my vision, making it hard for me to tell the truth, making it hard for me to think of the very reason I was here in the first place: to protect my family.43

“ There is no great rush, but by law I will have to make note that you came here today to report domestic violence and in this country that is a crime. No crime should do unpunished or be pushed aside. You aren't the first and you wont be the last as long as humanity lives, as long as there is crime. I can imagine you don't want this to continue, which is why you came and I understand that, but look at the larger picture, I do think you need time.”44

I stared at the door.45

Who was I trying to kid, of course I needed time. I needed to sort it out in my head. Time to construct a better plan, but it was time I did not have. I feared for my life, I feared for my families lives. I feared that there would be a no next time. Trey had made his threat, his warning and I knew that he would not back down or weaken, he would succeed. 46

“I don't have time,” I stated, punishing back my chair, rising to me feet so that I towered over his desk. “But I also know this was a mistake.”47

Officer Daniels nodded, taking a sheet of paper from underneath my statement.48

I watched as he tore it in half, scribbling down a number: before handing it to me and rising to his own feet.49

“If anything happens call me and If I am not able to come, I will notify the station and one of the officers will assist you. In the meantime hang in there. I know it is hard and may seem like stupid advice, but I have been their and seen it many times in my years on the force so don't be afraid to speak up. It could save your life.”50

I took the sheet of paper from his hand, scrunching it up into a ball, shoving it inside my pocket.51

It sickened me that I had wasted his time. Time that could have been spent saving another's life. I was selfish, but I could see in Officer Daniels eyes that it did not worry him one bit, that he was more than happy to help and that soothed the uneasiness that had crept into my body, shaking me, terrifying me causing me to imagine that if I left the building now, I would never return again.52

“Thanks,” I said softly, pushing my chair in. “ I'm sorry I wasted your time, I did think about this I swear, it's just...”53

Officer Daniels rested his palm on my shoulder, smiling, without a worried brow.54

“I understand, it is okay. Just promise me, for your own sake that if something goes wrong that you will notify the station. I would hate to think that you were in danger. I can assume you already are, but don't be afraid. There are people in this world who want to help. Just remember that.”55

I nodded, stepping away from the desk, following Officer Daniels to the door.56

“I appreciate your help,” I thanked him, as he opened the door, allowing me to step back into the reception Lobby.57

Ashley stood, leaning against the wall. His eyes scanning Officer Daniels as he shook my hand and stepped back into his Office, ready to continue his day of work.58

I walked over to Ashley, trying not to look him in the eye, but I knew that he would catch on.59

“You didn't go through with it did you?” he asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, leading me towards the entrance.60

“I tried, but I failed. I failed them again.”61