Unsafe Kind Of Safe (5)

I closed the door of Leo's room behind me and walked down the hall to my own. I zipped my pants up all the way up and ran my fingers through my unruly hair before entering.1

She was gone. That couldn't be possible. So I checked the bathroom with hope, only to find it empty.2

Shit3

I ran out and down the stairs, determined to find her. As I reached the bottom I heard commotion in the front room and took myself to it. The boys were home.4

I found them both hovering over her. She was naked. Chase and Adam. They wouldn't dare pass up the chance at fresh meat.5

"Just what the fuck do you think your doing?" I asked sternly, like a father yelling at his children. The way they act they might as well be children.6

Their heads snapped up at me and Chase managed a forced smile.7

"I found her in your room when I came to talk to you. Didn't think you'd mind." he said with a slight laugh. I didn't smile.8

"I do." I snapped, erasing all traces of false calmness off his face.9

"Come on, man. We just wanted to play." Adam said, trailing his fingers along the skin of her arm.10

"Let her up." They backed off and she sat up, trying to cover herself. I held out my hand to her and she took a hold of it and pulled her self up.11

I quickly took off my shirt and helped her put it on. It almost reached her knees. I pulled her into me and she hid her face in my chest as I smoothed back her hair and kissed her forehead.12

"Liam-" Chase began, but I shoot him a an icy glare.13

"Leave her alone and stay out of my room." I looked over at Adam. "That goes for you as well."14

And with that I turned, guiding her up the stairs back to my room. She was crying softly so I shushed and sat her down on my bed.15

"Are you okay?" I asked, gently putting her hair behind her ear. "Did they hurt you?"16

She began to cry harder and I sighed. "They won't bother you again." I hesitated and took a small breath. "I promise." I added on, barely audible. I 'm not usually one to promise anything to anyone, but I willing to let this time pass, considering the situation I'm putting her in.17

I turned her chin up to me and looked deep into her eyes. Her dark blue eyes. Dark waters. Uncharted. Undiscovered. Unable to tell it's secrets within. So hard to break through. To even make a ripple on the surface. Impenetrable. Why couldn't I get through to her?18

Wait as second. Have completely gone off my rocker? I don't think things like that. I didn't even know I was capable. What was wrong with me? Better yet, what was she doing to me? Keeping me awake at night trying to guess her name. Making me think things I shouldn't about some insignificant girl.19

This isn't me. I don't react this way to other people. I don't care about other people. All I need is myself to get me through the day. I've never had the help from anyone else besides myself and I want it to stay that way. I don't want to care about anyone else. It complicates things more than necessary.20

But I'm also not one to treat anyone cruelly unless they deserve it. Not counting what I do to women everyday. That's a completely different side of me. The human side of me hates the other side and loathes to be separated from it for good. The human part of me wishes for redemption for what he let the other part do for years on end. I know I can be a better person. But not until I break a hold over whatever it is that changes me. Until then I do what I can when I can.21

I suddenly let go of her chin and she looked at me with fear. But I simply shook my head, slightly annoyed. "I'm not going to hurt you. Haven't I told you that? And as long as I'm working on that I might as well not let them do it either. Seems a waste of effort when you think about it."22

But her expression didn't soften with caused a sort of tug in my chest. My teeth clinched at this sudden feeling and I quickly took a deep breath to shove it away. That was very uncomfortable.23

"I don't enjoy keeping you here." I said, stabbing at a chance to defend myself. She looked doubtful and I rolled my eyes. "Okay, maybe on occasion I like keeping you here, but on my defense I can't exactly help it." At this her eyes seemed to soften just a bit. No longer boring through me with fear of me about to pounce on her, but as if she almost believed me to some point.24

Of course I didn't blame her for not letting her guard down on the count of I didn't have a shirt on and she was practically naked sitting very close to the guy that violated her just a night ago. I kind of saw her point. But I knew myself I wasn't going to do anything. Oddly enough, she didn't interest me that way when I wasn't craving. And it was possibly to that fact that I just finished up on her best friend. I'm pretty sure that'll defiantly hold me off for a while. I didn't really try to restrain myself on her. Which felt strangely satisfying to a certain degree. I liked the temporary feeling of no control...25

My fingertips felt suddenly cold and I looked down to find my hand resting causally on her bare thigh. She was freezing so much she was shivering. Now that I think about it, I do feel rather drafty myself. I guess no heat in a house does that to you. But when I looked down red caught the corner of my eye. On her opposite thigh was a deep slash split right down to the meat of it.26

I drew in a short breath and looked up at her. She was shaking. Whether from her wound or the coldness I didn't know. "Did they do this to you?" I asked, but of course I all ready knew the answer. Beside I couldn't tell if she was nodding or if that was just the shaking.27

"Well why didn't you say anything?" She didn't answer and I huffed. "Right, because you don't speak to me unless you think your friend is in mortal danger. Excuse me, I forgot." This just annoyed me too much to even think about at the moment. She would have let her entire leg fall off before she told me.28

"Well come on." I said a little impatiently. "Let's warm you up first." I pulled her up with me and towed her into the bathroom. The tiled floor felt like walking on a frozen lake.29

I started the hot water in the tub, but it seemed to taking forever to heat up. So I turned back to her and rubbed my hands up and down her arms to create heat. She slowly subsided from shaking and now just her lips seemed to be quivering. And somehow I found the time to find that unusually cute in some way. But I quickly shook my head and pushed the thought from my mind, figuring it was just the temperature getting to my head.30

"Here, get in." I told her, gesturing to the tub of warm water. She stepped in and laid down, not even bothering to take off the shirt I put on her. She then closed her eyes and submerged her self completely in the water except for her nose. I chuckled at the sight for some reason then left the bathroom to put on a shirt of my own.31

I went down the stairs two at a time and trudged into the kitchen, going strait for the bottles of liquor lined up along the counter. I barely even noticed Leo sitting at the table."In a rush for something?" he asked as I picked out a half empty bottle of Vodka.32

"Oh, the boys got a hold of the girl when I was with you. Sliced open her thigh God knows how." I turned and leaned against the counter, showing him the bottle before taking a drink. "Just gonna clean her up a bit."33

"Why?" His brows knotted together and I did the same.34

"Why what?"35

"Why even bother? I mean look at me-"36

"Well, I'm not you, now am I? She's hurt pretty badly and I actually think she needs stitches."37

He laughed at this and I felt kind of stupid. "She needs stitches, does she? Well, God forbid she doesn't get those soon. You just might have a heart attack before then." he teased and I glanced down at the bottle in my hands. Maybe I was being a little foolish. Rushing to her aid and all. It's not like she means anything to me. But in the back of my mind there was an aching to defend myself for trying to help her. Leo would never let me live that down.38

I cleared my throat and decided to change the subject. "Where are Chase and Adam by the way?"39

He took a drink of his own bottle and sighed as though he just got done running a marathon. I suppose he should be exhausted. Going at it with that girl for almost three days straight. You'd think he'd be satisfied by now, but he's not. That's the difference between me and him. When I get enough I'm done until I need it again, but he just never seems finished.40

"They left. Off to get something to eat and bring it back. They didn't quite like the idea of seeing you anytime soon either." he said in quite a bored tone.41

"Yeah well I'm gonna strangle those little fuckers one day. Always trying to piss me off." my voice trailed off as I watched Leo turn the bottle in his hands. He looked like shit. Completely worn out. Which, I understood completely.42

"You ready to let her go yet, Leo?" I asked, toying with my bottle as well.43

He looked up at me with dark circles under his eyes. "No." he answered simply. "I can't let her go."44

I stopped leaning on the counter. "What do you mean? How much longer are you gonna keep her?"45

"Not for long."46

"But I thought you just said-" Then it hit me. He wasn't going to let her go at all, but he would never keep a girl for to long. He was gonna get rid of her. "Leo." I said seriously. "You don't mean that."47

His lazy eyes blinked slowly and he looked back down at his bottle. "I'm tired, Liam."48

Then he sighed heavily. "And she doesn't look like she's gonna make it anyway. If I let her go she'll just draw attention to herself. She'll need help and people would ask her questions. I know the girls we brought here before would never dare to open their mouths about us, but I really just don't want to take the risk. It's obvious what's happened just by looking at her." He looked up at me again. "I'll do it tomorrow night. She didn't have any family, no close friends except your girl. No one will ever notice she's gone."49

I just stood silently. I knew that sound in his voice. I'd heard it before. He was serious. After a moment or two I finally found my voice again. "You said you wouldn't do this again." I stepped forward to the table and sat down, starring him in the eye. "You can't, Leo. You just can't."50

"I have to." he said in almost a whisper. "You saw her, Liam. She's not gonna make it for much longer. I mean, I really did a number on her. And the boys, they were just as bad. Even you did it, Liam. You let yourself go like I told you to. And you were no walk through the fucking park for her either." He sighed again, looking away. "I have to."51

"You don't have to. Leo you can't do this again. I know you haven't forgotten that girl in Boston. Remember her?" I said coldly and he closed his eyes.52

"I didn't have a choice." he breathed. I haven't brought this up since it happened three years ago. We kind of pretend it didn't happen. But I was not gonna let him do this again."You didn't have to. You could have said no and walked away."53

He suddenly slammed his fist on the table with rage. "They were gonna kill me if I didn't! You weren't there, Liam! I had to!" His breathing was heavy as he lowered his head into his hands. "They said they'd kill me if I didn't." he whispered. "I didn't want to die. I knew they'd do it to. You saw them before, Liam. They meant business. I had to."54

I watched him silently for a while, remembering when we lived in Boston. He got in some trouble with the wrong group of people. He owed them money. A lot of money. And they eventually caught up with him so he could pay his debt. But Leo didn't have it. They threatened to kill him if he didn't get it soon. Leo begged, said he'd do anything. And they took him up on that offer.55

Supposedly, there was a girl who knew to much about them. Being high up on the drug cartel map , they couldn't risk an investigation from police. So if Leo didn't kill the girl, they'd kill him. But e didn't have to do it. He could have came to me and asked for help, but he didn't. He could have ran, but he didn't. It was his choice and he made the wrong one.56

"I won't let you." I said simply.57

He looked up and actually laughed a bit. "Like you could stop me from doing anything. I'm doing it tomorrow night, whether you like it or not." His dark eyes stung me like needles. "I know I have a choice this time. And I know this is the right one. She has to disappear."58

I didn't want to answer. I knew why he felt he had to do this. If he let her go she would go to the police. Even if she didn't she'd have to go to the hospital and they'd tell the police what happened to her. We'd be hunted down and put in prison. The night he killed that girl in Boston he came home, the gang having let him go a free man, and told me what he did. We left that very same night. The cops didn't even have a clue.59

Besides, we don't usually take girls here unless their willing. It's only when Leo really likes a girl, he brings her home and always brings me one to. He watches them for a while. Picks ones that don't have much. But we always let them go. They leave, threatened that if they spoke a word about us to anyone they'd be punished. Their always to scared. But we don't usually keep them this long either. Leo's serious this time.60

He sighed and stood up slowly. "I'm exhausted." he said yawning, then looked at me. "Just forget about it, Liam. You won't even notice. No one will. Everything will be fine. You'll see."61

I watched him walk away to the living room, no doubt to sleep on the couch. My mind was racing. Leo was clever in his own way. He was practiced enough not to be caught and I had a feeling he wouldn't be. But that wasn't the point. He really does have a choice this time. He's choosing to do this. Maybe he's right. Maybe I should just forget this and act like nothing's wrong.62

So I stood up and carried my bottle of Vodka up the stairs to my room, putting the conversation out of my mind. Nothing was wrong