Slow Your Heart - A story originating from one line

“Slow your heart,” he told me.1

Slow my heart? Is he trying to kill me?2

“Deep breaths,” he continued, his deep voice almost vibrating in my sternum.3

I was thrown into therapy before I could have any say about what happened. Thrown in before any damage was done.4

“Now, we’re going to try a new method today.” I had been going for three years and I assumed that we’d already been through all of the psychobabble Dr. Brosbin had stored away. But never have I even opened my mouth about the subject yet.5

“I know you really think I’m going to have some kind of breakthrough today, but it’s just not going to happen,” I finally warned.6

“Well then, that’s the first thing you’ve said in…three sessions?” He paused for a moment. “Now, now, I believe in this. It’s not a mirroring exercise or anything to do with abstract art. All you have to do is keep doing what you’re doing. Slow your heart. Deep breaths. Clear your mind.”7

I obliged. I mean, my family is paying for this after all.8

“Relax your body. Close your eyes.” I spread out on the couch, slouching into a laying down position.9

“Ok, now, I’m going to explain this exercise to you and then I’m going to ask you a few questions.”10

I nodded.11

“This method of therapy is called hypnosis. It is a relaxation exercise to open the mind and body.” Not the best definition, but I listened. “Now I’m going to ask you a few simple questions and you are going to try to answer as truthfully as you can. When I clap my hands you will no longer be in a hypnotic state.”12

“Ok.”13

I heard a few rustlings of paper and readjustings on the seat.14

“What happened on the night of November 14th, 2003?”15

“It was dark.”16

“Yes, go on.”17

“The cars, they were going by so fast. I could barely see them.”18

“Mhm.” The sound of the pen scribbling on the pad was increasing with every new sentence.19

“Henry was there."20

“Tell me more about Henry.”21

“He’s so cute, my little brother. He wanted to play.”22

“What did he want to play?”23

“Hopscotch.”24

“Did you play hopscotch together?”25

“No. We had no chalk.”26

“I see. So what did you do instead?”27

“We went into the woods.”28

“Were the woods scary?”29

“Yes. There were owls.”30

“What did you and Henry do in the woods?”31

“We walked for a long time.”32

“Where did you walk to?”33

“I don’t know.”34

“What did it look like?”35

“There was no light.”36

“What happened next?”37

“A man came and said hello.”38

“What did the man do?”39

“He told us to follow him, and then he, he took us to a house, and, and locked the door and then he turned on the oven and grabbed our wrists and –“ I burst out laughing! I just couldn’t stop. I guess I either pulled that off really well Dr. Brosbin is the worst psychiatrist on the face of the earth. When I opened my eyes, Dr. Brosbin was on the edge of his seat, frozen in a stare. I couldn’t tell if he was shocked, scared or just worried. I cannot believe my parents have paid for this guy for this long, especially since there’s been no change.40

“Dr. Brosbin, this is a ridiculous exercise.” I said, nonchalant.41

“I – I can’t believe you just did that. I’m trying to help you.” I could see he was embarrassed.42

“And I can’t believe that you believed it.”43

“You’ve done some stupid things before, but nothing like that.”44

“Well, I got my message across.”45

“If you don’t want to see a therapist, you should “get your message across” to your parents, not to me. What do you think I’m going to do about it? This is my job.”46

“You are truly the most terrible therapist I’ve ever seen. All you do is talk about yourself, care about yourself. You just want a breakthrough so you can go write a bestseller about your difficult patient who hadn’t spoken about a tragic event in three years and hypnosis got her to reveal all.” I took a breath. “Maybe I should be your therapist.”47

“Ms. Kline, I’ll see you on Tuesday.”48

“Or not.” I smiled, and with that I gathered my things and walked out the door.