Untitled - Chapter 18 - Pulling Strings - Seg.3

{segment 3 of chapter 18 - Logan}1

The sky is darkening as I head up the stairs and into the church. The doors are never closed to anyone, no matter what time of day, so there’s heavy surveillance and mech guards lining the walls, standing between the marble pillars so motionlessly that you almost assume that they’re just part of the decoration. This church is very large, being so close to the centre of the City, and the heavily carved ceilings rise to the heavens. Stained-glass windows far above me cast dim coloured light on the red carpet as I head down the aisle, trailing a hand on the sides of the wooden benches as I go.2

The church is somewhat crowded at this time; priests mill around the edges of the room lighting the thousand candles as they do every night, and there are a few people here to watch the church get lit. A woman with two small sons, a lone man seated near the back in a black tie and suit, and a few others. I take a seat in the second row to the front and watch the priests in their unhurried work. A small, grey-haired one pauses on his way to smile at me. 3

“Ah, it’s you again. Just here to think, as usual, or is there anything I can do for you, son?”4

“No, I’m fine,” I reply in a hushed voice. 5

He nods pleasantly and continues on his way. The people won’t leave for a little while yet, but at least all I can sense is their contentment and peace. And of course, the curiosity of the two young boys behind me as they watch the candles get lit. With a sigh, I lean back in my seat and close my eyes. Peace.6

It was hard enough to be around Avi’s misery, but I accidentally passed a hospital on my way back to the labs, and those places are full of extreme emotion. Joy, fear, hope, pain, despair, all at once. It’s good to have a place like this to get away from all that. I relax, not moving until I sense the last priest leave the church, heading home. No one worries that I’m planning on sleeping here all night, because everyone has a home to go to in the City.7

My only company is the emotionless mechs; so finally, I’m left with nothing but my own thoughts. I think about what Avi said to me today. I’d thought that when a person needed another person simply to be around, that was love. But I guess it’s not. I suppose I never really had an understanding of such a concept, even though I’ve felt it in other people before. I’ll just have to take Avi’s word for it. Apparently, people ‘just know’. But how does she know that, if she’s not in love herself?8

Hmm. Why bother thinking about such an irrational notion? I open my eyes and stare at the dark ceiling as the flickering candlelight reaches upward. “How are you all tonight, mechs?” I ask. I can’t speak to them in their language because of the surveillance, but it makes little difference. I briefly wonder if they’re programmed to reply.9

“The night is well, young master,” they answer as one, their tinny voices filling the air.10

I smile knowingly and sit up, looking at them all in turn. “Yes, but I asked how you were.”11

There’s another pause; I’m confusing them. Finally, they all end up giving me a report on their physical status. “Circuits all in working order, all systems functioning perfectly, hinges 035, 228 and 229 need to be cleaned, a full maintenance check is due in 54 days.” They’re all saying different things at once, and I laugh at their misunderstanding. Rising, I move from my seat and pace casually up and down the carpeted aisle, making conversation with them all. The whole scene reminds me of a woman I saw earlier today talking to her dog.12

“What model are you?” I ask.13

“Model 7201, the Enzi 0.1.”14

“Oh, you’re older than I thought,” I say, pausing briefly. “How interesting. I thought for sure you were 0.2. I suppose my mind’s been on other things lately. At least I was close.”15

“Yes, young master.”16

“You know, I’m not that young,” I say, slightly irritated. “You don’t need to call me that.”17

“Your age is calculated to be approximately 16 years old, based on your appearance,” they insist.18

“But you can also tell I’m not a normal human, right? Maybe that means you should be judging my age by a different meter?”19

The sounds of machines working faster tells me that they’ve finally discovered that I’m not human at all. Like all mechs are, they’re confused by this more than anything. I don’t want to overload them, so I change the subject. You should never ask a computer to think outside the square.20

“How long have you been working here?” I ask. “Was this your first job?21

The machines quieten. “Yes, young master.”22

“Hmm,” I murmur. “Sounds like a boring life, if you’ve all been standing in this church for the last eight years.”23

“I am happy to serve the City,” they all assure me. I wonder why mechs always say that; of course they aren’t happy. They aren’t anything. Am I happy? 24

I slow to a halt and drift off into thought.25

Out of nowhere, a sudden pain jabs through my head. Something slams onto my knees, the world shifts, and I realise that I’ve collapsed on the ground.26

“Logan!” an alarmed voice cries, footsteps patter up to me and a pair of gentle hands touch my shoulders. But the pain was as brief as it was terrible. I sit up, looking around to find…”27

“Avalia,” I blink. “What on earth are you doing here?”28

She looks concerned. “Are you alright? What happened? You just dropped to the floor, making a gasping sound. It was horrible. What happened?”29

I can barely imagine that the pain was there at all now; only a shadowy memory remains, and it fades as fast as the memory of a dream. “I’m fine,” I tell Avalia. “I had a sudden… migraine… but I’m fine, now.”30

She looks doubtful, but lets go of me, putting her hands in her lap where she kneels on the floor beside me. “Do you remember what happened? Did something trigger it?” I was just standing there. Maybe I was thinking about something… 31

“I can’t… remember,” I say. “I can’t remember.” But I do remember what happened before that, and an idea reoccurs. “Avi, what are you doing here?” 32

She blushes. “I’m sorry. I escaped the Triumph so that I could go for a walk alone and clear my head. I have to give a speech tomorrow on live television, introducing myself to the Insiders for the first time as their Empress. I guess I’m nervous.”33

“Oh.”34

“It was just coincidence that I came by this church, and I was just as surprised when I saw you here as you were to see me. But you were talking to the… mechs, so… I didn’t want to interrupt. Are you sure you’re ok? Should we go to a hospital?”35

“I’m fine.” I check to make sure my face is still blank before speaking. “How long were you listening?”36

“Not long,” Avalia reassures me. She must be telling the truth, because I would have sensed her emotions. “I came in when you were asking about how long they’ve been working here. Why?” she frowns slightly. “Did you tell them something you wouldn’t want me to know?”37

She’s more perceptive than I thought. “No. Well, yes, I suppose,” I admit. “My thoughts are my own.”38

“And you share them with mechs, but not people?” she laughs.39

“Well, yes. Mechs won’t tell anyone. And these old models probably don’t understand half of what I’m saying anyway.”40

“That’s true,” she grins. “I guess that makes sense. You’re lucky, to feel so comfortable around them.” There’s a short pause as we stand. “You haven’t told me yet,” Avi begins, “what you’re doing here.”41

“Oh,” I say. “I come here all the time. To churches, I mean.”42

“To talk to mechs?”43

“No,” I smile. She waits expectantly, making me lower my eyes. What does it matter? Jonn knows. And I can always tell her later that I was lying. “You see, I feel people’s emotions. At times it can be overwhelming, but at churches, I’m safer.” I watch for her reaction.44

She stares at me in surprise. “You mean you… can sense what I’m feeling right now?” she whispers.45

I nod. “You’re not as sad as you were before. That’s good. Now, you’re just nervous.”46

Avi nods right back, stunned. “Well I… guess that would explain a few things.”47

Now it’s my turn to be surprised. “Explain what few things?”48

“Well… You always understand people. For someone who doesn’t seem all that emotional, I’d expect you to have trouble understanding. And you always avoid hospitals,” she says. “On our way to the Triumph, every time we came close to a hospital, you’d steer away, making a longer trip than it would be if you’d just gone straight there.”49

“You noticed that?” I ask.50

“Hospitals interest me,” she shrugs. “We never had them on the Outside.”51

“You never had any buildings on the Outside,” I point out. Avalia shrugs again, dropping us into another silence. “I’m surprised you’re taking this so easily,” I frown. “My friend Jonn wouldn’t believe me for ages. Isn’t it kind of unbelievable?”52

“Isn’t it unbelievable that an Outsider could be an Empress?” she asks dryly. “There’s very little I can’t believe anymore.”53

“I understand,” I say, nodding reasonably.54

“Why did you tell me this, Logan?” she asks suddenly.55

“Hmm?” Why did I tell her this? I wonder. There was no reason for it. “I don’t know.” Because I’m insane, obviously.56