The distance long
I cry out for your song
A voice on the phone
And a text every so often1
I am no more
When you aren't around
All I can do
Is lay in bed and cry2
The distance short
If only for a couple of hours
I cry no more
Once again I am happy3
The distance long
All I can do is think about you
When I can see you next
Cuz a webcam just won't do it4
Will I ever be truely happy
You by my side
Never leaving me again
Always there for me5
Or will it be
The distance long
A voice on the phone
And a text every so often6
I love you
And you reply
I love you
But the distance is so long7
The distance long
Never wanting to be away from you
Crying for your touch
When will the distance shorten
Author notes
Hmmm...wondering if I should delete this? We broke up like a million years ago. Nah, because even if we weren't meant to be, I'll never forget him =)
A contest entry
- I want some good poems by Fervent-Author.
209 points, ended September 29, 2008, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
AH I know the drama, I know the pain, and the hardship. My best friend is in a long distance relationship and her bf/lover is in America. I admire her dedication to his love and admire anyone who is willing to put in the hard yard to make one work: the distance may be far, but the love is always there.
well done
Good luck in the contest
♣ blake
-
Hmmm....
I thought, since you had viewed one of my pieces, that it would be courteous to return the favour. But here's the rub; I like poetry, but have neither the aptitude nor the concentration to give a satisfactory critique; sad, isn't it?
My only comment on this piece, and remember I'm 56, is that it reflects your homepage. I get the feeling that you try to lose yourself in music, but that it only works with an appreciative audience. In this, you are the antithesis of me, who has never wanted to compete since my very early teens, and find the idea tedious in the extreme.
The poem itself needs no investigation for its source, but I suspect that you could be a bit freer in your expression if you took the time to extend your vocabulary, or at least utilised the obviously lucid thought processes to express your longing in a slightly less negative tone. The old thing of "Accentuate the positive", seems to have been overcome by the long distance of the separation. As Dame Julia Norris put it, "All will be well, and all will be well, and all will be very well." Keep the faith!
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