Death of a Broken Planet


DEATH OF A BROKEN PLANET1

By ROBERT DAVIDSON2


Often it seems like I have betrayed my world
like a rough lover, mauling
bruising his woman in the dark -
leaving marks upon her skin3

In my bomb shelter - I perch on the very edge
as greenhouse gases befoul the air
and choke me like traffic fumes.
I watch my planet burn outlike the woman I once raped and left to rot4

Along my streets the newsboys cry
the old burnt-out world is dead - a stillborn babe
as sick cities fall like crumbling Babylons5

My own stumblings are on stony ground
as my planet withers - becomes a barren moonscape
with detonations inevitable as fallout.
Fear crawls like a lizard on my skin
while mushroom clouds maul her torn-apart face6

Oh yes, I buried the waste, that
one day will poison my child.7

The broken body of my world
lies prostrate like my wife when beaten by her husband -
Such was the surrender I wanted8

But she will not be mine to rob and rape again
for my broken planet dies - Guernica, Hiroshima, Chernobyl9

Her womb becomes my tomb.10

Copyright 2008 robertdavidson11

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 18 of 18
  • Black-Bird
    June 19

    Edit | Reply

    nice...

    I like the message throughout. It's very haunting. I couldn't even imagine being in that type of condition, but it's happening all around us.
    Great job, good luck.


  • ForThePlague
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    Um...Okay, I don't really see how that had to do with weather. Not at all. It was very thought out, but not the best for my contest. Thanks for entering anyway


  • Artificial.Smiles. gold member
    December 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very interesting poem. It gave me a lot to think about, and the things being compared was very interesting, i liked it a lot!

    Good Luck in my Contest!


  • trekkergirl
    December 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I do remember reading this one before. I do like it. Thanks for sharing this and thanks for entering it into my contest. It is very well written.


  • spaz4ever
    November 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very good! This is probably one of the best pieces i have read yet!! Keep it up and the best of luck in the contest!


  • WritersEffigy Greeters member
    November 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very powerful words with striking imagery. A lot to think about.

    Thanks for entering!


  • Neolittlefish
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    YAY! This is the sort of thing I like, very deep and emotional. You wrote it well and I enjoyed it a lot, well done and thanks for entering!


  • Kevan gold member
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful and descriptive. I especially liked the imagery it portrayed. It was very precious and a really great read.

    Best of luck!

    xoxoxo.
    Kevan Henshaw.


  • Alyana
    September 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow very emotional thanks for your entry!
    snaps and good luck!
    Alyana


  • Sgs silver member
    September 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love your first stanza:
    "Often it seems like I have betrayed my world
    like a rough lover, mauling
    bruising his woman in the dark -
    leaving marks upon her skin"
    This is very emotional, thanks for the entry.


  • Reaver Greeters member
    September 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was just what i wanted for this contest adn appreciate how much you put into it. No matter what reason you wrote it, it's obvious it was something you did with care. This was just perfect adn you are a finalist

    Great job and Great writing!

    Rian


  • Bello.Midnight
    September 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Astounding.
    The time and effort put into this poem...
    Just the way it was presented, the visions the beauty.
    The sadness in depth. It near brought me to tears.
    I think it is the way that you bury us deep in every line..to make the poem whole and it just rings beauty...
    honest work..I loved it

    good luck with the contest
    ♣


  • Mel-the-Believer
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was so beautiful and so full of emotion. I loved it, I really did. Thank you so much for entering. Good luck. God Bless!


  • Prodigious.Mirth gold member
    September 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I was just shattered reading this.
    I am speechless really.
    Not sure what to say- or if I can define how this makes me feel.
    It is confusing really.
    But I feel really sick... inside
    beautiful
    well done.
    Provokative.

    B~


  • Fervent-Author
    September 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, this is incredible, I thought it was almost haunting in the way it was written, amazing job.

    Echo

  • Elphinstone
    September 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    another really good piece of work

    A very nice poem. You almost have me saying that I prefer poems to stories, but I dont think that there is any poem that can make me do that. Anyway, indeed, very good(yes I know it's an overused cliche) but it didn't really have me crying, which is what I really want to do(dont ask me y) but yeah, keep up the good work


  • Intoxica
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was so...powerful.
    VERY well written, I feel.
    How could anyone compete with THAT? (Well actually i haven't read any of the other entries yet)
    Good job. I'll check out your other work.

1 - 18 of 18