As I Lay Me Down To Sleep

When darkness falls for the last time, a single moment of realisation comes, and you see all of your faults, your mistakes. You see the truth of the past and future, the possibilities that could have been, and you realise your own mortality. 1

The man stood in a dessert, surrounded by sand so deep brown they bordered on a dark maroon,color of blood. Next to him stood another, his companion. The one who was here to see what he did not know in his life, for his life is now over, and it is time to reveal his own place in the universe. 2

'You see above us the endless stars, and in the world of the living they are nothing, but here the stars can tell you all you would like to know', the man said, pointing upwards. His hands swept in an arc to show the great canvas of pinpricked lights shining down on him and his companion. 3

'All you have to do is ask the question.' he said, turning to his companion, his face lit by a loving smile. 4

The companion turned to his guide, a dark look on his face. Hesitating, he asked 'Did she love me?' 5

The guide sighed and bent down, picking up a handful of sand. He held it up and let it flow slowly out, the grains lost in the growing darkness as the light faded and the bright stars above grew. 6

'Love is like this handful of sand, ever changing, ever flowing. No two people see it the same way. You see the grains falling, I see the grains returning. As with all love, it is different, but as unending as the vastness of this place you are in now. Watch closely, let me show you.' 7

With that the guide threw the last remaining sand in the air, where it stayed. Soon the grains grew thicker to form an image the companion could understand. 8

9

A dog barks and looks backwards, hoping to see his master following. In his eyes shone a caring for his owner so deep that nobody could break that bond. Here he comes, his tail wags and he barks one more time out of happiness. The man comes over to the dog and yells at him to keep quiet, but the dog doesn't understand, cannot comprehend what he is hearing for he is too happy too see his master, that the warning signals of the approaching boot doesn't register until the crunching pain wrenches through the poor animal. Yet he keeps looking at his master with love. 10

11

'That is the love you had for her, as a dog for his abusive owner. Whilst you were blinded by passion, she pained you through hate and fear. To answer your question, she did love you yes, but like a pet.' 12

The companion did not cry, that time was over, for now he has no such cares anymore, but he understands now the pain caused when a man cannot see the warning signs. 13

He gave one look at the stars, and asked his companion, 'Was I alone?' 14

The guide gave a short laugh and threw his arms around his companion, they started walking in a direction, their feet shuffling in the sand. 15

'When you see the stars they are like a blanket above you. Each gives so little light that it is insignificant. Yet when you add them together they can illuminate your path for you.' he said, turning to his companion. Pointing backwards they could both see the way they had come, in the darkness their footprints clearly marked by the slight starlight that shone from above. 16

'And so it is too with people. Each is alone in this world, adding nothing to it on their own, but together you make your own light, even when you don't realise it. So to answer your question, no, you were never alone, there are countless more like you, and always will be.' 17

The companion nodded in understanding, he realised then that all he had to do was reach out to those around him, for they are as similar as the grains of sand. Perhaps there he could have seen himself reflected in the eyes of another. 18

He turned again to his guide, trying to see the face that was forever cloaked in shifting shadows. 19

'Why did it hurt so much?' 20

The guide bent down and drew with his finger the image of a sword, which became a sword. He picked it up, the blade flashing in the paltry light of countless stars. 21

'When metal is forged it is melted, red hot and liquid. Useless. But yet when poured into water, the metal cools and becomes hard. Yet even then it is useless. So the smith takes a hammer and hits the metal into shape. Each blast rings out deafening for all to hear who is close, and they hear metal being tortured. Yet when the smith is finished, he has made a thing of beauty and precision. So to answer your question, life hurts because you are metal being formed into an artwork. When you're time of smiting is done, so too will you be at peace.' 22

The companion once again nodded, understanding now how life was always changing and evolving, forming people to be better than they are, to grow past their own limitations. And if such growing was painful, then so be it. No change comes easily, and sometimes the best changes come in the most painful of ways. 23

With this the companion turned to his mysterious guide. 24

'Who are you?' he asked, still not knowing the answer. 25

The guide smiled and stepped out from under the shadows, his face so familiar to the companion. 26

'I am you.' 27

The companion then understood, he himself had known the answers to his questions all the time.28